Bernadette Azizi - Undying

The man was very handsome, not as handsome as James, but still attractive and extremely well dressed. He had blue eyes and fair hair with a similar physique to James.

“Excuse me, I hope I’m not interrupting,” he asked. “My name is Richard Cartwright.” He put out his hand for me to shake.

“And you are?” he asked, inquisitively.

“Oh, good morning… I’m Catherine,” I replied, offering my hand.

To my surprise, he grabbed my hand, lifted it towards his lips and kissed it.

I can’t believe he just did that!

It felt awful. I mean there was no reason for me to feel this way but having James there to see it, I felt as if I had betrayed him. Which was crazy! What was even crazier was that James seemed to also disapprove of this man kissing my hand.

“Richard!” James snapped as he put out his hand to greet him, designed to divert his attention from me. James tone was serious and irritated.

“James, it’s great to see you again. Where have you been this whole break? I didn’t hear of you in London at all, you’re not still in a daze about that old woman you bumped into last time we were there?”

I looked at James who seemed to be surprised by his comment.

“Don’t tell me you stayed at the college the entire time. I will not forgive you that unless you tell me Catherine were here the whole time with you!” he teased.

“Richard, please… Catherine will be teaching at the college,” James informed Richard, visibly annoyed by his innuendo.

“Really, well I am going to have to think up some excuses to come and visit more often,” he threatened.

“Good day, Catherine… James…”

And off he went. I looked at James. He seemed troubled, and I wondered whether it was about Mr Cartwright’s comment or his promise to come and see us, or me, more often.

“Oh my, was that Mr Richard Cartwright? Oh! I missed saying hello!” Jules blurted out, breathing heavily from behind us.

“Excuse me ladies, please enjoy the rest of your day,” James said as he made his way back to the college.

“Catherine, did you meet Richard? How did you find him? Isn’t he just wonderful?”

Jules was over-excited.

“Well, tell me! What did you think? What did he say? Come on…”

“Jules, I don’t know… I only saw him for a moment.”

I didn’t want to tell her that he kissed my hand or that we may be seeing more of him and Richard’s remark about the old lady in London.

“Wait, did he make a comment to James about not seeing him in London over the break?”

Jules started laughing with excitement. She could tell from the expression on my face that she was correct.

“Oh, that Mr Cartwright! Now, he has been divorced for well over a year and he is quite the ladies’ man. He has been trying to lure Mr Barclay to join his wild ways, but Mr Barclay is not like that. He won’t have a bar of it. He seems to be completely loyal to the woman he loves.”

“Well our shift is over,” Jules announced. “Let’s go inside and have a cup of tea.” We started walking back to the main entrance of the college.

Tea again!

“Other than tea, is there anything else I should know about today and tomorrow?”

Jules giggled at my delicate tease on her tea intake.

“Well, we have no more official commitments for today, but tomorrow is our assembly. Mr Barclay will address the students, parents and teachers. Followed by… tea,” she belted out with a laugh. “You will meet Professor Davidson there. And Tuesday, school will officially commence.”

Such was Jules’s enthusiasm it was as if she had also just started working here.

After we had our tea, I went for another wander around the grounds, to explore on my own. Even though Jules gave a good tour, I still wasn’t certain where anything was. After a few hours walking around I started to feel more confident with my bearings. I made sure I had the bare essentials down: library, my class, James’s office, Dr Simons’ room and the great hall. I decided to head for dinner.

Over dinner, Mr Kemp unavoidably sat directly in front of me, staring at me like a hyena, chewing his food in a slow and theatrical manner with his napkin tucked into his collar. He was so arrogant; not even trying to hide the fact that he was watching me. Jules, as expected, chatted through most of dinner completely unaware.

I tried to ignore him but it was too hard. I wasn’t use to being made stared down like that. Once he finished his meal he sat back in his chair and continued to stare.

This had to be a practical joke being played on me, like an initiation, or was everyone oblivious .

I looked away, hoping that when I looked back he would have disappeared, a trick I used to use as a child. Unfortunately it didn’t work then nor did it work now, however he did turn away from me for a moment. I followed his eyes to see what could have possible taken his attention from me; it was James. To my left a few seats away, for the first time this evening I noticed him. Was he there all that time? I must have been so distracted by Mr Kemp not to have noticed .

James, unlike everyone else, had noticed Mr Kemp scrutinising me and didn’t seem to be happy about it. His attention was entirely on him. Suddenly, James shook his head slowly from side to side as if to say no, and his expression appeared more annoyed. I quickly looked over to Mr Kemp, who seemed to be frustrated, fidgeting with his neck collar. He then abruptly stood up and left.

I couldn’t help but smile out of relief. I felt emotional… having someone look out for me like that… it was unexpected, but somehow natural. It felt as if James had been on my side forever .

I looked over to James, his focus now on me. He didn’t turn away but continued to look intently at me. I couldn’t look away either, I just couldn’t help myself; and why not, it’s not like anyone here notices anything .

I didn’t know if I should be so presumptuous to say thank you, or to just continue to look into his beautiful eyes.

“Catherine,” I could hear Jules call out to me.

“Yes,” I turned reluctantly.

“Oh, Catherine, I feel awful that I left you out of the conversation. Dr Simons, has just had a brilliant idea, that you should maybe say something at tomorrow’s assembly.”

“What, no… No way,” I protested.

Jules seemed surprised with my reaction.

“Why ever not?”

“Jules… I just can’t… not to parents and teachers. Please don’t mention it again,” I pleaded.

“Of course, I would never want to make you feel uncomfortable,” Jules said as she grabbed my arm.

“Thank you.”

I was relieved. Not only did I avoid what could have been a total humiliation, but was reassured of her friendship, that couldn’t have come at a better time.

I slowly turned away wanting to see James again, but he had left.

“Knock-knock sleepy head, it’s time to wake up, assembly will commence in an hour,” Jules called from outside my door. I half opened my eyes. There was no way it was morning already.

“Are you awake?” Jules sung out.

“Yes, yes I am. Thanks Jules, I won’t be long… I will see you down there,” I yelled back.

“See you soon,” she replied.

I don’t even remember falling asleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about James all evening, what’s all that about — he makes me feel… like I’m not myself.

I sat up, and took in a deep breath. I started recalling some of my thoughts of him last night, and then quickly shook them out of my head with a mischievous smile. I also recalled dreaming of Victoria last night and that Charles Barton had tried to kiss her. Yuk! That was nauseating even as a dream.