Bernadette Azizi - Undying

“Hello…” he said with a smirk on his face.

“Hi… Did you enjoy your walk?” I replied, a matching smirk on my face.

“Yes, thank you. I want to apologise. I shouldn’t have encouraged you. I need you to understand. There is one other thing that I want more than having you completely: your safety! Now, unless you want to spend your nights with Mr Kemp, I suggest you take off what you’re wearing and put on something that covers you right up. Oh, and when I mean take it off, you can do that in the bathroom.” He grabbed my shoulders, turned me around and marched me off, like a child, to the bathroom. I could see that there was no choice but to follow his orders. The thought of spending my nights with that mad scientist filled me with dread.

I put on my usual attire: long pants with a t-shirt and came out of the bathroom. James was in bed again, reading. I got straight under the covers and lay on my pillow.

“Good night then,” I said, irritated.

“Good night, my love,” James replied.

There they are again… those same words .

I felt like James had said those words to me a thousand times before. I found it hard to sleep. What Mr Kemp had said to me kept playing, over and over, in my mind?

If I don’t figure this out, it doesn’t matter because I will be gone by the end of the year? Is that what James also feels? It can’t be. I have to figure it out, even if I have to tempt fate. I need to know .

The next morning, James had to wake me for my run with Jules. I hadn’t slept well, disturbed by the thought of being sent back to Australia and being separated from James.

That will never happen! I just won ’ t allow it !

I rushed to get dressed. I didn’t want Jules knocking on my door looking for me.

“Enjoy your run.”

“Will do.”

James opened the door, poked his head out and then gave me the ‘all clear’ to leave. I headed for the stairs. I didn’t even get halfway down when I spotted Jules heading up the stairs.

“Good morning, sleepy head. I knocked on your door but you didn’t answer, so I assumed you were already down there waiting for me.”

“Sorry Jules, I didn’t hear you. I must have been in the shower. Why aren’t you dressed for our run?” I enquiry.

“Oh dear Catherine, I feel like I am coming down with something and it looks like it might rain. I really don’t think it’s a good idea for me to run this morning.”

“Oh, that’s fine. Get some rest and I hope you feel better soon.”

“I will walk down with you to the front lawn,” she said as she turned back around and headed down.

“Oh Jules, I think I will also give it a miss.”

“Oh, no… I will be so upset if you don’t go on account of me. You know the track and if it does rain, head for the old miner’s cottage to wait it out.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I nodded and smiled as I headed back down the stairs.

“OK, but you go back to your room, don’t come out again.”

“Alright. Have a great run.”

I started out on a slow jog, still hesitant about whether I should actually go. I hadn’t been on my own like this for months, but I had to go. Jules had insisted. I just wondered what James and Mr Kemp would do when they found out. It was colder than usual and the grounds were wet and muddy from last night’s heavy rain. The weather was gloomy and the air misty, which suited my mood. I wished I hadn’t worn my three-quarter tights and new joggers. The muck on the ground was now on my lower legs and all over my white shoes. I couldn’t pick up my pace for fear of slipping and the jog seemed to drag on forever. I was bored, cold and annoyed. I started to think about Mr Kemp and how happy he would be if I did go back to Australia. He could have his room back and would not have to babysit me again.

But how would James feel? I would be crushed. I can’t imagine me living happily back home anymore. I have to stay .

As I contemplated all the possible scenarios, the rain started pelting down. I pulled my hood over my head. I was so angry with myself now, for going on this run, especially without Jules. I tried to decide the best course of action.

Should I turn back now and have a 40-minute run back in the pouring rain or should I take the cottage trail, about 15 minutes away?

I stopped and took a second to decide. Unexpectedly, I became conscious of soft voices behind me. I turned around quickly, but I could see no one there. My heart started racing, blood rushed to my head, I felt panicked and at that moment decided I wasn’t going back.

I will go to the cottage and wait it out .

I continued with a fast walk. I was now at a cross road and I took the left track. I hadn’t gone this way since that first time with Jules. Forgetting how rugged the track was, I became increasingly fearful of losing my footing. I slowed down my pace, not wanting to deal with any injuries. The rain started pounding even faster, if that was at all possible. While still jogging I looked back over my shoulder out of paranoia.

Huh? I could have sworn I saw a silhouette of someone…

It stopped me in my tracks.

“Who’s there?” I shouted as I started walking backward, frightened that something was about to creep up on me. I felt sick in the stomach. The echo of the wind and the pounding of the rain was deafening, but not enough to drown out the sound of my heart racing. I decided to turn and run as fast as I could, praying that I wouldn’t fall. The faster I ran, the more terrified I became. I could now hear branches snapping and loud thumping against the ground behind me. The vibrations shook my body. I wanted to scream, but nothing would come out. I could see the cottage up ahead, but it didn’t matter. Exhausted and overcome, I felt my body wanting to stop. With no control or force in my legs, I stumbled to the ground, landing on rocks and other debris.

“Stop!” I screamed. The sting of pain was unbearable.

I closed my eyes and screamed in terror, no longer able to run away.

“Catherine, what in God’s name…?”

I looked up and it was Richard, running towards me from the cottage. My body started to shake as I tried to stand, but I couldn’t. Still afraid of what was behind me, and despite the pain in my hands and knees, I attempted to crawl. I struggled to keep my eyes open. Richard lunged to the ground and lifted me up. I could see his lips moving but I couldn’t hear him. The distressed look on his face pleased me. It gave me hope that he knew that there was danger nearby, and would be vigilant. Everything around me seemed in slow motion, no sounds could be heard anymore. The rain seemed to fall but couldn’t be felt on my skin. My ears felt blocked; the way they did when I dove into the pool as a child. I didn’t want to speak. I was too drained.

Moments later, I was lying down on the lounge in the cottage in front of the lit fireplace. I could feel the warmth. I looked to see Richard on his mobile. He appeared upset but I didn’t know why. I smiled at him, but he didn’t smile back. He slammed his mobile on the table and came towards me. Grabbing his forehead, he started talking again. I couldn’t understand why he was so angry. I decided to close my eyes. I figured I had earned the rest. But Richard didn’t let me. He shook me and yelled at me, which made my ears pop. The sound of the rain on the roof could now be clearly heard.

“Catherine, I need you to stay awake. I need to go and get help. There is no service on my phone,” he said.

I shook my head from side to side. “No… you can’t leave me here! No… please don’t leave me!” I pleaded.