Jean-Marie Blas De Robles - Where Tigers Are at Home

Kircher received his visitor with a great show of courtesy as he led him to the laboratory where we then shut ourselves away. Feigning naïveté, my master pretended to be enraptured by the supposed exploits Blauenstein brazenly boasted about, although he did so beneath a façade of indifference & wisdom that had so deceived Sinibaldus.

“Gold, of course …” the alchemist said in contemptuous tones, “there’s a word that brings many foolish men running. What if I were to tell you that for me it is the basest of metals? A strange paradox, don’t you think? But to make it one must first of all understand the vanity of all the riches of this world; the very moment one knows the secret of transmutation, one realizes how futile it is …”

“True, sir. However I believe that your uncommon knowledge in matters of alchemy could help to explain much that is obscure in the workings of nature & I know a very worthy man of very high rank — it would not be appropriate to name him yet — who would be very happy to profit from your wisdom. But for that, you would have to deign, solely as a guarantee for the procedure I am undertaking here in his name [Kircher pronounced these last three words with sufficient gravity to make the alchemist feel he was acting in an official capacity], to repeat for me the experiment my friend Sinibaldus has spoken of with such admiration.”

“Nothing simpler,” Blauenstein replied, happy that he had come to the point and not at all put out by this request, “it is with great pleasure & all the respect due to … this person that I agree to demonstrate my paltry knowledge.”

“I believe our laboratory is equipped with everything you need,” Kircher said &, as the alchemist turned to the huge cast-iron boiler bristling with retorts roaring away in the center of the room, added, “This furnace of my own design has sixty-six separate crucibles but, as you see, they are all being used to distil medical essences. Take this one, which I use specifically for my chemical experiments. As for the ingredients, you have but to ask and my assistant will be happy to fetch them for you.”

Never happier than in this situation, Blauenstein strutted over to the furnace and majestically set about starting it up, all the while enumerating the ingredients he would need:

“Realgar: five ounces, cinnabar: five ounces, sulphur: one & a half ounces, the same for saltpeter & Turkestan salt, twice as much mercury & orpiment …”

Athanasius & Sinibaldus watched the alchemist throw all these substances into the crucible as I brought them, after having duly weighed & prepared them according to his instructions. When the mixture was complete and starting to boil, Blauenstein opened a little case he had brought with him & took out a long jade spoon & a vial of transparent liquid. “In this flask there is what remains of a liquid I made when I was in China some years ago. Its power is such, that a single drop poured into the appropriate mixture will immediately bring about the transmutation.”

“And this magnificent object?” my master asked, looking as if he would like to examine the jade spoon.

“It has no effect on the process whatsoever,” the alchemist said, readily handing it to Kircher, “it is a present from the Grand Imperial Physician, my late brother-in-law. I merely use it in honor of his memory & to benefit from its intrinsic virtues.”

“In that case,” Athanasius said, absentmindedly stroking the jade surface, “I imagine you will not see any inconvenience in using one of my own spoons. Look, this one was designed by … by the person of whom we were speaking earlier. He will be flattered, I can assure you, to learn that he made a contribution, however small, to the accomplishment of the Great Work …”

Never did a face change so quickly; in a few seconds nothing was left of the solicitousness & boldness that characterized Blauenstein’s expression. Without saying a word, he stared at Kircher with the suspicious, malignant look of a rat in a trap, while my master kept his eyes lowered, fixed on the instrument that seemed so essential to the alchemist.

“You must give that person my sincere apologies,” Blauenstein eventually said with ill-concealed wiliness, “but it is very important to me to use that spoon. Because … let’s say because I am very much attached to it. Transmutation is not a simple matter of chemistry, it also requires a certain … touch, you need to have the trick of it & in that one’s familiarity with certain objects, sometimes the affection one has for them, can play a decisive role—”

“Enough, sir!” Kircher said, slowly raising his eyes to fix them on the alchemist. All trace of the inane affability my master had affected until then had vanished: suddenly Blauenstein was faced with an inquisitor, a monster to make one’s blood run cold. “The trick of it is exactly what mountebanks of your kind have. Except that mountebanks don’t have the hypocrisy that is your true nature. You are an imposter, a common cutpurse & if you have produced gold it is only by taking it from the pockets of those who are more credulous than I—”

“How dare you!” the alchemist exclaimed indignantly, in one final attempt.

“You turd excreted from the seminary! Do I have to reveal all your tricks one by one?” Kircher went on, seizing him by the collar. “Do I have to tell you why you insist on using this spoon? On your knees, you unfrocked monk, on your knees. The torturers of the Inquisition reserve special treatment for scoundrels of your sort.”

And if Sieur Sinibaldus was not yet convinced of the imposture of which he had been the victim, what followed would finally have opened his eyes. With nothing to fall back on in the face of Kircher’s attacks & threats, Blauenstein suddenly yielded & poured out all the tricks his evil imagination had invented. Nothing was so pleasing as to see this man, who had been so full of himself, tremble & to hear him go to any lengths to beg my master for mercy.

Once Athanasius had reduced him to this state, he pretended he had decided to let clemency prevail. “I am not going to ask you to make any promises — after this what person in his right senses would believe your word? — but I order you to leave this city at once with your prostitute & never return as long as you live. I beseech you to give up alchemy. As the price of his sins, Sinibaldus will make you a present of the money you acquired by such dishonest means — use it to mend your ways by taking honest work & save your soul by sincerely repenting your past sins. If I ever hear of your misdeeds again, I will not hesitate to hand you over to the jurisdiction of the Church.”

Blauenstein, as one can well imagine, did not need to be told twice. He swore to everything that was asked of him, poured forth his pathetic thanks & took to his heels.

Sinibaldus could not believe his good fortune. In a few minutes Kircher had given him back both his honor & the largest part of his wealth. Weeping tears of emotion, his eyes shining with gratitude, he knelt down to thank God. Athanasius went over to him, admonished him mildly & gave him absolution.

As for me, I congratulated my master for the exemplary way in which he had unmasked that dangerous swindler, but I also questioned him about certain points that were still unclear to me. How would Blauenstein have claimed to make gold if he hadn’t been stopped at the last moment? By what miracle had Kircher become aware of the alchemist’s former profession?

My master replied to my questions with a smile. “Make gold? Nothing easier.”

He went over to a furnace on which water was boiling in a glass bowl, plunged the jade spoon into it and started to stir slowly. To our great amazement we saw a shower of gold flakes appear in the clear water of the retort.