Sharon Perkins - Dad's Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies

In the not-so-distant past, men were removed from the processes of pregnancy, labor and delivery, and even most aspects of raising children. On TV, fathers have long been portrayed as bumbling, emotionally distant fools incapable of changing diapers, getting kids to go to bed, or handling any of the routine tasks that mothers seem to do with ease. In reality, today’s dad is confident, capable, and totally in love with his children — and not afraid to let it show. Not that it all comes easily and naturally. Learning how to support your pregnant partner and, subsequently, to care for a newborn takes time, effort, and education.

Most men in the world become fathers at some point, and most enter the experience without much knowledge of how babies develop, how to be a supportive partner, or what their role should be in the process. But not you. Because you’re reading this book, you’ll be prepared for just about anything and know exactly what it takes to be an equal partner on the pregnancy (and parenting) journey.

This book answers all the burning questions you have about the impact your partner’s pregnancy will have on your life. Of course, we tell you how your sex life will change because we know that’s near the top of your list. We also explain everything you ever wanted to know about how a fetus develops, what it’s like to live with a pregnant woman, and how your pocketbook will be hit by adding a new member (or members) to your family.

Additionally, we delve a little into what to expect the first six months or so after the baby arrives. We walk you through the ins and outs of feeding, changing diapers, dealing with common illnesses and emergencies, and staying sane and true to yourself through it all.

As you read this book, you’ll notice a few things:

We use he and she interchangeably throughout because we don’t know whether your baby is a boy or a girl.

We use the term medical practitioner when we talk about anyone medical because we don’t know whether you’re working with a doctor or midwife, a pediatrician or a nurse practitioner.

We call your partner your partner because that’s what she is, in every sense.

We sprinkle shaded boxes throughout the text. They contain information that’s interesting but not essential to the topic at hand, so feel free to skip over them if you’re pressed for time.

Basically, after reading this book, you’ll feel completely prepared for fatherhood. You won’t actually be completely prepared, because no one ever is, but you’ll at least feel like you are until the baby comes.

Expectant dads are often the forgotten partner in the new family-to-be, and they need all the understanding they can get. If you’re reading this, we assume you fall into at least one of the following categories:

You’re an expectant dad.

You’re hoping to become an expectant dad.

You’re already a father but looking to learn new tricks for the next go-round.

You know an expectant dad and want to get into his head and understand why he’s behaving the way he is.

Icons are another handy tool you can use as you work your way through this book. If you find the tips really helpful, for instance, you can skim through and search for that icon. Following are the icons we use in this book:

The Remember icon sits next to information we hope stays in your head for more than two minutes.

The Tip icon gives helpful insider info that may take years to learn on your own.

Whenever we use a Warning icon, you’d better sit up and take notice, because not heeding our warning could be disastrous for you or your loved ones.

You can find a little more helpful related information at https://www.dummies.com , where you can peruse this book’s Cheat Sheet. To get this handy resource, go to the website and type Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies Cheat Sheet in the Search box.

This is where we tell you to go read the book, already!

Although you can start absolutely any place and get the benefit of our expertise, if your partner isn’t yet pregnant or is newly pregnant, we suggest starting at the beginning and reading right on through. It will calm your nerves, we promise.

If you’re the last-minute type of guy and you’re reading this book just a few months (or weeks!) before the impending birth, you can certainly skip the first trimester stuff (at least this time around) and start wherever makes the most sense for you.

And if you got this book at the beginning of the pregnancy but never got around to opening it until now, when baby has his first case of sniffles, that’s okay too — we still have plenty of valuable information for you. Pregnancy is the start of the adventure, but the fun continues long after.

Part 1

IN THIS PART …

Think about whether the time is right to consider adding someone new to your household.

Confront your fears and feelings about how having a baby will change your life.

Take stock of your readiness to become a parent, with all that parenthood entails financially, emotionally, and even physically.

Review Conception 101 to fill in the gaps in your baby-making knowledge.

Decide to make the necessary lifestyle changes to ensure success in the pregnancy department.

Deal with not being able to be physically present during pregnancy and childbirth.

Chapter 1

IN THIS CHAPTER

Exploring what it means to be a father today

Taking stock of what will change in your life

Facing the decision of whether to have a baby

Surveying the next nine months

Apparently, congratulations are in order: Either you’re going to be a father sometime within the next nine months or you’re in the planning stages of becoming a dad. Either way, you’ve come to the right place. You’ll face no bigger life decision than choosing to become a parent. (And no bigger jolt than being told baby is coming if you didn’t expect it!) The best gift you can give to your soon-to-be child is confidence, and the only way to feel confident before becoming a parent is to prepare yourself for the journey that lies ahead.

Perhaps you’re already floored by equal doses of joy and fear, which is a good sign that you recognize the magnitude of the change, but fear not — you’re up for the challenge of fatherhood. Emotions run deep when confronted with the prospect of raising a child, mainly because it’s a huge commitment and responsibility that, unlike a job, never has off-hours. Babies are expensive, confusing, and time consuming, and for many fathers, they represent the end of a carefree “youth” that extends well into adulthood.