And I do think, or else this brain of mine
Hunts not the trail of policy so sure
As it hath used to do, that I have found
The very cause of Hamlet’s lunacy.
KING. O, speak of that, that do I long to hear.
POLONIUS. Give first admittance to th’ ambassadors,
My news shall be the fruit to that great feast.
KING. Thyself do grace to them, and bring them in.
Exit Polonius.
He tells me, my dear Gertrude, he hath found
The head and source of all your son’s distemper.
QUEEN. I doubt it is no other but the main,
His father’s death and our o’erhasty marriage.
[65] KING. Well, we shall sift him.
Re-enter Polonius with Voltemand and Cornelius.
Welcome, my good friends!
Say, Voltemand, what from our brother Norway?
VOLTEMAND. Most fair return of greetings and desires.
Upon our first, he sent out to suppress
His nephew’s levies, which to him appeared
To be a preparation ’gainst the Polack,
But, better looked into, he truly found
It was against your Highness; whereat, grieved
That so his sickness, age and impotence
Was falsely borne in hand, sends out arrests
On Fortinbras, which he, in brief, obeys,
Receives rebuke from Norway, and, in fine,
Makes vow before his uncle never more
To give th’ assay of arms against your Majesty:
Whereon old Norway, overcome with joy,
Gives him threescore thousand crowns in annual fee
And his commission to employ those soldiers,
[66] So levied as before, against the Polack,
With an entreaty, herein further shown,
That it might please you to give quiet pass
Through your dominions for this enterprise,
On such regards of safety and allowance
As therein are set down.
[Hands over a paper.]
KING. It likes us well,
And at our more considered time we’ll read,
Answer, and think upon this business;
Meantime, we thank you for your well-took labour.
Go to your rest, at night we’ll feast together.
Most welcome home!
Exeunt Voltemand and Cornelius, and the other Attendants.
POLONIUS. This business is well ended …
My liege and madam, to expostulate
What majesty should be, what duty is,
Why day is day, night night, and time is time,
Were nothing but to waste night, day, and time.
Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,
And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,
I will be brief: your noble son is mad –
Mad call I it, for to define true madness,
What is’t but to be nothing else but mad?
But let that go.
[67] QUEEN. More matter, with less art.
POLONIUS. Madam, I swear I use no art at all …
That he is mad, ’tis true, ’tis true, ’tis pity,
And pity ’tis ’tis true – a foolish figure,
But farewell it, for I will use no art.
Mad let us grant him then, and now remains
That we find out the cause of this effect,
Or rather say, the cause of this defect,
For this effect defective comes by cause:
Thus it remains, and the remainder thus …
Perpend:
Producing a paper.]
I have a daughter, have while she is mine,
Who in her duty and obedience, mark,
Hath given me this; now gather and surmise:
Reads.
“To the celestial, and my soul’s idol, the most beautified
Ophelia” – That’s an ill phrase, a vile phrase, “beautified” is
a vile phrase – but you shall hear. Thus:
Reads.
“In her excellent white bosom, these, etc.” …
QUEEN. Came this from Hamlet to her?
POLONIUS. Good madam, stay awhile, I will be faithful –
Reads.
“Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
[68] Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.
O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers, I have not art to
reckon my groans; but that I love thee best, O most best,
believe it. Adieu.
Thine evermore, most dear lady, whilst this machine 5is
to him,(Hamlet).”
This in obedience hath my daughter shown me,
And, more above, hath his solicitings,
As they fell out by time, by means, and place,
All given to mine ear.
KING. But how hath she
Received his love?
POLONIUS. What do you think of me?
KING. As of a man faithful and honourable.
POLONIUS. I would fain prove so. But what might you think,
When I had seen this hot love on the wing,
As I perceived it (I must tell you that)
Before my daughter told me, what might you
Or my dear Majesty your queen here think,
If I had played the desk or table-book,
Or given my heart a working mute and dumb,
[69] Or looked upon this love with idle sight,
What might you think? No, I went round to work,
And my young mistress thus I did bespeak:
“Lord Hamlet is a prince out of thy star,
This must not be.” And then I prescripts gave her
That she should lock herself from his resort,
Admit no messengers, receive no tokens.
Which done, she took the fruits of my advice,
And he, repellèd, a short tale to make,
Fell into a sadness, then into a fast,
Thence to a watch, thence into a weakness,
Thence to a lightness, and, by this declension,
Into the madness wherein now he raves,
And all we mourn for.
KING. Do you think ’tis this?
QUEEN. It may be, very like.
POLONIUS. Hath there been such a time, I would fain know that,
That I have positively said “’Tis so”,
When it proved otherwise?
KING. Not that I know.
[70] POLONIUS. Take this from this, if this be otherwise;
[Points to his chamberlain’s staff and hand]
If circumstances lead me, I will find
Where truth is hid, though it were hid indeed
Within the Centre.
KING. How may we try it further?
POLONIUS. You know sometimes he walks four hours together
Here in the lobby.
QUEEN. So he does, indeed.
POLONIUS. At such a time I’ll loose my daughter to him.
Be you and I behind an arras then,
Mark the encounter: if he love her not,
And be not from his reason fall’n thereon,
Let me be no assistant for a state,
But keep a farm and carters.
KING. We will try it.
Enter Hamlet into the lobby, reading on a book.
QUEEN. But look where sadly the poor wretch comes reading.
POLONIUS. Away, I do beseech you, both away,
I’ll board him presently, O, give me leave.
Exeunt King and Queen.
How does my good Lord Hamlet?
[71] HAMLET. Well, God-a-mercy.
POLONIUS. Do you know me, my lord?
HAMLET. Excellent well, you are a fishmonger. 6
POLONIUS. Not I, my lord.
HAMLET. Then I would you were so honest a man.
POLONIUS. Honest, my lord?
HAMLET. Ay, sir, to be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand.
POLONIUS. That’s very true, my lord.
HAMLET. For if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog, being a god kissing carrion … have you a daughter?
POLONIUS. I have, my lord.
HAMLET. Let her not walk i’th’ sun. Conception is a blessing, but as your daughter may conceive … friend, look to’t.
[Reads again.]
POLONIUS. [Aside.] How say you by that? Still harping on my daughter, yet he knew me not at first, ’a said I was a fishmonger. ’A is far gone, and, truly, in my youth I suffered much extremity for love, very near this … I’ll speak to him again. – What do you read, my lord?
HAMLET. Words, words, words.
POLONIUS. What is the matter, my lord?
[72] HAMLET. Between who?
POLONIUS. I mean the matter that you read, my lord.
HAMLET. Slanders, sir; for the satirical rogue says here that old men have grey beards, that their faces are wrinkled, their eyes purging thick amber and plumtree gum, and that they have a plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams; all which, sir, though I most powerfully and potently believe, yet I hold it not honesty to have it thus set down, for yourself, sir, shall grow old as I am … if, like a crab, you could go backward.
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