Bernadette Azizi - Undying

“Jules, will Mr Barclay and Mr Kemp be joining us for dinner? I noticed they both aren’t here yet.”

“Catherine, please don’t remind me. I can’t believe that Mr Barclay is missing out on this dinner because of Mr Kemp,” Jules replied with frustration.

“What do you mean? Is there something wrong?”

“The only thing wrong is that Mr Kemp is still at this college! Dr Simons was telling me that Mr Kemp was on the roof causing a fuss again, carrying on about your arrival being an imbalance in the stars. Mr Barclay has been with him now for over an hour trying to calm him down and have him join the dinner.”

Jules sighed and shook her head.

“And to make matters worse, this whole night was arranged by Mr Barclay. We are so lucky to have such a talented and caring principal. You know he doesn’t have to work? Mr Barclay is extremely wealthy but he chooses to stay and better this school, and now he’s missing out on this dinner because of such an annoying man.”

Jules stopped talking — a rare occurrence — and her disappointed look turned to joy. I looked in the direction in which she was looking and the sight of Mr Barclay coming down those stairs was such a relief! He looked amazing! He immediately went to the end of the table, opposite me.

“Please accept my apology. I was unavoidably detained,” he apologised and sat down.

He looked different from this afternoon — tired and somewhat sad. I felt his despair and I was immediately saddened. The wonderful mood I was in earlier had disappeared and I didn’t know why. I didn’t speak much — just an occasional nod to any question that was asked of me. Jules didn’t seem to notice as she and Dr Simons were utterly engrossed in conversation.

James didn’t speak much to anyone that evening and made no eye contact with me at all. I felt unimportant.

I really don’t like Mr Kemp! I wonder what he had done or said to Mr Barclay. Maybe Mr Kemp should stay outside under the stars permanently as our school’s gnome if that would make him happier?

The evening was not what I had hoped for. It was slow, quiet and boring. The fact Mr Barclay was in an off mood caused my own mood to sink. When Jules suddenly grabbed Dr Simons and tried to convince him to dance against his will, it was the only time that forced me to smile. Looking around the table, I saw that everyone else was amused by them also, even Mr Barclay, his smile immense and pure, and for a moment we caught each other’s eye. His smile immediately changed, becoming warmer. Our eyes locked for a few seconds, then he raised one eyebrow and slowly lowered his head. I think he was embarrassed! I turned away quickly and continued to watch Dr Simons attempt to get away from Jules, but he didn’t stand a chance. She was whirling herself around, and being on the heavy side she barely cleared Dr Simons’ short arms. Their dancing seemed to break the formality of the room. Some teachers left the table in little groups to smoke out on the terrace and others started to move around and change seats. I stayed put, watching Jules dance, until, in the corner of my eye, I saw Mr Barclay stand and walk towards my end of the table. I pulled back my shoulders and sat up straight.

“May I?” He asked.

“Yes, of course!”

He turned Jules’s seat slightly towards me with a slight grin and looked over his shoulder to peek at Jules and Dr Simons again.

“It seems Dr Simons has accepted defeat,” he said with a grin as he turned back.

“Smart man, there are some battles that just can’t be won!” I added with a giggle.

“Very true!” he agreed.

“Mr Kemp not joining us this evening?” I dared to ask; intrigued to know why my presence had upset him so.

“Ah, there’s another battle,” he joked as he manoeuvred his neck in a manner that seemed like he was trying to relax himself.

“I heard he was upset this evening, something about me causing an imbalance? What exactly what does that mean?” I asked.

“Mr Kemp, another battle that cannot be won,” he repeated, laughing.

I felt he was going to speak further, but Jules came back from dancing with Dr Simons and he got up immediately and gave her back her chair.

“Excuse me,” he said with a smile and headed back to his chair.

Dessert was now being served and everybody was back in their seats.

I found myself constantly looking at Mr Barclay, and I was afraid that I was going to be caught. I didn’t have an appetite for dessert, which was out of character for me; it was just too hard to not look at him or to enjoy the rest of the evening with other company. I decided to leave.

“Jules, would you think I was rude if I called it a night? It’s been such a long day and I am trying so very hard to stay awake.”

“No, no, not at all. Everyone will understand. I will walk you to your room,” she offered and turned to Dr Simons to excuse herself.

“No, please stay. I will be fine and I’m sure I can remember how to get back. And really no one needs to know that I’m leaving. I’ll go and no-one will notice.” I smiled and without waiting for her reply, I stood up. To my shock, so did the whole table of men!

So much for my inconspicuous exit!

There stood all these men, just because I was leaving the table! It was so English.

“Please sit down. I’m going to call it a night. I can’t keep my eyes open,” I said with a nervous giggle.

I smiled to Jules, who had taken my orders to stay on. I started to walk down the length of the table. I could hear the echoing voices of every gentleman saying “goodnight” as I passed. When I got to the end of the table where Mr Barclay was seated, I waited to hear his voice saying “goodbye”, but nothing came.

I tried to hide my disappointment, when…

“Catherine, I will escort you to your room if that is alright with you?”

“Thank you,” I answered with a smile. Even though my reply was composed and assertive, my heart was beating quite fast; disappointed with my uneasy reaction I tried to concentrate on being normal and not so emotional.

He excused himself to the teachers sitting close by then turned to me and smiled — an indication he was ready to leave. As we walked up the stairs and out of the room, my emotions were confusing. I tried to find some composure in the way I was feeling.

“What do you think of your first day?” he asked with a smile.

His smile was infectious. I turned away slowly and looked forward to answer.

“Entertaining to say the least.”

I looked at him again and he still had that amazing smile, which in turn, forced me to smile even bigger.

“What was your first day like?” I asked of him.

“Also, entertaining.”

“It seems I’m not the only one Mr Kemp didn’t take to straight away?”

“Mr Kemp is a complicated man, he means well but is hard in his ways,” he said with a reassuring grin.

Again, his comments were almost defending Mr Kemp’s behaviour. Our walk was short, which was a disappointment. I have never taken to walking but tonight I would have walked to London with him.

As we got to the bottom of the stairs that led to our rooms, Mr Barclay slowed down to let me go ahead.

“We are very happy that you are here, Catherine,” he whispered with his devilish smile as he turned his face away.

Did he just flirt with me? Did I just dream that? If only I had a replay button so I could be certain…

I smiled timidly in response; words seemed to have escaped me.

“Thank you, that means a lot to me. I am sorry that I have upset Mr Kemp in any way by being here.”

“You belong here, Catherine.”

Mr Barclay lowered his head slightly. He had one arm on the beginning of the balustrade, as did I even though I stood three steps above him. I looked at him, taking in everything I could while he was looking away. When he suddenly looked up at me, our eyes met. We looked at each other for a minute. It felt like his eyes were talking to me at a hundred miles per hour. I really should get a second opinion on that hit on my head.