H. Adler - Panorama

Then suddenly Rumpler turns calmly toward the man, who doesn’t know what’s happened, and sheepishly gives him his money back. “What is your name, my dear sir?” The man stammers, “My … my name is Krönert.”—“Herr Krönert, indeed, how nice, for I always wanted to meet you. We know each other, don’t we? Dash it all, Krönert, Krönert, help me now, Herr Krönert, help me! Perhaps if you told me your occupation …”—“I work at the Central Agency for Agricultural Loans.”—“Of course, Krönert from the Central Agency! My good friend Zenkl works there, isn’t that true?”—“Zenkl, yes Zenkl is the director.”—“I’m very close with him, Herr Krönert, please pass on my greetings, for he is my best friend, a splendid man that Zenkl, so noble, cultivated! No surprise that he surrounds himself with men like you, Herr Krönert! You look a lot like him. If you’ll allow me, I’ll put in a good word with Zenkl for you, for of course you deserve a promotion, a good one. You’re interested in agriculture, was your father perhaps an agrarian?”—“No, my father was a civil servant in the Justice Department. My grandfather ran a small farm.”—“Of course, your grandfather, that’s right Herr Krönert, not your father, who of course had an important job working for the courts, indeed, an outstanding career! Are you at all interested in the law?”—“Not really.”—“It doesn’t matter, my friend, not all of us can be judges and lawyers! There have to be other professions and hobbies. Certainly you have hobbies — reading, perhaps? Music? Composing your own?”—“My hobby is raising canaries.”—“Terrific, Herr Krönert, it suits you well! Have you ever spoken on the radio about it? No, really not? We really need something about raising canaries, interest in it continues to rise, top prices paid, it’ll draw! You should make a note, we have an open spot next month that we could move you into, a talk about canaries!”—“I’ve never spoken on the radio.”—“No backing down, my dear sir! Rumpler won’t stand for it! You have a wonderful voice for the microphone! A terrific timbre! No, it’s true indeed, very musical, much like the canary, those little cheepers! Am I not right, Fräulein Grenadier? We’ll do up a contract in a jiffy? Make a note of it, Herr Schrimpl, a contract for Herr Krönert, with the usual honorarium! Thank you, Herr Krönert, how nice of you to do it! I’ll make sure to listen in when you’re on. I don’t have any time, but I’ll listen in!”—“Thank you, Herr Director. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such kindness.” Then the Professor embraces Herr Krönert and says, “My dear friend, dash it all, I’m the one who is in your debt! Canary-raising is something that needs to be supported! We’ve never had a lecture on that. I thank you deeply, it was a pleasure, it’s all settled, and didn’t you want tickets for the cinema?”—“Yes, Herr Director.”—“A wonderful film, excellent, you’ll laugh until your sides split.”—“It’s actually a tragic film, Herr Director.”—“Doesn’t matter, my dear sir, a wonderful film, gripping, I wept openly! Fräulein Auer, please give Herr Krönert free passes, loge seats, indeed as many as he wants, and so goodbye, it was a pleasure, it’s all settled!”

After Rumpler says goodbye to Krönert, some of the employees want to speak to the Professor, but he insists that there be no more, for he can’t keep track of his own head, no one helps him, he has to be off, an important call, the radio, a pressing meeting. “Puttrich, a taxi, but hurry! I’ll be back soon, no one leave, we’ll have a staff meeting, very important, the young doctor should also hang about! I had a call from the Education Minister about our subvention. Tomorrow the commission meets. Everything has to be prepared tonight, so we’ll need every typewriter to be free, no writing radio plays for now, just reports, reports! There won’t be any staff meeting tomorrow, since I have to be at the Ministry!” Rumpler wants his coat, hat, and cane from Michel, who says, “But there are still three men waiting and a woman. They all have appointments and have been waiting for a while. They’ve been here a couple of times before already. Please, they can’t wait any longer.”

“Be quiet, Michel, I have to go! Dash it all, I can’t be in two places at once! I don’t know anything, no one tells me anything, I also have to wait on the Ministry, but Professor Rumpler is always supposed to have time for everyone. Michel, tell those people to come back tomorrow, next week, but not today, I’m sorry, but let me see the list. Frau Butterwegh, Schrimpl, who is Frau Butterwegh? Do I know her? Can she do something for us? Does she need something? Has she been here before?” Schrimpl replies, “Herr Professor, that’s the one who is always here. Once every three months she sings. On the recommendation of Deputy Assistant Under-Secretary Kratochvil.”—“Kratochvil, Kratochvil, somewhat important, that’s good. Schrimpl, speak with Frau Butterwegh, give her something, ten minutes, fifteen minutes, that’s too much, agreed. Next, Klebinder. Who is Klebinder? Don’t I know a Klebinder, let me see, who is Klebinder?” No one knows. “Someone get Dr. Horn!” He’s dragged in, having been busy with a visitor. “Why weren’t you there when we called for you, Dr. Horn?”—“Herr Professor, I have someone inside, very important, a good lecture. It will draw well!”—“Nonsense, my little Horn, nothing will draw, it can wait, throw him out! Visiting hours are over. Report to the staff meeting, please make a note, Horn, this Klebinder, who is Klebinder? Who can he be?”—“Klebinder? Is that someone who once rented the hall? I believe we once had someone rent the hall who was named Klebinder. Krupka would know. Fräulein Auer, tell Krupka to come!” Fräulein Auer gets him, and the Profesor says, “Now, Krupka, I always have to check with you. Do you know this Klebinder? Klebinder?” Krupka asks in return, “Who is Klebinder?”—“Dash it all, Klebinder! Klebinder is Klebinder. Who can he be?”—“How should I know, Herr Professor?” Dr. Horn then says, “Herr Krupka, didn’t we once have a Klebinder? A Klebinder rented the hall?”—“That could be. I’ll have to check.”—“Could be! Dash it all, Herr Krupka, if you could just keep something straight in your head for once! The new young doctor should help out in the business office. Look up Klebinder, report on Klebinder in the staff meeting, make a note of it, that’s that! What else is there Michel?”—“Excuse me, but you have the list in your hand.”—“Ah, I see, but why doesn’t anyone help me. Here it says Kruczkewicz. You could break your teeth on that. Kruczkewicz?” Schrimpl chimes in, “He’s a troublemaker, Herr Professor, he always wants to get on the radio. He’s terrible and boring.” But then Dr. Horn adds, “We have to take him. You know why already, Herr Professor.” Horn whispers something into his ear, and Rumpler replies, “What a pain, arrange something with him, I can’t even say the name. Let me know what happens, but not today, it can wait. What else? Kummerhackl, everything starts with ‘K’ today! Who is Kummerhackl? Oh yes, he has written a book. My dear Horn, I gave you a copy, you should report on it. Is it any good? Can he do something for us?”—“I gave you a report. You urged me to get it to you last week. It’s on your desk in the topmost folder. Recommended by the Railway Ministry.”—“My dear Horn, you shouldn’t smoke so much. Dash it all, in the topmost folder! How often have I said to place it in my hands! Look for it, for I’ve not seen a thing, or do up a new report, and fast! Didn’t I tell you that Kummerhackl was recommended by important people? You yourself said the railway. Talk to him, my dear Horn, I’ve got too much to handle, remind me what the book is about, I want to read it, but when, I don’t know, I haven’t any time! I’d very much like to have Kummerhackl.…”