StaVl Zosimov Premudroslovsky - TSIKU. Choonadi choseketsa

– Chifukwa chiyani? – Adafunsa anga.

– Chifukwa, chiyani?! Wolemba pa beep (bulu). Gawo lonse likadali kutuluka … – Harya adakali chete makapu ndipo Ostap adavutika. -Ndipo panali nthabwala. Mukudziwa?

– Bwerani, bwerani, bwino! – othandizira anga.

– Chozizwitsa m’modzi kuchimbudzi cha shit. Kuchokera kumizere yakum’mawa, adatola kansalu kosasunthika ndikusesa soseji yakuda yomwe imawoneka ngati kabichi ka amuna, theka lamtunda. Ndipo aliyense amayenda, ndikuwoneka ndipo sindikumvetsa kuti ndi ndani yemwe ali ndi gawo lalitali kwambiri loti sangathe kuyiwala, ndipo anaziyimiritsa. Kwa nthawi yayitali adayimirira pomwepo ndikusangalatsa alendo onse. Mwachidule, pali chinyumba chimodzi ndipo palibe chochita kumeneko. Ndiuzeni zabwinoko, muli bwanji ku St. Petersburg kapena ku Moscow?!

Tinayang’anani wina ndi mzake, ndikumwetulira.

– akuti chiyani!? – Wanga anati, kukula kwa thupi: zana limodzi makumi awiri ndi makumi asanu – zana mphambu makumi awiri. – Monga kulikonse: lero ndi poto, ndipo mawa lapita.

– Inde palinso nthabwala pamenepo. – Ndinamugwedeza makina-osinthanitsa, ndiye kuti, ine, ndikuthira chikapu china. – Anecdote kumvetsera bwino. Zikutanthauza kuti womata ndi mitengo ikulimbana ndi zomwe zilipo, ndipo khwangwala amasuta zopanda pake poyang’ana mtengo ndikuyang’ana kuzunzidwa kovuta kwa beaver. Akasambira, akusambira, amawona, khwangwala amakhala pansi ndipo amasaka. “Patsani, – akuganiza, – Ndidzapuma” ndikumufunsa: – Kodi akutani, muli ndi tsitsi. ndipo iye: – Me? – khwangwala wamafuta. – Ndimasuta bamboo,.. Uuuuiii!!! … Huuuuu.

Beaver: – Ndiye? Khe, hr.. – beaver adachoka ku utsi womwe ukubwera.

Khwangwala: – kuthamanga.., kusangalala chilichonse.., ndipo ndikufuna kukhala ndi moyo… Ahhahaha!!!

Beaver: – Ndipo kusuta china chake?

Khwangwala: – Inde, koka ndikugwira, gwiritsani mpaka mutachokapo.. Mukufuna?

Beaver: – Ndipo bwanji, bwerani?!

Ndipo khwangwala adawombera phala lalitali, ngati utsi waku Sitima. Beaver adaimeza ndikuigwira ndikuzama. Thupi lothamanga kwambiri litalowa pang’ono kumbuyo kwake, ndipo linayamba kumira pansi, kusiya chipika ndi kuyendetsa miyendo yake. Wokongoletsa nyama anali ndi chidwi chofuna chidwi chambiri pomwe nsomba zimasambira ndikumuwongolera m’njira yomwe adanyamula. Ndi momwe iye sanazindikire masomphenya ndi kukongola koteroko. Kwa nthawi yoyamba m’moyo wake, adadzipereka kumtsinje ndi chilengedwe.

Nthawi yomweyo, kuzungulira bend, Behemoth amakhala m’mphepete mwa mtsinjewu ndikufafaniza zovala zake zamkati. Amawona munthu wofikirira akutuluka ndikutulutsa utsi.

Mvuu: – Kodi ndinu opatsa mkaka? – Mvuu idadabwa. – chipikacho chinali pamenepo, koma tsopano, ngati chovala chosamba, mumatulukira?

