Liane Holliday Willey - Pretending to be Normal

8. Use your personal hygiene routine as a sensory input center. Either very firmly or very lightly (depending on your preference) scrub your body with differently textured bath brushes and wash cloths until you find the combination of force and texture you enjoy.

1. Wear sunglasses, visors or hats to protect yourself from the sun and overhead lights, but do not allow these to block or interfere with your vision.

2. Experiment with different colored light bulbs and different levels of bulb wattage to see which you like the best.

3. Surround yourself with colors that appeal to you.

4. If you are overwhelmed in large crowded areas, try putting your hands around your face and focus on things just in front of you, not those things in your peripheral vision. I often do this and have discovered that if I pretend to be rubbing my temples, as if I am warding off a headache, people do not react oddly when they see me.

5. Look down at the floor directly ahead of you, but only try this if you are with someone who can guide you around obstacles.

1. Wear earplugs designed for light sleepers, using caution to make sure you can still hear emergency vehicles, people when they are talking to you and any other sound that is important to your safety, learning and well-being. Avoid using cotton balls or facial tissues as earplugs, because they can create their own potentially disturbing frequency as air passes through the fibers of the cotton.

2. Simply try to avoid areas where different noises merge together, such as large sports stadiums, concert halls, busy malls, rooms filled with loud people and music, large cafeterias, etc. Consider earplugs if you do go to any of those places.

3. Wear stereo headphones to mask other noises, again making certain you can hear possibly important sounds.

4. Think about enrolling in an auditory integration training program.

1. If food presents a problem for you because of its texture, smell and/or taste, try to find at least a small handful of foods from each nutritional group you can accept and simply stick to eating those, even if it means you will bring your own food to restaurants and other people’s homes.

2. Try dressing up mushy or slimy sensations by adding crunch foods like celery, nuts, seeds or carrots; anything you like that could bulk-up the soft texture.

3. Try eating the foods you really do not like, but think you need to eat for your health, when you are very relaxed and when you can put your thoughts on something else like your favorite book or television show. Begin by eating just one or two tiny bites, working your way up to a full bite size only if you are able.

4. If you feel you can, experiment with new recipes that change the way your aversive food looks and tastes. For example, you might be able to eat a small portion of a banana, if it is mixed in a chocolate shake, or you might be able to eat some cauliflower if it is mashed with a potato.

5. Talk to your doctor to see if you should be taking supplements to fortify your restricted diet.

1. Put a bit of your favorite smell, if you can find it in a liquid or paste, on the end of a cotton ball or on the inside of your arm, and smell it when other smells overwhelm you.

2. Wear nose plugs when you are in a private area.

3. Purchase only non-scented cleaning and bathing products.

4. Politely ask those around you to please not wear perfumes or eat heavy smelling foods in your presence.

5. Write your local political representative about the possibility of passing new laws which restrict or prohibit the use of advertisements that smell, such as perfume and cologne flyers or washer and dryer soap samples, that often come in magazines or to private mail boxes.

When my daughter was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, her doctors gave me one outstanding piece of counsel. They told me that my husband and I would now become the experts on AS. We, in effect, would stand as her greatest advocates. The truth of their prophecy has been shown virtually every day. The general public is largely uneducated in AS. I have grown to believe that this is the single most damaging element to the AS cause, that is, understanding and acceptance. Without knowledge of the symptoms, outcomes and even confounding attributes, it is nearly impossible for others to recognize and support AS individuals. Education. This is the key, the very accessible key. International, national, regional, state and local Asperger support groups abound (see Appendix VII).

The WWW is a virtual AS classroom, brimming with dozens of sites devoted to AS research, personal stories, medical implications, educational and employment considerations. Even the mass media has begun to embrace the cause by showcasing AS families and persons. Slowly, the world of Asperger’s Syndrome is finding its way to the mainstream mind. With your help, it will get there faster. If one thing is certain in the AS world, it is simply that the diagnosis means different things to different people at different times in their lives. Put another way, AS affects individuals in varying degrees and in varying ways. This reality can make it quite difficult to suggest a pat and foolproof summary of how others can lend effective support. Yet, because support from others is so often extremely instrumental to the complete well-being of an AS person, it seems imperative that something concrete be suggested, even if it serves as only a guideline and never as an absolute. The following guide is an attempt to do just that. It is directed toward anyone who considers themselves a source of support for AS individuals.

• Realize the importance of your support, even if the AS person is unaware of it. You will, in many ways, serve as a role model for behavior, a counselor when feelings of confusion and insecurities mingle toward the surface, and a calming influence should things spring out of control.

• Try to find ways to deal with the stress you will face as the main support system. Take time outs, promise yourself opportunities to unwind and relax, seek a mentor or counselor of your own, should you feel it is called for.

• Expect to give only what you can, never taking too much away from your own identity. Try to reach a compromise between the needs of the AS person in your life and your own. For instance, you might relish socializing, while your AS friend might abhor it. You could work out an arrangement that finds you going places with other friends while your AS friend stays at home with a good book or a favorite movie you brought home for her to enjoy. One caveat, try never to make the AS person feel less important because they do not share parts of your identity.

• Understand people cannot snap out of AS traits, instantly leaving behind obsessive compulsive rituals or rigid thinking or literal mindedness. Realize it takes continuing education, behavioral modification training, time and personal experience memories to help people with AS find appropriately effective coping skills. Keep these realities in mind when you begin discussions, particularly heated debates or arguments with an AS person. If you employ logic, concrete and controlled language, specific examples and an objectively open mind, you will be far more likely to keep the channels of communication between you and your AS friend open and meaningful.

• Help the AS person establish a small group of friends who are educated in AS and able and willing to accept the nuances and intricacies of the syndrome. Be confident that AS people normally enjoy friendships, they simply might be confused in knowing how to begin and maintain them.