Bernadette Azizi - Undying

“Yes, very sure.”

“Alright, thank you Catherine. It’s just you look so pretty and smart,” she stated with an insecure voice that I hadn’t heard from her so far.

“I do quite like this pullover. It goes well with my complexion and my skirt is such fun,” she asserted as she grabbed it and waved it around with a big smile.

I couldn’t help but giggle.

“Who else is on our shift?” I enquiry.

“I didn’t check. It’s not important. As long as we are on together,” Jules declared as she led the way to breakfast.

There were so many things that I wanted to know about the school. I just didn’t know where to begin. It was starting to feel so very real. As we sat to have breakfast, I felt the urge to know more to be prepared more, thinking of questions I could ask Jules before we went outside to meet the parents and students, but I couldn’t help but think about James. Whether he was here or when I would see him next.

“Jules, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, anything!”

“Is Mr Barclay married?”

Oh my God. What in God’s name possessed me to ask that question? What is she going to think of me now?

“I mean… all the teachers? They live on the grounds… right? So how do they meet anyone and if they do, then what happens?” I went into damage control but wasn’t sure if it had worked.

“That’s an interesting question. Well, let me think.” She took a sip of her tea and a bite of her toast and continued.

“Right, now most of our teachers are quite old. The majority of them were married and are now either divorced or widowers. There are a few teachers that you haven’t met that are married and don’t live on campus, and there is a small group, like myself, who have just never met the right person and gave up on hoping. So this school is perfect for us.”

She took another drink of her tea, looked around and moved in a little closer.

“And then there is Mr Barclay, who is young, wealthy and handsome and who is not married, to finally answer your original question. Between you and me, I believe he was married.”

“Really?”

“Now, I don’t know for sure, but he has let a couple of remarks slip that would suggest that he has been married before. And the strangest thing of all is that he gives the impression that he still truly loves her. Mr Barclay… well he just doesn’t seem to be interested in anyone. He is a very private man, and quite serious. I know of so many available mothers and… not available at this school alone that have tirelessly tried to get his attention but he gives them nothing, nothing at all. He rarely leaves the college. Now how is someone supposed to find love within these walls?

“Never leaves,” I whispered.

Jules nodded a sympathetic nod.

“Although… I shouldn’t say… there was an incident in London that prevented him from ever going back.”

“What kind of incident?”

“Oh, I don’t know for sure and this is just talk… there are so many different stories that you just have to accept that they are all just stories,” she smiled and continued to have her breakfast.

I awkwardly smiled, picking up my glass of orange juice. I tried so hard not to show my interest in what she had just said.

“It’s very sad,” she added.

And then Jules stared at me with her concerned eyes but too kind to say anything directly to me. However I knew what she was thinking Jules started a conversation with another teacher who sat a few seats away from us. I looked around to see if James was having breakfast. I couldn’t see him.

“It’s time to go!” Jules yelled excitedly.

She got up immediately, smiled at me, as we made our way to the front lawn. It was cold and windy; this climate was going to take some getting used to.

“What a wonderful day!” Jules sang as she smiled at me. Luckily the rain had stopped, but with the grey clouds above it seemed far from a wonderful day. I smiled back nevertheless.

“And there is the answer to your other question,” Jules said and looked behind me. I turned around to see. There was the person on our shift: James. I couldn’t believe my luck and how amazing he looked, yet again. He was wearing dark navy pants and a navy shirt with the top button undone and a jacket.

“We should help him, don’t you think?” Jules asked.

“Help who?” I answered still not looking away from James.

“Mr Barclay. I know he will not be enjoying all that attention.”

“Ha…” I suddenly now noticed everyone around him. “I guess.”

Jules immediately put on her mother hen persona and headed towards them. I couldn’t look. I felt a bit guilty that my motives were completely selfish. I hoped that she wouldn’t embarrass herself or worse, upset James. I still couldn’t look. I was too nervous about seeing his reaction or the reactions of those women when Jules dragged him away.

“Good morning, Catherine.”

“Ha! Um… good morning,” I stuttered.

“Are you alright?” he asked, concerned.

“Yes… Why do you ask?”

“Jules said you were feeling slightly nervous this morning, and that it might be a good idea if I spent some time with you.”

He put his hands in his pockets and grinned at me, obviously thinking that both Jules and I were co-conspirators in this set up. And here I was, feeling sorry for Jules having to save him from those women, and all the while, she had used me as the excuse! Jules was now talking with the women and they didn’t seem to be anywhere near as happy now that James had gone. I looked back at James and smiled. I could feel my cheeks start to redden.

“Thank you, but I am fine. Jules worries too much about me!”

There was a quiet pause. Both James and I were busily smiling to students as they arrived.

“It’s a beautiful college. The grounds are amazing, you must love being here,” I said in an attempt to change the subject.

“Yes, I do. What’s not to love?” he replied.

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked. His hands were in his pockets while he looked straight ahead, his head slightly raised.

“Yes, of course.”

“What made you apply to this school?”

For a second he was expressionless before turning back again.

“Um… I don’t really know. I mean, I love teaching. Regardless of where I am, it’s what I have always wanted to do. I have also wanted to come to the UK for as long as I could remember.”

He turned towards me again and I knew I had his undivided attention, so I continued on.

“One night I was on my computer and started to search for positions available in the UK. This college appealed to me the most; I had a really good feeling about it. Such a good feeling, that I didn’t apply anywhere else but here. So you could imagine how relieved I was when I was accepted.”

I stopped speaking out of embarrassment. The boys that were coming through the entrance were staring at me… in an inappropriate manner. I guess this was what Jules was worried about. James immediately gave the boys a stern look of disapproval.

“You will have to excuse the boys; you’re not the sort of teacher that they’re used to,” he said with a smirk on his face.

“What? I think I will have to leave that comment alone.”

“Thank you,” he quickly replied, relieved.

I turned away slightly flushed and James gave me a concerned look, perhaps noticing my change in behaviour.

”Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

He still seemed to have a look of concern.

Maybe I am irritating him?

“James, there you are, you old devil!” a man’s voice interrupted from behind me.

I turned my head around slightly to see.