Beaver: – Pamenepo! Pamenepo!!! Kuzungulira khwangwala, bamboo amasuta!!!

Mvuu: – Kuti?

Beaver: – kumeneko!!!!! – Kutengedwa ndi zamakono, wokongoletsayo adati.

Mvuu idachita chidwi ndipo idasiya ntchito yake, idalowa m’madzi.

Khwangwala amakhala, amasuta bamboo ndi ma flutters atakhala. Mwadzidzidzi, mvuu ikutuluka patsogolo pa mulomo wake. Ndipo khwangwala woukira, pomwepo, adakutumula mapiko ake, natsegula maso ake, ngati chule ndi kufuula pakhosi lake lonse..

Khwangwala: – Beaver, exhale!!! Zachilengedwe, zidaphulika?!!!

Ndidabereka Negro Ivanov. Kunama, zikutanthauza kuti amaponyedwa miyala ndipo amayang’anitsitsa dokotala yemwe adabereka kuyambira kuphazi mpaka pachifuwa. Ndipo akudziwa nkhaniyi, amamuzungulira ndikumayendetsa ndodo yozungulira. Zimapangitsa kukhala bwino kupaka thupi la wakhandalo ndi ufa ndi chlorine. Ndipo sasintha kukhala woyera.

– Mdaaaa!! – pakulanda apulo wa Adamu, dotolo wachikulire anatuluka. – Iwe, mayi wachichepere, mwana. Ndi chilema pakhungu lakhungu.

Akutula mutu, kuyambira phewa kumapewa, kumanzere:

– , oh, ah, ah! – Madame Madame Ivanova atagwidwa, ataponyedwa miyala ndi morphine wakuchipatala. -Doctor, oh dokotala wokondedwa! – Ndikupemphera mwa Khristu, mwabwera ndi china chake? Ouch… Ouch! Osamuuza amuna ako?! Ndiwofatsa. Zotani, ndipo ndinapita ku Papua New Guinea ndekha.., Oaya, kuti ndilembere mutu, Wow., Zokhudza magulu am’deralo., Inde!! O, tonde, tambiri ndikulira!! Chidutswa cha mowers ($ 1000), apo ayi sangatetezedwe, wakupha wakhumi komanso wapamwamba kwambiri, amatha kupha mphukira wanga ndi inu, mwina ine.

– Ndipo ndikuyenera kuchita nazo? – adadabwitsa dotolo.

– Mgwireni, zilowerere, momwe mungamwerere!!

– Madam, khalani chete, muyenera kukupulumutsani, muli ndi zotupa pansi pa msomali ndipo pamwamba pa mawondo… Mdaaa.. China chomwe tikambirana zasayansi. Lena! Helen! – Adatcha wophunzira waung’ono, sukulu yakachipatala yakudziko., Dzina lake Dandelion.

Dandelion Lena, akumalimbitsa bulu wake ndikumacheza naye mozungulira, adatsamira adotolo.

– Inde, a Putin Donald Trump. Ndili wokonzeka…

– Ndipo ndichifukwa chiyani uli ndi dzina Dandelion?

– Ndipo, Hehehe. – wokutidwa ndi kanjedza mphuno yake yayitali mphotho yofiira, yomwe idangolipira ndalama zokhazo, koma imawoneka ngati namwali. -by mtundu ndidapezeka kabichi ndipo ndine wokondwa.

Dokotala adamuyang’ana iye, osatakakwinya, wowonda, ndipo, ndikukulitsa maso ake, adadzazidwa ndi mpweya wonunkhira, ndikupukutira eyelashes.

– Wow, mukuba, mupita kuchipinda chadzidzidzi, afunseni a Mr. Ivanov. Mudzamuwuza akadzayankha kuti kubadwa kunachitika mwanjira yofananira, koma chifukwa cha kusintha, majini sanasinthe, ndipo mwana wakuda amabadwa. Kodi mumamvetsetsa?

