Liane Holliday Willey - Pretending to be Normal

(e) an office or work space in the most quiet place possible

(f) advanced knowledge of any changes in routine as soon as possible

(g) a mentor or co-worker you can train with or work along side of

(h) a flexible break schedule should you need to quickly find a quiet zone

(i) assistance in filling out your employment forms and contracts

(j) a regular parking space close to the building you will be working in

(k) the opportunity to request which people you work with on group assignments

(l) continued career and job skill training.

(a) Never assume your employer or co-worker should accept anything less than your best efforts. In other words, always do your best.

(b) Always let your employer know if you cannot make it to work or if you will be late or leave early. It is not fair simply to assume that co-workers will cover for you without your having made the effort to explain your absence.

(c) Never underestimate your own potential.

(d) Do everything you can to improve your skills or widen your knowledge.

(e) Try to be patient with people who seem to ignore your needs, they might simply need time to adjust to your differences or more education in order really to understand the AS world.

(f) Try very hard to find employment that holds your interest. If you do, you will be far more likely to control any of the AS behaviors that might otherwise make it difficult for you to do your job.

(g) Try not to quit a job without first giving at least two weeks notice. This implies you will be honest with yourself about how the job is going, so that you can judge whether or not you are beginning to feel overwhelmed, overloaded or too frustrated by the demands. The moment you feel any of these sensations, you need to talk to your employer or mentor and either find a way to deal with the situation or prepare to leave the job.

(h) Tell your employer and co-workers what you think they need to know about your AS, if you decide that this will help them to better accommodate you, understand you, and help you to find the kind of work you are best suited for.

(i) Let your employer and co-workers know you appreciate their friendships and their guidance by sending them a thank you note once or twice a year or by simply telling them how you feel about their association with you.

I like household routines as much as I like professional sumo wrestling — which is to say I do not like them in the least. I used to feel a tug of guilt when I allowed myself to admit I did not enjoy all that comes with caring for my family and home, but that was before I came to view homemaking as a quasi-academic major worthy of a stack of certifications and degrees. Those who tell you homemaking is easy or that it is enticing only to simpletons, are woefully misinformed. In my view, homemaking is a science that has to be studied, researched, analyzed, learned and memorized. Not because it requires a great deal of intellect, rather because it requires a well-organized and deliberately attentive mind. A mind that can shuffle, sort, file, retrieve, and re-route with only a moment’s notice.

I, like many of my AS friends, do not have a mind like that. My mind wanders about like a golden retriever let loose near several reed-lined ponds and an open field, knee high in native grass and wildlife. I never know quite what I am looking for, exactly what needs my attention first, precisely where I want to go, or how I want to approach that which lies before me. I marvel at those I know who are able to handle their home with any measure of efficiency or ease. To me, homemaking is an intricate blend of peculiar demands, random fundamentals, chaotic compromises and irksome annoyances; it is a skilled trade I have no plans of mastering. Still, it is something I try to train myself to do with at least a certain measure of proficiency and a degree of resignation that I would not have been able to offer just ten years ago. After much trial and error, here are the lessons I have managed to learn about homemaking with AS.

Assign each member of the family a color, then try to purchase as many personal items as you can in those colors letting everyone know their things are the blue or yellow or pink or whatever color they have selected. Items you might be able to include in this system include: toothbrushes, hairbrushes, laundry baskets, bedding supplies, towels and wash cloths, various school supplies, key rings, glass cases, lunch boxes, gloves and hats, backpacks and briefcases and toy boxes. Continue the theme by purchasing colored pens and note paper that match each person’s color, a note on blue paper is for the person who chose blue, an activity written on the calendar with red ink is an activity for the person who chose red, and so on.

Keep a collection of differently colored bins for the various mail your family receives. One color for bills, one for personal correspondence, one for junk mail you might want to read like shopping ads and coupons, and one for mail you are ready to stamp and mail.

Buy different colored filing folders for each main category of information you need to file. Try to select colors that remind you of the category.

(a) Automobile information— warranties, the rental or purchase contracts, repair records, and payment books kept in a color-coded file that matches the color of your favorite car.

(b) Credit card and checkbook records— credit card information including photocopies of your payment agreements, and the names, addresses and telephone numbers you need should your credit cards or checks get lost or stolen; other general financial contract payment agreements; copies of paid bills and receipts; checkbook information, including your bank account number and the name, addresses and telephone numbers of your bank kept in a color-coded file that matches the color of your favorite currency.

(c) Family documents— wills; birth, marriage, baptism and death certificates; divorce papers; diplomas and any other personal information numbers or licenses kept in a color-coded file that matches the color of your eyes.

(d) Financial records— insurance policy papers; investment papers; the names, telephone numbers and addresses of the people who broker or maintain your accounts kept in a color-coded file that matches the color of your checks or checkbook.

(e) Health records— immunization records, hospitalization records, medical procedure records, histories of family illnesses, allergy records and lists of medications you have taken kept in a color coded file that matches the color of the red cross found on most first aid kits.

(f) Household products information— warranties, proper care and handling instructions, and authorized service centers kept in a color coded file that matches the color of your refrigerator.

These days, most shopping, including everything from groceries sold in bulk, to memorabilia, art work, hobby supplies and home maintenance items, can be done by mail order. What’s more, if you live in an area that does not require sales tax on those items purchased by mail, you can even save money when you catalog shop. If you are not already receiving a variety of catalogs, ask your neighbors and extended family members for their old catalogs. Or you can search the last few pages of most hobby or specific interest magazines (home decorating, garden, automobile repair, etc.) for catalog advertisements and address information.