Diana Richardson - Tantric Sex for Men

nothing to do with love, but when a woman allows man to enter and be present in her in

consciousness, aspects that have been separated for centuries can reunite. Sex (the lower vibration)

and love (the higher vibration) of the same life force become one expression. When we understand

how bodies cooperate, we can completely change our inherited sexual patterns.

PERSONAL SHARING

The Joy of Feeling Welcome

Tantra helps me to tap in to the unexplored aspects of my being. Even without pursuing the goal of becoming more

conscious of deep-rooted patterns, primal fears come up from time to time while practicing tantra. And at the same time, it

leads me into dimensions, takes me toward energies I would not have reached and felt without tantra and without my wife.

The following situation brings up the most significant sensations: Whenever my penis is softly lying in the vagina of my

wife, its mere presence creates a deep connection between the male and the female pole. I have the sense that I am pulled

in by her vagina, yet I also feel that by my penis stiffening, my male energy is growing into my woman. The sensation of

being pulled in to her vagina is one of the most beautiful feelings that I know. It tells me on a very deep level: “You are

welcome.” One of my deepest fears is that I might not be welcome, so to experience this welcome again and again relaxes

me in the depths of my soul. This fear is a basic fear of all manhood. Many men have confirmed this by sharing with me

that they personally have this primal fear. When I first had this experience of being pulled in to a woman (during the

tantra course) I was simply overwhelmed. I had never expected to experience being so deeply welcomed, ever in my life. I

just cried with joy, but also because such a deep pain started to be released. Today I can honestly say that the fear of not

being welcome, not getting enough and being rejected, has largely been healed.

PERSONAL SHARING

Penis Tension Resolved

Besides the changes on the spiritual-energetic level, I also feel changes on the physical plane. Previously, when I touched

the top of my penis, the sensation was always partly unpleasant. It made me back off inside and become tense. I

experienced that as a defensive tension in the tissue. As far as I can remember, it had always been like that. Four months

after the tantra course, this unpleasant part dissolved and has not returned. I am surprised by this experience, but it

teaches me that my body becomes soft, vulnerable, and receptive through tantra.

The most important experience with tantra is that each time it is different; nothing happens twice in the exact same

way. It’s like life itself—every day brings something new. Therefore, I experience tantra as a precious teacher for my

whole life.

Tantric Inspiration

What is love? Love is the fragrance, the radiance of knowing oneself, of being oneself. . . . Love is overflowing joy.

Love is when you have seen who you are; and then there is nothing left except to share your being with others.

Love is when you have seen that you are not separate from existence. Love is when you have felt an organic

orgasmic unity with all that is. Love is not a relationship. Love is a state of being. It has nothing to do with anybody

else. One is not in love; one is love. And of course, when one is love, one is in love—but that is an outcome, a by-

product, that is not the source. The source is that one is love.

OSHO, TRANSCRIBED TEACHINGS,

THE GUEST

9

MASTERING LOVE AND OVERCOMING EMOTIONS

Tantra sees human energy in terms of polarity: feminine energy as “being” and masculine energy as

“doing.” Within woman, the inner masculine is active, logical, and result oriented; and in man, the

inner feminine is receptive, intuitive, and process oriented. Tantra takes a step further to say that the

highest spiritual polarity in existence is love and meditation, that woman embodies love and man

embodies meditation. This implies that woman’s inner man is meditative and man’s inner woman is

loving.

To be whole human beings, operating with wisdom, passion, authenticity, and spontaneity, we need

to master both energies: masculine and feminine, meditation and love. Woman becomes more

meditative the more she loves, and man becomes more loving the more he meditates. In more precise

sexual language, to love in woman means to welcome the penis in and surrender to its power, and to

meditate in man means to merge with, and become fully present in, his penis, inside woman, in

stillness.

DISTINGUISHING BETWEEN EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS

Deep personal and societal wounding prevents many of us from balancing our energies in a way that

serves us. We repress the memories of our hurts, suppress our real feelings and energies, and then

unconsciously begin to control or manipulate others, or fail to channel our energies in a wise or

creative direction. As we change the way we make love, we initiate an alchemical process of

awakening the inner, opposite polarity, which will, in time, enable us to use both energies powerfully

and productively. This, in turn, helps us to dissolve emotional patterns that have caused us pain in the

past and enables us to create the life and love we long for in the present.

To create the life of sustained, loving harmony that so many of us wish for, an important step is to

keep emotion out of love. As Osho says, “Love is a state of being,” and “One is not in love, one is

love . . . it has nothing to do with anybody else.” With the new input about harnessing polarity and our

orgasmic potential, we might be able to conceive of days of “being love” as a sustained state that is

not associated with the highs and lows of relationships. But what about these highs and the painfully

difficult, emotion-laden lows, when love becomes scrambled up with irreconcilable feelings and

fears? Despair or resignation can set in when a couple can see no way out of the cycle of conflicts.

Regaining our power in love is dependent on knowing the difference between feelings and

emotions, knowing that “love has to be separated from this category of emotions.” (See the tantric

inspiration at the end of this chapter.) It is crucial to understand that emotion comes from the past,

while love and true feelings arise in the present. When too much “emotional baggage” from the past

gets dragged into everyday life, love is quick to wane; love flourishes in the delicacy of the now. That

doesn’t mean emotion is some kind of demon. Emotion is understandable, but it’s important to be

aware that you are emotional and to know what is happening, when it is happening. The recognition of

emotionality causes a big shift in the maturity of an individual and a couple.

Symptoms of Emotion

Until now we have had no frame of reference to understand what is truly going on in the split second

in which emotions surface—the instant when, seemingly out of the blue, the love boat begins to rock

dangerously. What we need is self-awareness. The immediate physical symptoms of emotion can be

described variously as “suddenly feeling paralyzed” or as if “a wall suddenly comes down.” You