Sophie Kinsella - I've Got Your Number

Hi, Lindsay,

I want to give you something in my office. Something you’ll like.

Stop by tomorrow. Anytime.

Sam xxxxx

I press send without rereading it and take a swig of cosmo. For about twenty seconds I’m relaxed, savoring my drink, wondering when the canapés will start to arrive. Then, as though an alarm clock has gone off, I start.

Wait. I put kisses after Sam’s name. I shouldn’t have done that. People don’t put kisses on professional emails.

Shit. I retrieve the email and reread it, wincing. I’m so used to kisses, they popped out automatically. But Sam never puts kisses. Ever.

Should I somehow try to un send the kisses?

Dear Lindsay, just to clarify, I did not mean to add kisses

No. Awful. I’ll have to leave it. I’m probably overreacting, anyway. She probably won’t even notice—

Oh God. An email reply has already arrived from Lindsay. That was quick. I click it open and stare at the message.

See you then, Sam.

Lindsay xx ;)

Two kisses and a winky face. Is that normal?

I stare at it for a few moments, trying to convince myself that it is.

Yes. Yes, I think that’s normal. It could definitely be normal. Simply friendly office correspondence.

I put my phone away, drain my drink, and look around for another. There’s a waitress standing a few yards away, and I start to thread my way through the crowds.

“ … policy Sam Roxton’s idea?” A man’s voice attracts my attention. “Fucking ludicrous. ”

“You know Sam … ”

I stop dead, pretending to fiddle with my phone. A group of men in suits has paused nearby. They’re all younger than Sam and very well dressed. They must be his colleagues.

I wonder if I can match the faces to the emails. I bet that one with the olive skin is Justin Cole, who sent the round robin telling everyone that casual dressing on Fridays was compulsory and could everyone please do it with style ? He looks like the fashion police, in his black suit and skinny tie.

“Is he here?” says a blond guy.

“Haven’t seen him,” replies the olive-skinned man, draining a shot glass. 66“Stubborn fuck.”

My head jerks in surprise. Well, that’s not very nice.

My phone bleeps with a text and I click on it, grateful to have something to occupy my fingers. Ruby has sent me a photo of some brown hair, with the message:

Is this a toupee???

I can’t suppress a snort of laughter. Somehow she’s managed to snap a photo of her date’s head from behind. How did she manage that? Didn’t he notice?

I squint at the picture. It looks like normal hair to me. I’ve no idea why Ruby’s so obsessed by toupees, anyway. Just because of that one disastrous blind date she had last year, where the guy turned out to be fifty-nine, not thirty-nine. 67

Don’t think so. Looks fine! xxxxxx

As I look up, the men who were talking have moved away into the crowd. Damn. I was quite intrigued by that conversation.

I take another cosmo and a few delicious pieces of sushi (already this evening would have cost me about fifty quid if I was paying for it) and am about to head over toward the jazz band when I hear the screechy sound of a microphone being turned on. I swivel round—and it’s only about five feet away on a small podium, which I hadn’t noticed. A blond girl in a black trouser suit taps the microphone and says, ‘Ladies and gentlemen. May I have your attention please?’ After a moment, she says more loudly, ‘People! It’s time for the speeches! The quicker we start, the quicker they’re over, OK?”

There’s a general laugh and the crowd starts to move toward this end of the room. I’m being pushed straight toward the podium, which is really not where I want to be—but I don’t have much choice.

“So, here we are!” The blond woman spreads her arms. “Welcome to this celebration of the merger of ourselves, Johnson Ellison, and the wonderful Greene Retail. This is a marriage of hearts and minds as much as companies, and we have many, many people to thank. Our managing director, Patrick Gowan, showed the initial vision which led to us standing here now. Patrick, get up here!”

A bearded guy in a pale suit walks onto the podium, smiling modestly and shaking his head, and everyone starts clapping, including me.

“Keith Burnley—what can I say? He’s been an inspiration to us all, the blonde continues.”

The trouble with standing right at the front of the crowd is that you feel really conspicuous. I’m trying to listen attentively and look interested, but none of these names mean anything to me. Maybe I should have done some homework. I surreptitiously get my phone out and wonder if I can discreetly find the email about the merger.

“And I know he’s here somewhere … ” She’s looking around, shading her eyes. “He tried to wriggle out of coming tonight, but we had to have the man himself, Mr. White Globe Consulting, Mr. Sam Roxton!”

My head jerks up in shock. No. That can’t be right, he can’t be—

Fuck.

Fresh applause breaks out as Sam strides onto the podium, wearing a dark suit and a slight frown. I’m so stunned I can’t even move. He was in Germany. He wasn’t coming tonight. What’s he doing here?

From the way his face jolts in surprise as he sees me, I guess he’s wondering the same thing.

I am so busted. Why did I think I could get away with gate-crashing a big posh party like this?

My face is flaming with embarrassment. I quickly try to back away, but the mass of people pressing behind me is too heavy, so I’m stuck, staring mutely up at him.

“When Sam’s in the room, you know things will reach resolution,” the blond woman is saying. “Whether it’s the resolution you want … eh, Charles?” There’s a roar of laughter around the room, and I hastily join in with fake gusto. Clearly this is a massive in-joke, which I would know about if I weren’t a gate-crasher.

The guy next to me turns and exclaims, “She’s a bit near the knuckle there!” and I find myself replying, “I know, I know!” and giving another huge phony laugh.

“Which brings me to another key player … ”

As I lift my eyes, Sam is looking nowhere near me, thank God. This is excruciating enough as it is.

“Let’s hear it for Jessica Garnett!”

As a girl in red steps onto the podium, Sam takes his phone out of his pocket and unobtrusively taps at it. A moment later a text bleeps in my phone.

Why were you laughing?

I feel a stab of mortification. He must know I was just trying to blend in. He’s deliberately winding me up. Well, I’m not going to rise.

It was a good joke.

I watch as Sam checks his phone again. His face twitches only the tiniest bit, but I know he got it. He types again briefly—then a moment later my phone bleeps again.

I didn’t know your name was on my invitation.

I glance up in trepidation, trying to gauge his expression, but again he’s looking in the other direction, his face impassive. I think for a moment, then type:

Just stopped by to collect your goody bag for you. All part of the service. No need to thank me.

And my cocktails, I see.

Now he’s looking right at my cosmo. He raises his eyebrows and I suppress an urge to giggle.

I was going to put them in a hip flask for you. Obviously.

Obviously. Although mine’s a Manhattan.

Ah, well, now I know. I’ll chuck all those tequila shots I had saved up.

As he clocks this last message, Sam looks up from his phone and flashes me that sudden smile. Without meaning to, I find myself beaming back and even catch my breath a little. It really does something to me, that smile of his. It’s disconcerting. It’s …