– Inde, a Comrade Putin Donald Trump. – ndipo namwinoyo modzikuza adasowanso khomo. Zimapezeka m’chipinda chadzidzidzi ndikuti:

– Moni, ndipo Mr. Vasil Ivanov ndi ndani?

Amadzuka ndikuyankha mokweza:

– Ine!!!!

Amamuyang’ana kumtunda ndi kumbuyo, akukweza khosi lake mpaka m’malire, minofu yake yayikulu, makamaka kuzungulira mapewa ndi khosi ndikuchita mantha, natsegula maso, pakamwa ndi mphuno mwamantha. Pambuyo pake adachokapo ndikubwerera kukawoneka dotolo.

– Ine, a Comrade Putin Donald Trump, ndili ndi mantha. Iye ndi wamkulu kwambiri, wamphamvu komanso wosalankhula. – Ndi kulira misozi yowawa. Dotoloyo adatenga kakhalidwe ka chovala chake ndikukupukuta m’maso mwake, ndikusisita misozi ngati yowoneka ngati tsitsi kumaso kwake, ngati dona woyeretsa wapukuta wazaka zenera. Monga chitsimikizo cha izi, amapumira mkamwa mwake, ndikuthamangitsa ntchentche ndikuyesera kupitiriza grater, koma Lenochka, atadziponya yekha, adathamangira kuchipinda chamankhwala ndipo atatseka mkati, adagona pakama. Ngati nkhumba zake sizinamveke m’khonde, ndiye kuti anzako omwe akudwala akanakhala kuti adasokoneza chitseko, akufuna adziyeretsa.

Thupi la Ivanov linaoneka bwino kwambiri pakati pa omwe ankayembekezeredwa, makamaka poganizira kuti anali yekhayekha, osawerengetsa tambala wakale, yemwe amaluma ngodya ya linoleum pansi pa mpando wotsatira, akung’ung’udza modekha. Adotolo, atakhumudwa ndi kuchuluka kwa zomwe ankayembekezera, anakangana. Ndimaganiza kuti mosazindikira adzagwera pansi pa dzanja lotentha ndikukwapula chingwe kumaso, kuthamangira kuchipinda chodikirira.

– Chochita, chochita? – Adasungunuka ndikupumira ku ofesi yake. -Vo!!! – Anayigwetsera pansi, ndipo iye ananyamula foni kuchokera mchifuwa mwake, kuyimba nambala ya foni yopulumutsa. – Ole, ole… Merkel?.. Ndine, Putin Donald Trump. Mverani mnzake, kodi muli ndi wodwala pakali pano?

Theresa Merkel May, anali wophunzira mnzake ndipo amagwira ntchito ku detox yakuchipatala.

– Pali.. ndipo chiyani? – adafunsa Theresa Merkel May,

– Mutumizireni kwa ine kuti adzalenge m’bale wanga. Kenako ndimalipira.

Panthawiyi, ndidagona pabedi lolimba ndikukonzekera kutuluka. Kunena zowona, ndinakumbukira momwe adanditengera kumalo ophunzitsira chidwi, koma ndinali ndikupanga kale kakhoma. Patatha mphindi makumi awiri ndidapita kuchipatala, osadziwa ndekha. Inemwini ndinawoneka wonenepa kuyambira kubadwa, munthawi yomweyo – opanda nyumba (ana obadwa ndi moyo wapadziko lapansi). Maso anga anali akunjenjemera ngati chule. Zingwe ziwiri zaimvi zimamera kumanja ndi mphuno. Kuchokera m’mano ndinali ndimatumba awiri okha owola ndi mizu inayi. Apulo a Adamu a Adamu atagundika kwambiri m’khosi mwake, otsalawo ankawoneka osavuta: mafupa anga anali ndi chikwama chachikopa ndipo mafupa osasenda amalimbitsa mawonekedwe a thupi langa.