Jean-Marie Blas De Robles - Where Tigers Are at Home

The sight was a shock for the wealthy lady with the elaborate makeup who passed him at that moment; she froze in front of him. The miniature dog she had on a lead started to yap, baring its teeth and bristling. With a vicious punch on its muzzle, Nelson transformed its hysterical barking into a high-pitched wail.

“ Não sou cobra, mas ando todo envenenando ,” he said menacingly, jutting out his chin at the woman.

As she ran off, clutching her dog, he burst out laughing and had a long pee, out there in the street, in the sunshine.

In which Kircher exposes Blauenstein’s trickery

THE FAIR MEI–LI greeted her husband by prostrating herself in the manner of the Chinese but the alchemist paid her no attention. Hardly had he entered the laboratory than he started to frown & pace up & down from one pentacle to the other, a concerned look on his face. He was going past the altar when an invisible force appeared to stop him going any farther, as if he could tell that the place had been the scene of a shameful act. He turned slowly around to face his wife & Sinibaldus.

“If I didn’t have such trust in you,” he said gravely, “I could believe that my orders have been disobeyed. There are evil effluvia in this room from which I foresee many setbacks for our undertaking. Are you sure you have not neglected to carry out any of my orders? It would be a tragedy to fail so close to our goal.”

Sinibaldus had gone pale. Prey to the most horrible doubt when faced with the alchemist’s extraordinary powers, his knees were knocking & he was sweating profusely. Especially since Mei-li, far from maintaining her usual impassive expression, also seemed extremely perturbed, looking as if she expected anathema to be pronounced against her. Sinibaldus made a great effort to reassure the alchemist but he became so flustered as he lied that he noticed the weakness of his argument himself & eventually fell silent.

“I will not insult you by doubting your word,” Blauenstein went on, with marked skepticism, “I could be wrong … But all this will be quickly verified: a simple action will reveal the plain truth to me immediately.”

He took the bezoar stone out of his pocket & went over to the furnace, followed by his wife & Sinibaldus. Then holding it above the athenor, he declaimed:

“By Kether, Hokmah, Binah, Hesod, Gevurah, Rahimin, Netsh, Hod, Yesod & Malkuth! By the seventy-two secret letters of the name of God whom I now invoke, may this final testimony of the purity of our bodies & of our souls bring us the elixir of immortality!”

At that, he cast the bezoar into the bubbling elements. Deliberately prepared for this, the mixture immediately exploded, sending up a shower of sparks & a thick cloud, which concealed the furnace from them. Whilst Sinibaldus, in terror, was praying out loud to God & dashing from window to window in order to ventilate the room, the alchemist took advantage of his preoccupation to operate an ingenious mechanism.

Once it was again possible to see sufficiently, the three of them, coughing, blackened with soot, hurried over to the crucible. Blauenstein immediately drew back with screams of horror. When he went to look, Sinibaldus thought he would drop dead on the spot; his heart missed a beat & a mortal chill spread through his bones — there was a living viper in the athanor!

“Treachery! Treachery!” the alchemist bellowed, his face contorted with fury.

Sinibaldus had not had time to recover before Mei-li was clinging to her husband’s coattails, begging his forgiveness & confessing in detail to all the ignominious acts she had committed in his absence. More dead than alive, completely bewildered by the malice of his tormentors, Sinibaldus wished the ground would open & swallow him up: he could not believe his ears as he heard this woman, who had sworn eternal love to him in transports of ecstasy, now accuse him of every evil in a brazen travesty of the truth; he realized it would be impossible for him to clear himself of the accusations. Struck dumb by her infamy, his legs gave way and he collapsed in an armchair, overwhelmed by the extent of his misfortune.

“Passing over the fact that you have wasted all our efforts,” the incensed alchemist said, “after all, it’s your money that has gone up in smoke, but to skewer my wife, indulge yourself with her, & against her will, in the most vile sorcery! I will report this to the Inquisition, sir, you will see that this kind of crime is not treated lightly. Justice! Justice! Send for the guard!”

Alerted by the tumult and worried about her husband, Sinibaldus’s wife was making a racket outside the door. Looking up, Sinibaldus caught a smile of complicity between Blauenstein & his Chinese she-devil; all at once he realized how he had been duped & that none of his pleas would loosen their clutches into which he had fallen.

He managed to find the strength to murmur, “All my wealth, monsieur, all my wealth if you remain silent.”

His words had the desired effect.

Sinibaldus hastened to reassure his wife, speaking to her through the door, & then returned to Blauenstein to drain the bitter cup to the dregs. Under the contemptuous stare of the woman whom he had taken for Isis herself, he submitted to the will of the alchemist. He had one week to realize the whole of his wealth & hand it over to these two scoundrels; once he had done that he would be guaranteed their silence for ever. If he failed to do so, he could be equally assured of denunciation, scandal &, consequently, the stake.

It was the day following these disastrous events that Sinibaldus returned to the College for the first time. Kircher was surprised he had remained absent for so many weeks, afraid he had perhaps been a little too brusque at their previous meeting. He therefore welcomed him with sincere pleasure & an astonishment he could not conceal: the man before him had aged by fifteen years, was bent low beneath his misfortune & repentance, and had come to ask for confession.

“Alas, Father,” said Sinibaldus, “when they met me coming out of chapel, this monster spun his web so well there is nothing left for me but to let them strip me bare.”

“No, no, my friend, you mustn’t lay down your arms so quickly. And it seems to me I can see a way of—”

“Oh, Father,” Sinibaldus exclaimed, grasping his hand, “if there is such a way, set it in motion. I will obey you in everything & my gratitude, you can be assured—”

“Forget your gratitude, at least for the moment, & do what I am going to tell you. Never let it be said that the Church capitulated before the creatures of the Fiend. You will go back to your house & persuade this accursed alchemist to come & set about making gold here. Continue to play your role of dupe, allay any suspicions he might have by begging him to pardon you for the adultery of which you were guilty, play up to him … Finally, tell him that I have heard of his extraordinary talents & would like to see him demonstrate them. And above all do not forget to hint at my credulity in such matters nor to paint in glowing colors the advantages he stands to gain by convincing me. You are well aware that the Emperor himself is interested in alchemy & does me the honor of granting me his friendship & his favor.”

Cheered by the hope my master had revived in him, Sinibaldus hastened to put Kircher’s plans into action. They worked beyond all expectation: blinded by his sense of his own superiority, Blauenstein fell into every trap set by Athanasius & less than two days had passed when the acoustic tube announced his presence, with Sinibaldus, at the entrance to the College.