Akash Karia: Small Talk Hacks: The People Skills & Communication Skills You Need to Talk to Anyone and be Instantly Likeable

Try This:

Watch a documentary movie about a subject that isn’t typically exciting for you. Practice repeating what you hear in your mind so that you can stay focused. This will make it easier for you to do the same in conversation.

ACTIVE LISTENING CHANGES RELATIONSHIPS

As you work to improve your active listening skills, you’ll begin to see that you develop deeper relationships with all of the people in your life. This helps to strengthen professional networks as well as friendships and family life.

The more you do it, the easier it will become to actively listen in conversations and show that you’re interested in the people around you.

Chapter 5

MAKE YOUR PERSONALITY SHINE

No matter what your personality, you can become someone with a shining personality that attracts others to it. You may not think of yourself as very charismatic. But don’t let those feelings of inadequacy get in the way of making your personality shine.

Every person has qualities that are wonderful and we all have a few personality traits that we wish we didn’t. But anyone can learn to focus on those positive qualities and even adopt some new ones. You can also learn how to make the good qualities the ones that stand out the most.

BECOMING MORE CHARISMATIC

You’ve probably heard the term “charismatic” but you might not really understand what it means. Basically, charisma is made up of the personality traits you have that actually draw people to you.

You may think that charismatic people are just born that way. And it’s true that some people naturally have traits and behaviors that make them more engaging. But it’s also true that you can learn and develop those traits and behaviors.

It helps to start by knowing which traits are the most important for becoming a charismatic person, professional, and leader.

A study conducted at the University of Minnesota provides us with some important insight into what makes a charismatic leader. This study showed that leaders who had positive emotional expressions were considered the most charismatic leaders.

In turn, those leaders who had positive emotional expressions were shown to have more positive followers – as if their mood was actually contagious. The bottom line? The more positive emotional expressions you have, the more you’ll attract others and the more others will follow with a positive mood.

So if you do nothing else as you work to make a good impression, keep things positive! Think about the people that you enjoy spending time with in your own life. Would you rather be around someone who complains all the time and always sees the glass half-empty?

Or would you rather be around someone who is positive and helps you to have an optimistic outlook?

Even if you think you’re not very naturally charismatic, making the choice to be more positive will naturally increase your charismatic quotient.

PERSONALITY DO’S AND DON’TS

When you’re working on showing off the best aspects of your personality, it helps to follow a few simple rules. Read on for some of the do’s and don’ts for making your personality shine.

Do Share Opinions

In order to have a dynamic personality, you’ll have to be someone who isn’t afraid to share your opinions. That doesn’t mean that you have to be aggressive about them.

But don’t be afraid to respectfully disagree with someone or share strong views. Just remember that others have the right to their own views. When you become someone who can agree to disagree you’ll be more interesting and engaging.

Don’t Be Obnoxious and Too Loud

We all know someone who is always too loud and often behaves obnoxiously. Monitor your own volume level and the appropriateness of your behavior.

Many people who are loud and obnoxious are simply unaware of their behavior. You may want to ask some trusted friends or family members if they’ve noticed you behaving in this way.

It’s also particularly important to watch your behavior when you’ve had alcohol as sometimes people become more obnoxious when they’re had too much to drink. (I know a couple of people who could definitely use this advice!)

Do Share Your Passions

People who have passions and talk about them bring a natural spark to a conversation. Make sure that you know your own passions and add them to any discussions you may have.

Don’t Be Boring

What does it mean to be boring? Usually someone who is boring tends to talk more than they listen. And they tend to talk about the same things over and over again even when their conversation partners are not engaged.

On the other hand someone who is boring might say nothing at all. The bottom line is that someone who is boring is not engaging in conversation. They might have no opinion on any subject. Your goal is to fall in the middle and be someone who listens, is engaged, and also has opinions.

Do Be Empathetic

Empathy is the ability to understand someone else’s feeling as if you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. It also means being able to lift someone up and support them.

Showing empathy is a wonderful way to engage others. People love to feel that you really understand them and support them. It also helps to understand your own feelings and just be comfortable with talking about feelings in general.

Don’t Be Negative

One of the best ways to push people away is to have a negative view of every situation. Remember that charismatic people are positive and uplifting. Strive to be someone who finds the positive in every situation and supports others in positive ways.

That doesn’t mean you can’t see problems or have a bad day. But it does mean that when you come across a problem you focus on solutions rather than wallowing in self-pity or misery.

Try This:

Spend some time examining your own personality traits. Ask a good friend to describe your personality – both the good and the bad. Then choose one of the negative aspects of your personality and focus on turning it around for the next week.

Over time you’ll be able to change bad habits into good ones and embrace a more positive personality that attracts others and helps you to become a leader.

Chapter 6

GOING FROM INTRODUCTION TO INTIMACY

When you attend a large gathering you may begin with the initial goal of talking to as many people as you can. But in the end, the goal shouldn’t be to just meet a lot of people – you also want to begin getting to know people at a deeper level.

You want to create a great first impression, but you also want to create a lasting relationship that can be mutually beneficial. You’ll find that when you develop intimacy in your relationships you’ll get much more out of them.

TAKING CONVERSATIONS TO THE NEXT LEVEL

It can be a challenge to create conversations that have intimacy in just a few minutes. And while you can’t force anyone to like or trust you, you can greatly increase the chances of that happening by following a few simple practices.

TECHNIQUE #1: INVITE APPROACH

Many people put up an invisible wall with their body language that says, “I don’t really want to be bothered.” In order to invite connection you also need to invite people to approach you.