Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer - Sex For Dummies

Sex For Dummies®, 4th Edition

Published by: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.,111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774, www.wiley.com

Copyright © 2019 by Ruth K. Westheimer

Published simultaneously in Canada

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2019943021

ISBN 978-1-119-59656-1 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-119-59659-2 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-119-59658-5 (ebk)

1 Cover

2 Introduction Introduction Humans have been having sex since time immemorial, and not much changed as the centuries slid by. Then in the 1960s, the Pill came out, women could easily control whether or not to become pregnant, and the sexual revolution began. Other advancements followed so that today many more women who couldn’t have orgasms are now orgasmic, and many older people, particularly men, can have sex into their 90s. People are talking to each other about their sexual needs, leading to greater satisfaction, but although we’ve made progress, more needs to be done. Millions of young people just beginning their sexual lives need to be taught what to do and how to do it — as safely as possible. There continue to be millions of adults who are still having sex the way cave men and women did in the Stone Age, never having received the message that terrific sex is possible. Dating, that all-important precursor to sex, has changed dramatically. More members of the LGBTQ community can express themselves, but discrimination persists. And finally, many people are still derailed by sexual myths. So although the need for this book has lessened in some ways since it first came out, my job of educating people about good sexual functioning is not yet over. About This Book Foolish Assumptions Icons Used in This Book Beyond the Book Where to Go From Here

3 Part 1: Getting Ready for Sex Chapter 1: So You Want to Know More about Sex What Is Sex, Anyway? So Why Do We Have It? Understanding the Ins and Outs of the Sexual Response Cycle Partnering Up Playing It Safe Adjusting Over Time Are You Ready to Get Busy? Chapter 2: Tuning the Male Organ The Penis: Inside and Out Grasping the Basics of Your Testicles The Prostate Gland Chapter 3: Demystifying the Female Parts Making Time for a Grand Tour Translating All Those Latin Terms The “Men” Words: Menstruation and Menopause Breasts: Hanging in There Chapter 4: Dating Does Anybody Still Date? Where Chemistry and Physics Mingle Giving Romance a Chance to Bloom Overcoming Loneliness and Getting Yourself in Dating Shape A Road Map for the Dating Apps The Thrill of the Chase, the Bummer of Rejection Finding the Right Partner: Difficult, Yes; Impossible, No If You're North of the 29th Parallel Practical Dating Tips for All Ages Should You Have Sex On a First Date? Chapter 5: Introducing Sex into a Relationship Determining When the Time Is Right Safety First Advice for Virgins Advice for Those with Prior Experience Chapter 6: Commitment and Marriage Knowing That Love Isn’t Enough Handling Children and Commitment Putting Your Marriage First Strengthening Your Marriage Chapter 7: It’s All about Control: Contraception and Sex Why Use Contraceptives? Considering Your Birth Control Options Facing Facts about Birth Control Myths If Your Method Fails Chapter 8: Growing Up Fast: The Challenges of the Teen Years Being a Teenager in the 21st Century Evolving into Adulthood Dealing with Common Concerns Protecting Your Privacy Don’t Stop Here

4 Part 2: Doing It Chapter 9: Foreplay: Revving Up Your Engines Foreplay for Life Linking the Emotional to the Physical Setting the Stage Getting Physical Switching Gears: Engaging the Genitals Moving on to the Main Event Variety Is the Spice of Foreplay Chapter 10: Intercourse: Coming Together for the First Time What’s the Rush? Making Your First Time Special The First Time for Women The First Time for Men The First Time All Over Again Chapter 11: Changing Positions: Variations on a Theme The Good Old Missionary Position The Female-Superior Position Taking Her from Behind East Side, West Side, Side by Side Lap Dancing The Oceanic Position Standing Up Oral Sex: Using Your Mouth Anal Sex: Handle with Care Safe Sex: Playing Alone Together Sex During and After Pregnancy: Orgasms Are Okay, with Changes Chapter 12: Going for the Big O What Is an Orgasm, Anyway? Experiencing Orgasms: Differences for Men and Women Achieving Orgasm: Let Me Count the Ways Don’t Try — Let It Come. You’ll Be Glad You Did Putting on Your O-Face: Responding to the Orgasmic Experience The Best Reason to Have an Orgasm Chapter 13: Afterplay: Embracing the Moment Understanding the Importance of Afterplay Sharing the Moment The Simplest of Techniques Chapter 14: Spicing Up Your Sex Life Using Variety to Add Some Va Va Va Voom to Your Sex Life Expanding Your Toy Chest What If You’re Just Never in the Mood?