Bernadette Azizi - Undying

“You’re hurt, Catherine.”

I couldn’t understand what he meant other than being tired. I felt no pain. I looked down at myself to see that my leg was cut open and there was blood all over me.

“Oh my God!”

I closed my eyes and turned my head away.

“Please, don’t be frightened… I will fix it for you. It’s nothing. I think there is a first-aid kit somewhere around here,” I heard him mumble to himself.

With my eyes still shut, I could hear the racket of cupboards and drawers being opened and slammed shut.

“Here we are,” Richard said as he returned. “Catherine, I apologise, this could hurt a little.”

I kept my eyes closed. I did not want to see my leg again. I screamed out in pain, the wound on my leg felt like it was burning.

“Stop, please stop!” I pleaded.

“No Catherine, keep your leg still. I have to stop the bleeding,” he snapped back at me.

I felt awful for what I had brought on myself. I loved James so much that I was willing to go head to head with something that was so terrifying and that I still didn’t understand.

I need to know what’s going on, but killing myself in the process isn’t going to bring James and I closer together. Oh, I can just imagine what Mr Kemp is going to say when he hears about this. And James. When he realises I’m not back and sees Jules. Oh, I can’t bear to think what I’m going to put him through. I wish I could take back today and start all over again. I would have turned back up those stairs and jumped back into bed with him .

“Right… Now that is the best I can do, considering,” Richard said, looking at his attempt at first-aid.

I opened my eyes guardedly and looked down at my wound, which was now bandaged and didn’t burn anymore.

I looked up at Richard, who for the first time seemed to be a gentle, caring person, not his usual arrogant self.

“Thank you… I…” I couldn’t speak, I just cried. I covered my face out of embarrassment and felt his hand gently hold my arm. I quickly stopped and wiped my eyes. I had to leave before James realised I went on my own.

”I have to go.”

“Go? You can’t go anywhere in this weather. When the rain stops we can walk to my car, it’s at the village a few minutes from here.

“It’s strange, I am not even sure why I came to the cottage today. I think it was fate that I was here for you,” Richard replied with a smile.

I didn’t reply, just smiled politely.

“I’m guessing you were going for a run and came here because of the rain, but I don’t understand why you looked so terrified. What happened?” he asked gently as he grabbed a chair and sat in front of me.

“It’s silly… I thought I heard someone chasing me,” I replied hesitantly.

“Chasing you?” he repeated, disturbed.

“I ran as fast as I could. I guess I worked myself up and fell, and I suppose that’s when I cut myself.”

“Did you see anyone?”

I then thought of the dark silhouette, the hard stomping on the ground and the trees breaking behind me. I got shivers down my spine.

“No… No I didn’t, I know, I’m so stupid. Look what I have done to myself and not to mention dragging you into this. I really am so sorry.”

“Not at all. Now, I need to get you out of these wet clothes.”

“I guess you’re right.”

As Richard left the room, I shook my head at the mess I had gotten myself into.

How will I ever be able to face Mr Kemp and James after this?

Anxious to get back to the college, I attempted to get off the lounge. My assessment of the damage indicated the pain to be bearable. I limped towards the window. The rain had stopped. I was pleased about that.

“Be careful! I wouldn’t be moving around so much just yet, Catherine,” Richard said as he entered the room, holding up an old over-sized navy jacket.

“Is that for me?”

“Unfortunately, yes. But I have every confidence that you will manage to look beautiful in it.”

Embarrassed, I limped to him and took the jacket.

“Thank you, I won’t be a second,” I stated, and headed to the bedroom. Once inside, I was faced with the problem of changing. My tights were a nuisance to take off. Being wet, they were stuck to my body, and being unable to freely move my leg around made a simple task irritating and time-consuming. The jacket was unbelievably ugly, but it was warm and dry. I picked my wet clothes up from the floor, thinking I might be able to dry them in front of the fireplace. To my shock, James was standing in the middle of the room. Richard was beside the table. I tried to contain myself and act the way I would if I wasn’t incredibly in love with this man.

“See? She’s fine!” Richard said.

James didn’t acknowledge him. He just stared at me as if he was seeing a ghost. My heart broke. All I wanted was to be in his arms, but I couldn’t. Richard was already getting suspicious of James’s behavior.

“Are you alright?” James asked me in a low voice.

I wished he hadn’t asked me anything. It was killing me just seeing him like this. I had brought nothing but pain to this man, and this made me feel that I would somehow be the death of him.

“I am so sorry for worrying you. I’m fine, honestly. Just clumsy.” I started limping back to the lounge to sit down. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see anger across James’s face as he watched me limp. I sat down on the end of the lounge closer to him. There was an awkward silence for a while.

“James, you can go back if you like. Catherine is fine. I am in no hurry, I can stay with her until the rain stops and walk her to my car, which isn’t far, and drive her back to the college.”

James stood tall and looked directly at Richard. “I am not going anywhere. You will find that my car is next to yours and Dr Simons is in it, so if you need to leave, feel free.”

“A car and a doctor. I guess you win!” Richard said as he looked out the window. “Oh well, it looks like you also seem to control the weather. The rain’s stopped! Well, if I am not needed anymore, then I guess I will be off. Catherine, I hope you have a speedy recovery and please feel free to use this cottage whenever you need to,” Richard said as he made his way toward me. He crouched down in front of me.

“Be careful! I would hate for something to happen to you if I wasn’t there to help you.”

“Thank you,” I said hesitantly.

I knew Richard was trying to get under James’s skin. I couldn’t see James’s reaction, because he was purposely turned away.

“James, always a pleasure,” Richard taunted, before promptly leaving.

Neither one of us spoke for a while.

“Are you in pain?” James’s angelic voice finally broke the silence.

“No… No… I am fine,” I answered, quickly.

“Richard said that you thought someone was chasing you… is that true?”

“Um… yes James, I can’t go back to Australia — I won’t!”

“I don’t understand.”

“Mr Kemp said that if I don’t figure out what’s happening on my own, it wouldn’t matter because I have to leave at the end of the year anyway,” I confessed.

“So, you’re now in a hurry to figure this out? If this is the result of you trying to understand what’s going on, then I don’t want this!”

James started to walk away from me. I got up quickly and grabbed his hand.

“James, stop! What do you mean you don’t want this, this as in me?”

“Catherine, I love you. I would rather not have your love if you have to go through this,” he said, pointing to my leg.

“I hate what’s going on, it’s like… ah… it’s like I’m being hurt for loving you. I feel as if you have always been mine, always. We just need to be given a chance, that’s all, just a chance,” I cried.