Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer - Sex For Dummies

Because I’m not a medical doctor, my first piece of advice if you feel that your penis has an abnormal shape is to go to a urologist to make certain that this curvature doesn’t indicate some problem.

In the vast majority of cases, the curve falls well within the norms of most men, and the concern is just a case of sexual ignorance. In other words, the man doesn’t know that most penises are curved to some extent. Once in a while, a man does have a more pronounced curve than most. Even the majority of these men don’t have a problem in bed, although a few may have to adjust the positions they use. In some cases, however, a man may have Peyronie’s disease , a condition that can make sex impossible (although, rest assured, in most cases the disease goes away on its own after a short while, as I discuss in Chapter 22).

In any case, this problem is mostly in the minds of the men who come to me with concerns about the appearance of their erect penises. Because they believe that their penises look unusual, they are afraid to date. They worry that, when the time comes to undress, their partner will react negatively.

You have one simple way to avoid worrying about how a new partner will react to the shape of your penis, and this applies to the vast majority of other doubts that people have about their sexual abilities: Wait until you have established a strong relationship before you have sex with somebody. I don’t say you have to get married, but you will find the experience of making love much better if you are in love and you integrate sex as an expression of your love rather than as a form of recreation.

So, whether your penis looks like a boomerang or is straight as an arrow, remember that the three little words “I love you” are far more important to your lover than the direction in which your penis points.

Although a man may not understand the inner workings of his penis, outwardly, he is at least on somewhat good terms with that part of his anatomy. But when it comes to testicles, too many men know almost nothing about them.

Be forewarned: By the time you’ve finished with this chapter, you will not only be seeing testicles differently, you’ll also be feeling them in a whole new way.

As a baby boy develops inside his mother’s womb, his testicles are still inside his body (in his abdomen). During the last few months before birth, the testicles poke their way outside, or descend, into the scrotum , a sac of skin located at the base of the penis. Occasionally, one or both of the testicles don’t make the descent.

Some of these undescended testicles are of the hide-and-seek variety, meaning that, during the first year or so, they kind of come and go. As long as they make an occasional appearance, everything will be just fine, and eventually they’ll get up the courage to stay where they belong.

A testicle that remains inside the body (a condition called cryptorchidism ) won’t function properly because the temperature is too warm. A boy who has this problem may also be embarrassed by his appearance. For these reasons, medical intervention is usually called for, which may be a type of hormonal therapy but more likely will involve surgery. This condition also puts men at a higher risk of testicular cancer.

In addition to the testicles’ vital role in the continuation of the species (which I discuss in the following “ Producing sperm” section), men require functioning testicles for the hormones they produce, most importantly testosterone . Testosterone is called the “male hormone,” and that name truly fits. If a boy is born without testosterone, his scrotum forms as the outer lips of a vagina and his penis as something akin to a clitoris.

Despite the fact that a variety of contraceptive methods have allowed people to disconnect sexual intercourse from reproduction, the main purpose of having sex, from an evolutionary point of view, is still to make babies. But, although the penis is required to penetrate the woman’s vagina for the best chance at success, the man needs seeds to place within her to accomplish this important task. These seeds, called spermatozoa (or more often by their nickname, sperm), are manufactured in the testicles.

Sperm are rather amazing little creatures. They are the only parts of the body that do their work outside of it. You see, sperm don’t survive well at high temperatures, particularly the temperature inside our bodies. This is why the testicles lie outside the body where they can be cooled by the soft summer breezes (at least for those of you who favor kilts or loincloths).

For the sperm to be successful at their task of making babies, they have to overcome many obstacles after making a long journey. You may well recognize their final shape — an oval head with a long tail that helps to propel them along — but sperm don’t start out that way (see Figure 2-4).

Illustration by Kathryn Born

FIGURE 2-4:The sperm: independent, a good swimmer, and a heckuva guy.

Early in their life cycles, sperm are called germ cells . (In this case, I think most people would have preferred a nice, long Latin name; but rest assured, these cells have nothing to do with what we commonly associate the word germ.)

Germ cells are produced in the seminiferous tubules , which are long, spaghetti-like tubes that are connected to each other, packed into a tight ball, and surrounded by a tough membrane. This package is called — drumroll, please — a testicle . (Between these tubes are cells that produce the male hormone testosterone.) As the germ cells travel along the tubes, slowly but surely they turn into sperm.

Their metamorphosis complete, the sperm leave the testicle and head for the epididymis on their way to the vas deferens . (Now’s the time to look at Figure 2-5, and be amazed that sperm can find their way without any help from GPS.)

Illustration by Kathryn Born

FIGURE 2-5:The sperm leave the testicle and head for the epididymis and vas deferens.

Now that you’ve had a chance to look at the diagram and can picture in your mind’s eye the journey that the spermatozoa take, I have to tell you about one more important transformation that they make.

All of our cells have the complete code of genetic material, called DNA (the long term is deoxyribonucleic acid, but DNA is much easier to say), unique to each individual. But while the germ cells start out with all of this DNA, along the way they undergo a process called meiosis (pronounced “my- oh -sis”). Here are some of the important effects of meiosis: