H. Adler - Panorama

Josef wants to take the cigarettes to Dr. Horn, but he’s detained in the main office, where Fräulein Grenadier wants to introduce him to a delicate-boned person named Fräulein Maus, who greets him with a smile as she chirps, “I already know you!” Josef can’t recall having met her. She explains that they took a couple of walks together near Wartensee am Roll, but Josef assures her, “I have never been in Wartensee am Roll.” Fräulein Maus insists nonetheless, “We had a lovely time there. It was a couple of years ago. Don’t you remember?” There’s nothing to remember, as Josef learns that Fräulein Grenadier works with Fräulein Maus on preparing correspondence, the latter also working on the courses, meaning that she handles the entry fees for the courses that are scheduled for the afternoons and evenings at the Cultural Center, Fräulein Maus trilling in her jubilant voice, “Yes, I do the courses! That way there’s the least hassle.” Fräulein Grenadier then introduces Josef to a platinum-blond girl, Fräulein Weinstock, who mostly helps Herr Klinger, though she helps everyone, as Herr Klinger then shows up and looks sharply at Josef and says, “Good day, and welcome. Congratulations on your debut, given how you handled the Krönert case. Lawetzer is really impressed with you!” Then Herr Saybusch shows up, a tall young man who is an apprentice baker, which is why Herr Schrimpl usually sends him to buy cake, though that’s not Saybusch’s main duty, for he draws posters, signs, announcements, and also designs the flyers that the Cultural Center distributes. All of these are from the hand of Herr Saybusch, who normally draws upstairs in a classroom, he being deeply envied, for there he is out of eyeshot of Rumpler, though in the late afternoon, when all the classrooms are occupied, Saybusch has to work in the main office.

After a little while another man shows up, quite short, full of quick movements and with a good-natured demeanor, his name Ignaz, the factotum of the Cultural Center and somewhat hard of hearing. Fräulein Grenadier tells of how once Gerhart Hauptmann had given a talk, a good three years ago now, and for which they used the cinema, because the large auditorium was not large enough since they had to hand out a lot of free tickets, Ignaz helping out that evening as an usher, the Health Minister showing up, who is also hard of hearing, another usher having led him to the loge, where the Minister took his seat, though it wasn’t long after that Ignaz believed someone had sneaked past him who didn’t belong in the loge, and so he asked where the Minister’s ticket was, the Minister understanding not a word, and Ignaz having to yell, until finally the powerful figure began looking in all of his pockets, but to no avail, such that Ignaz became angry about the alleged swindler and lost patience with his inability to produce a ticket, Ignaz calling from the aisle, what audacity, to sit in the loge without a ticket, the Minister standing there embarrassed, when luckily Herr Klinger arrived and led the Minister back into the loge, though Ignaz soon avidly observed such shamelessness and ran into the loge, asking what the man thought he was doing, this was not the place to be without a ticket, this was a prime seat, at which Ignaz grabbed the Minister by the arm and began to drag him out. The Minister then ceased taking it all in good humor and angrily wished to leave, himself already at the exit, but there stood the Professor and Dr. Horn in tails, looking like two excited head waiters ready to greet the illustrious guests, the Minister’s punctuality having caught their attention, he now angrily wanting to leave, but the Professor stops him, saying Herr Minister this, Herr Minister that, what a terrible misunderstanding, that’s unforgivable, who did this, Herr Minister? I will fire the scoundrel on the spot, dash it all, to think of throwing out my dear Minister, but of course the Herr Minister cannot be insulted so, who is it that has done this? Then the Minister begins to laugh, it all really doesn’t matter, and the man should not be let go, but he really no longer has any interest in hearing Gerhart Hauptmann. At this the Professor expresses doubt, saying Gerhart, my Gerhart, you can’t do this to my Gerhart, Herr Minister. That would be a shame, Herr Minister, it’s such an honor to have two such well-read, humane intellectuals under the roof of the Cultural Center, the Herr Minister should indeed stay and after the lecture grace with his presence the modest reception that will take place in the apartment of the director of the Cultural Center, dash it all, destitute democracy needs it. So you see, a colossal debacle, and we nearly died laughing, and then the Minister said, good, he would stay because it was Hauptmann, but the servant at fault should not be punished, but the Professor explained, forgive me, Your Excellence, but a man who doesn’t recognize a minister has to atone for what he’s done, it’s an abomination to throw out such a minister, a crime against humanity, and in a house of culture no less, but Gerhart will be pleased to make the acquaintance of the Minister. The Minister makes him promise that the guilty party will not be punished, at which Rumpler yells that the scoundrel belongs on the gallows, but Your Excellence is very magnanimous, that is the true spirit of humanity, not to hang either the mighty scoundrel or the meek, indeed, one can’t help but note, a son of the followers of Comenius, much like Goethe and Herder wrapped together. The Professor then led the Minister back into the loge and said he hoped he enjoyed the lecture, after which he called Ignaz over and tried to make it clear to him what crime he had committed, to which Ignaz turned completely red and embarrassed as he stammered that he could do nothing about it, the man didn’t have a ticket, Ignaz was only doing his job by checking tickets, though Herr Klinger and Herr Krupka’s predecessor dragged Ignaz over to the loge, making him knock on the door, and, because the hard-of-hearing Minister didn’t hear, Herr Klinger opened the door and shoved Ignaz into the loge, at which he bowed to the Minister, properly clicking his heels, and said, Herr Minister, my apologies, but it is difficult, I have to check the tickets, otherwise anyone can get in, and I don’t take any bribes. The Minister laughed and wanted to give Ignaz a tip, but he just strongly waved his left arm as he always does when he doesn’t want something, the Minister having to pocket his tip once again, though Ignaz returned proudly pleased, even if a bit upset.

Everyone listens to the story with pleasure, the telephone ringing often as it is told, normally Fräulein Maus picking up and having to talk with Frau Lawetzer. Ignaz draws closer and closer to Fräulein Grenadier in order to better hear, he getting upset, as if the story had happened just yesterday, as at the end he calls out, “Herr Klinger, wasn’t I right? Anyone could have come along and said, sorry, I’m the Minister, and then taken the best seats! He certainly had no badge that said that he was the Minster. And he didn’t have a ticket.” Ignaz is red in the face and continues to wave his arm as he had at the Minister. Ignaz is not easily calmed down, Klinger and Schrimpl patting him on the shoulder again and again to appease him, while in the middle of this conversation and laughter Dr. Horn comes in from the Secretary’s office and says that everyone is certainly having a lovely conversation, as if there were nothing more to do today, at which they all go to their desks or disappear, only Klinger not worrying about Horn, as Josef stands there embarrassed, but then gathers himself and asks whether he might speak with Dr. Horn, who agrees to do so. They head into his little room, where Josef hands him the cigarette from Fräulein Auer. “You have saved me, Dr. Kramer. Tell me, do you know how to work an epidiascope?” Josef doesn’t even know what an epidiascope is, at which Horn shakes his head in exasperation and states that it appears that Josef doesn’t know how to do anything, who knows what young people today are capable of at all. Horn has been thinking what he is supposed to do with Josef, for certainly one can’t just stand around talking at the Cultural Center, Professor Rumpler having too many do-nothings in the building already, while the others at least get something done, but now the Professor has his doubts about Dr. Kramer, he can’t afford to have any disruptive characters about, those with positive strengths, yes, but no nihilists, like those who seem to be stirring up things everywhere and who want to completely tear asunder the already vulnerable order of things. That’s what one might call a doctor of philosophy who lets himself listen to stupid anecdotes about Ignaz in the office, taking in a bunch of chatter, as well as a bunch of gossip, not one word of which is true, or earlier lolling around with Fräulain Auer on his first day, for whom he got three cigarettes, it all calls for a second look. His love life or whatever it is should not be bandied about at the Cultural Center, there are other places for that, for here there is work to accomplish, not just adventures, no matter what kind, to which end Dr. Horn warmly recommends to the hopeful philosopher not to start gabbing with old Lawetzer, as well as with grumpy old Puttrich or with any of the employees, for the interests of the Cultural Center must be kept in mind above all, and not the people who visit it, whether they be paying guests or supplicants of all sorts, who indeed would like to pay something, including those wanting to emigrate from Germany, as they are certainly hard to put up with, but what can one do with them? Here there are only two alternatives, either to work for and with Professor Rumpler wholeheartedly or to disappear immediately.