Bernadette Azizi - Undying

“Is everything OK?” I asked.

“Well, not really. Mr Barclay wants me to babysit you, until he returns.”

I could see that they were his words, not James’s, so I let them pass.

“Where is he? Will he be long?” I queried.

“He has gone to meet Mr Cartwright this evening. He thought he would be back by now, but the meeting has taken longer than expected, so he called me to come and babysit you.”

“Mr Cartwright? At this hour?” I questioned.

“What are you reading there?” he asked. I don’t think he knows about today at all. He rarely looks at me when we are in the same room, so I guess I could be off the hook.

I didn’t have much patience for Mr Kemp these days, or at any time, so I just handed him the book and hopped into bed.

“Lord Byron, hmmm now there’s a talent. A Harrow old boy, you know. Lord Byron and I went to the same school.”

Probably in the same century, I imagined .

I rolled over and faced the other way. I was frustrated that I had to spend the evening with him and his blatant sarcasm, and that James was with Richard.

“Would you like me to read you a bedtime story dear?” he chuckled.

Stupid man, I think I may have liked him more before .

I tried to fall asleep but it was impossible. Mr Kemp had an annoying voice, especially when he read. His voice went up and down in volume and tone.

His poor students…

An hour had gone by and he was still rambling. I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to take this. Finally, there was a rattling of keys at the door, I watched the handle turn. To my delight, James was back. I got out of bed as quickly as my legs would let me and headed for the door. When he came in, I threw my arms around his waist and held onto him tightly.

“Please make it stop!”

James looked at me puzzled and then finally noticed Mr Kemp, who was still reading. James grinned. “Ah… Mr Kemp. Thank you for this evening. I can take it from here,” James said ever so politely.

“Oh… You’re back. Well Cathy, maybe I will continue where I left off the next time I am here.”

Coward!

I knew he would have loved to mention ‘babysitting’ again, but he chickened out. James walked Mr Kemp to the door, said goodnight and shook his hand. He locked the door and came back to me. He looked exhausted as he started to unbuckle the buttons on his shirt in an attempt to get comfortable.

“How is your leg?” he asked, considerately.

“OK… How are you?”

“Ohh-kaay…” he replied, mimicking my accent with a smile.

“I missed you this evening,” he said.

“I am sure not as much as I missed you. I know Mr Kemp was here to more or less protect me, but really, who is going to protect me from Mr Kemp?”

“I will,” he replied quickly as he sat beside me on his bed.

“Why were you with Richard this evening?” I probed.

“Richard? Are you two on a first-name basis now?” he replied slowly.

“Why were you with him?” I asked again, ignoring his question.

“I met with him to request that he refrain from discussing what happened today with anyone.”

“Did he agree?”

“Yes, of course. But it seems like you may have another admirer.”

“What? No, never!” I replied. I was furious.

“Oh, before I forget, he had a message for you,” James added. As he got up from the bed and continued to undo his buttons, he made his way to the shower. He held onto the door handle and paused for a moment. “Hmmm, what was it he said. Ah, yes, that’s right. He said, ‘ Don’t forget we still need to engrave the locket .’”

“James. I am so sorry he said that to you. I promise he has nothing to do with the locket. It’s from me and only me.”

“I know that Catherine. It took everything I had not to strike him and caution him to stay away from you!” James said as he entered the bathroom.

Why would Richard pass that message through James? What could he possibly achieve by doing so? I wish he had hit him. I don’t know how much more James will take before he realises that I’m not worth all the hassle. Why can’t everything just be normal?

I got off the bed and started pacing the room, waiting for James to come out so I could explain in more detail what happened. Finally, the water stopped running. I went to the door and waited. As soon as the door opened, I opened my mouth ready to explain. But nothing came out. Again James stood there with no shirt, just long pants. I don’t know how I will ever get used to resisting his incredible body. I forgot what I was going to say and more to the point, how to say it. I was now completely distracted, and he knew it.

“Catherine?”

“Sorry, just a bit distracted…” I said with a slight grin.

“I want to explain,” I added.

“No need. I know how Richard can be. I should be used to his devices to stir up trouble. I have to insist that you are not to go to his cottage alone ever again.”

“Of course I promise.”

“Now, how was your evening with Mr Kemp? Was it really all that bad?”

“Worse than bad! His reading is awful — more stops and starts than Phar Lap!”

“We have no choice. He is the only one who knows what’s going on other than us.”

“Other than you, you mean! Not us! I still don’t have the faintest idea what is going on”.

James grabbed a t-shirt from his drawer, put it on and sat on his bed. I sat down next to him, grabbed both pillows and placed them behind me, trying to get my injured body comfortable.

“I pray… I mean I really pray that it will all come back to you. That everything will be clear… You need to consider everything that happens. Do not dismiss any notion. Think the unthinkable… and at the end of all this, I will be there, with you always.”

The rest of the evening was spent in silence in James’s arms. Thankful that I have him in my life, I wished that we could remain here forever.

Neither of us made mention of today’s events, which suited me just fine. Hours had gone by and I didn’t feel tired at all. My second wind must have kicked in about midnight. When James realised what the time was, he turned off the lights and decided that I needed to sleep. It didn’t take long for me to start yawning. I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath and started to think about the advice James had given me earlier — the bit about thinking the unthinkable, and not dismissing any notion.

After a few moments, my eyelids were heavy, my body was relaxed and only the sounds of breathing could be heard.

I woke to a throbbing pain in my leg. I guess all the tossing and turning hadn’t helped it. I felt dreadful. Just as well James was still asleep. It was still dark outside, but here in England that wasn’t always a reliable guide of the time. The morning darkness here seemed to linger on. Slowly and quietly I got out of bed. Wanting to look at my leg without disturbing James, I made my way slowly to the bathroom. The pain in my leg was getting worse. I pulled my pants up above my knee so I could see around my bandage. Surprisingly, my leg seemed the same as it was yesterday. I couldn’t see any redness or swelling around the dressing, but it still felt sore. I made my way to the basin. My reflection in the mirror was disheartening. I looked so worn out. I turned the hot water on and let in run for a few seconds, giving it a chance to warm up. Still half asleep, I bent my head down into the basin and with both palms I filled my hands and splashed my face. I stretched out my right arm to grab a hand towel to wipe my face. For no reason, I started feeling apprehensive. I began to tremble… I wasn’t alone.