Cassandra Lorius - Tantric Sex - Making love last

Cassandra Lorius

Thorsons

An Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

Published in the UK by Thorsons 1999

© Cassandra Lorius 1999

Cassandra Lorius asserts her moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

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Source ISBN: 9780722538869

Ebook Edition © JUNE 2016 ISBN: 9780007469284

Version: 2016-07-21

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Foreword

Part 1: Introducing Tantra

How to use this book

Why choose Tantra?

What is Tantra?

ROOTS OF TANTRA

ACHIEVING BLISS

SHAKTI – THE FEMININE ENERGY

SACRED SEX

THE TANTRIC ENERGY MAP

CHAKRAS: WHEELS OF LIFE FORCE

TANTRIC PRACTICES

SACRED TOOLS: MANTRAS AND YANTRAS

SEXUAL ICONS

Part 2: Day-to-Day Tantra

Female and male in Tantra

THE BODY AS A TEMPLE

THE WAY OF PLEASURE

EMOTIONS

Tantra for your relationship

CREATING A TANTRIC RELATIONSHIP

TANTRA FOR SEXUAL HEALING

TANTRA IN THE WEST

Part 3: Practical Tantra

Preparing for Tantra

PREPARING YOURSELF

CENTRING YOURSELF

MEDITATION

Creating sacred space

CREATING A TANTRIC BED

CREATING RITUAL SPACE

CREATING THE TANTRIC FIELD

Partner work

HONOURING YOUR PARTNER: NAMASTE

CLEARING THE AIR

CONNECTING

SEEING YOUR PARTNER AS AN ENERGY BODY

TUNING IN

Breathing practices

COMPLETE BREATHING

HEART TO HEART BREATHING

SEX AND THE HEART BREATH

HEART WAVE

MALE AND FEMALE BREATH

SYNCHRONIZED BREATHING

ALTERNATE BREATHING

UNITY THROUGH SACRED SOUND

Meditation and visualization

UNITING HEAVEN AND EARTH: MEDITATION

PURIFYING THE CHAKRAS

ANOINTING THE CHAKRAS

Raising the energy

FIRE MEDITATION

STREAMINGS

Eroticizing your body

AWAKENING THE SENSES

DANCE OF THE GODDESS

EROTIC TOUCH

Anatomy of sex

THE LOVE MUSCLE

FIRE MEDITATION WITH LOVE MUSCLE SQUEEZE

Improving your sexual enjoyment

SELF-PLEASURING

HONOURING YONI

HONOURING LINGAM

HEALING YONI MASSAGE

MASSAGING THE LINGAM

Extended sexual pleasure

THE GODDESS SPOT

MALE SACRED SPOT: THE PROSTATE

Part 4: Divine Sex

Relaxing into orgasm

NON-DOING IN LOVE-MAKING

RIDING THE WAVE OF BLISS

Working in an on-going Tantric way

ONGOING TANTRA

Glossary

Bibliography

Resources

INDEX

Acknowledgements

The Art of Sexual Ecstasy

About the Publisher

Essences of lily, lemon and lavender were wafted under my nose, and small segments of pineapple, figs and pomegranate teasingly popped into my mouth – all of which I savoured with a sensual pleasure enhanced by being blindfolded. Percussion instruments were gently rattled somewhere near my ears, and my skin was brushed with fabrics, feathers and fur. In this state of heightened sensitivity my hand was placed in the tentative clasp of my neighbour to explore. ‘I don’t know where this is leading,’ I thought, ‘but if this is Tantric foreplay, I want more!’

Tantric workshops have had a bad press – often portrayed as excuses for orgies by the tabloids. Yet they’re not solely about sex but sensuality in the broadest sense. SkyDancing’s ‘Taste of Tantra’ workshops combine the Eastern practices of yoga and meditation with techniques from modern humanistic psychology, which focuses on developing the intimacy skills needed to effectively communicate and connect with our partners. Participants are led through a sequence of exercises designed to increase energy and sensual awareness, culminating in an ‘Erotic massage’ from your partner. Tantra involves letting the mind go and becoming more expressive through your body. Along with a sense of relaxation and playfulness comes a surge of energy, which you can use in creative ways to enhance your interaction with your partner.

Discovering Tantra was a revelation for me – not that it felt strange or exotic. It was more like coming home to myself. Feeling freely expressive, worshipping my own body, and being worshipped all felt natural and inevitable. Of course I am a goddess incarnate; I’d always known that – it was just that no-one else had!

My partner is also a natural Tantric; a very sensual man whose ability to love and connect continues to amaze me, in spite of other problems we have. Like all the men I’ve met on the Tantric path, he loves and honours women.

This honouring of women tends to run through the men who are attracted to, and stay on the Tantric path. They are usually more in touch with their feminine side, which makes it easier for women to express themselves more completely. Of course this doesn’t mean that all relationship problems are automatically solved, but it’s an important foundation for a couple who choose the Tantric path together.

Tantra means celebrating the love between you, and keeping it nourished and alive in a variety of ways, which this book will explore. It’s all about being spontaneous and playing together, as well as nurturing a sense of your spiritual connection. Tantric practices are a way of finding or creating a path together that is filled with a sense of the sacred.

The key practice is to see your lover as truly divine.

When you accept that your lover is divine you can use the model of a divine relationship as an inspired template for your own. Even if you don’t manage this challenging task you can experience a lot of joy and pleasure trying. And usually your sex-life improves greatly.

I was dissatisfied with my sex life before starting on the Tantra training. I felt that the full potential of my capacity for sexual pleasure had barely been explored, and that traditional sex therapy and self-help approaches had nothing to offer me. It wasn’t that I had a sexual ‘problem’, or that I couldn’t reach orgasm, but I felt a deep post-coital emptiness in spite of the love I felt for my partner. The models in our culture for a satisfying sexual relationship have more to do with ideas of stress-release and notching up orgasms than they do with our deepest desires for connection and intimacy. When I embarked on my first Tantra weekend workshop I had no idea that Tantric ideas and practices would resonate so strongly with me – it seemed like good fun at the time, and after several years of doing Egyptian dance, I wasn’t shy about dancing and ‘getting in touch with the sensual goddess within’.