Bernadette Azizi - Undying

“Strange! The list I have is a lot different,” he said with a grin.

“You have a list? I asked surprised. He paused for a while and looked around. It seemed to me that he was preparing to let his guard down. And he did.

“Intelligent, sensitive and beautiful,” he proclaimed, as he turned and walked away.

I couldn’t contain my happiness. I tried to keep as calm and collected as possible, but it was too hard.

Could he possibly like me?

Maybe I could tell him something , but not everything .

“You know? When I first saw you, I was taken aback… I felt that I knew you already. But I know that’s not possible.”

The way he was looking at me was having a profound impact on me; I didn’t know what to say anymore. I smiled and stopped talking. I didn’t want to be tempted to say something that I might regret later.

“And…?” he surprisingly said taking a few steps towards me.

His body was within arm’s reach now. I thought quickly. I couldn’t mention my feelings for him, or that I thought that he belonged to me.

“Nothing,” I replied, with regret.

“I really don’t want to add ‘insane’ to that list of yours. I’m doing well so far and I don’t want to ruin it,” I joked.

He seemed expressionless, but at the same time, surprised.

“Do you think this rain will continue through the rest of the day,” I asked, attempting to change the subject.

“Pardon…?”

“The weather…”

“Right… That, I’m afraid, will be hard to predict,” he said cutting me off in mid-sentence.

James returned to his desk, picked up a file and then turned back to me.

“Catherine, here are the forms that you will need to fill out. Medical details, personal information, and we require your signature on a few papers. Please, feel free to sit down and fill them out here. They shouldn’t take long.”

He pointed to a guest chair at his desk and put the file down on the table. Immediately I went and sat down on the chair opening the file to start filling it out.

“May I have a pen please?” I asked.

“Yes of course, my apologies.”

He picked up a gold pen and handed it to me. I started to fill out the paperwork. Every so often I would stop and look up, ever so slightly, to watch him. I did not dare to look for long, desperately wanting to avoid being seen. James was beside the window, looking out, as I had been earlier. But of course, he wasn’t as relaxed as I had been. I could sense tension and frustration again.

Several minutes later, all the forms were completed. I collected them, put them back in order and rose from my chair.

“Well, I have finished. Where would you like them?” I asked as I walked towards him with the forms.

“Oh, I’ll just take them, thank you,” he said as he grabbed them from me. Our hands touched slightly and I could see in his face that he was feeling something.

Right at that moment, the phone rang. James looked at me with his gorgeous eyes for a few moments that felt like an eternity and then slowly stepped back and excused himself to answer it. I smiled back and indicated that I was leaving. I headed for the door and as I turned around to close the door I noticed his eyes were still on me. I shook my head. I was exhausted. My emotions had never taken such a beating like this before. I decided that I would to catch up with Jules. That idea was short-lived. Coming towards me was Mr Kemp. And to make matters worse, he didn’t seem at all pleased. He looked worn-out and untidy. There was a slight chance that he had no interest in me and was heading this way to speak with James, but his body language suggested otherwise. He wanted to talk to me I just knew it.

“Good morning, Mr Kemp,” I said as he finally reached me.

“Huh? Oh, yes. Good morning,” he mumbled, seemingly deep in thought about something else.

“Cathy, I must talk to you… But not here or now… but soon,” he demanded, somewhat nervously.

“It’s Catherine… not Cathy. What is it Mr Kemp?” I casually looked away from him hoping that would be all. His manner was making me feel uneasy.

“Oh, Cathy… Ah, Catherine, I have plenty to say and if you were a smart girl you would want to listen!” he warned. His voice was low and it appeared that he did not want James to hear from his office.

“Catherine, you don’t belong here!”

“What on earth are you talking about, Mr Kemp? I can’t believe you just said that.”

“It’s not your fault that you are here, but it will be if you stay,” he warned grabbing my arm.

“I’m not going anywhere, so leave me alone!” I yelled pulling away from him, unaware of how loud my voice had become. I could hear footsteps coming from James’s office and his door opened abruptly. James looked furious as he gave Mr Kemp a ghastly stare. Mr Kemp still had a hold of my arm.

“Mr Kemp, what is the meaning of this?” James growled, as he opened his door wider. Mr Kemp seemed caught out and erratic in his behaviour, so I moved away from him and stood closer to where James was. He didn’t answer James, just stood there defiantly.

“In my office… now,” James ordered. Mr Kemp headed to in to James’s office but still had the audacity to try to give me an intimidating look.

“Catherine, please stay here, I promise you this won’t take a minute,” he comforted me with his gentle voice. He placed his hand on my arm; I nodded and sat down on a chair just outside his office. My shoulders sank into my body and my face fell into my hands. I was not going to cry. I could not believe how awful Mr Kemp had been to me. I wish I was a lot stronger and didn’t get as emotional as I did.

From the other end of the hallway, I heard footsteps approaching and I panicked. I wiped my stupid tears, as quickly as I could and looked up. It was Jules and from the distressed look on her face, I could tell that she knew I was upset.

“Catherine, what is it?” she prompted me, with her arms open wide.

When she got to me, she was almost in tears herself. Jules grabbed me firmly by my shoulders.

“Catherine, what has happened?” she cried.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” I answered, as I pulled away from her.

All these emotions are sending me mad!

The door opened and James came out, followed by Mr Kemp with his head hanging low.

“You”! You’re the one who has upset Catherine! Why you difficult little man. What did you do?” Jules demanded to know, with one hand waving at Mr Kemp and the other holding onto my arm.

Everyone must feel my arm was for public use .

“Miss Kent, leave it with me. Mr Kemp, please leave. Catherine, may I speak with you in my office?” Again his voice was commanding, yet gentle.

“Jules… I’ll be fine. I will, really… Meet you in the common room, OK?” I whispered to her. I turned away and headed into James’s office without giving Mr Kemp any acknowledgement.

“Catherine, please… don’t be upset. I have spoken to Mr Kemp and warned him to stay away from you,” his soft voice deep with emotion.

“What is the problem? Why does he hate me? I have done nothing to him.

James stood in front of me, upright with his fist clenched, obviously holding back his emotions, and trying to calm himself down. But why did he need to do that? I was the one who had been threatened.

“What have I done?” I repeated, now sitting on one of the chairs in his office.

Surprisingly, James came and crouched down beside me.

“You have done nothing wrong. Mr Kemp will leave you alone, I promise. Please don’t let him upset you.”

“He said me being here was not my fault but if I stay it will be. What’s that suppose to mean?”