Diana Richardson - Tantric Sex for Men

and crude as sandpaper. Further, there is no real energetic connection between fingers and vagina

when compared to the inherent electromagnetic potential between penis and vagina.

THE PENIS AS HEALING CATALYST

The head of the penis is like a highly sensitive magnet with the capacity to draw out disturbing

tension. It purifies vaginal tissues, purifying itself in the process, so that there is a reciprocal cycle of

purification. Men have their own accumulated traumas and memories from the way we have used and

abused our penises. And many men have also been victims of childhood sexual abuse, and carry

memories and tensions relating to the experience.

It’s important to realize that the penis is not like a vacuum cleaner that sucks up all the woman’s

tension, leaving you stuck with a full bag. It is more like a catalyst that precipitates the release of

tension. The penis causes tension to be released from the system. Through this process man’s tensions

soften, his male energy gets refined, and the penis loses its overcharge and becomes more supple,

pliable, sensitive, and relaxed.

This is very good news, because while an unconscious penis can cause a lot of damage, a

conscious penis can create tremendous healing. One of the reasons why the world is suffering from so

much war and so many natural disasters is that male and female forces are out of balance. Over the

centuries woman (and the feminine energy) has not been treated at all nicely, and while it’s perhaps

less obvious in Western society, the way woman is still treated today in some cultures is shocking.

Man has used and abused woman for his own selfish reasons and when she was no longer interesting,

thrown her away and taken another woman. Frequently woman is also used by man to discharge his

inner tensions and emotions (see chapter 9). Even if this is not your personal history as a man, the

collective human memories over centuries are probably stored in every woman.

Conscious Love Can Heal the Past

By entering woman consciously, in love and presence, man can have an impact on the larger planetary

imbalance. It’s as if woman is burdened with this collective past that she cannot shake off, but which

can be “displaced” and released by a conscious, loving penis—freeing woman and bringing her back

to her essential self, which is love. And in purifying woman of her tensions, man is also purified.

There is an innate circle of reciprocity; man heals and balances woman, who in turn heals and

balances man. By welcoming man in at this level, woman brings him into a state of purity, relaxation,

and love (as opposed to fostering the insecure, defensive, and aggressive stance that leads to war).

Nature is truly remarkable.

There is a beautiful talk by Barry Long called “Love Brings All to Life,” in which he recounts the

Greek myth of Pygmalion (see Recommended Books and Resources). Pygmalion was a sculptor who

carved a life-sized statue of what he considered to be the perfect woman—the woman of his dreams.

He worked passionately, and when he was finally finished, he fell in love with her. He caressed and

admired his idealized woman in stone with so much tenderness, so much love and longing that the

statue came to life.

Long perceived contemporary women as being in a similar situation. Woman comes into this world

already a bit hard, a bit stoney and protective, and for very good reason. She has been abused and

misused for much too long, so she is often born with defenses and not truly open to love. Long said

that like Pygmalion, man must use the power of his love to soften and melt woman so that she can give

up her hardness and protection and return to being pure love.

Female versus Male Essence

Woman in her essence is pure, unconditional love. Man in his essence is pure presence, pure

meditation. There are two ways, or polarities, on the spiritual path: one is of love and devotion, and

the other is of meditation, presence, and being here now. Osho says these are the two highest

polarities in existence; love is female, and presence is male. As woman relaxes in love, meditation or

presence grows by itself. As man relaxes into meditation and being present, unconditional and pure

love grows by itself.

Through cellular purification woman can once again experience her birthright as pure love.

Likewise, man learns to relax into his essence rooted in the present and, very specifically, present in

woman in his penis. This is what a woman most wants from a man, that he be present to her. She is

not so interested in a great performance as a lover, but that man be present to her while he is inside

her. Some men may question this, because often women ask for hard and aggressive sex, but this is

more a reflection of her sexual conditioning whereby she has become slightly male herself. It is up to

woman to examine this response pattern in herself.

STAYING PRESENT

The capacity to be present really defines what it means to be a man, particularly in light of our

cultural confusion. Men are looking for some kind of male authority, but what does it actually mean to

be a man? It is nothing less or more than the capacity to be present.

If man can be present in woman—not enter her with a hungry or demanding penis (an emotional

penis, see chapter 9), but with a penis that is loving in the here and now—then the penis can begin to

“catalyze” what has accumulated in the female body and allow her to relax and transform into pure

love—the true quality of woman. For a man there is nothing more gratifying than to see transformation

happening before your eyes. Far from being a burden or a job, it feels more like a noble task, an

honor to be in woman in a conscious way. To be a chosen one. It gives me (Michael) a certain trust in

myself—a male authority. Many men confide at the end of the retreat that they finally have a

constructive vision of manhood, and that it is a life-changing experience. And yes, when you

cooperate with your sexual nature you do mature and emerge as more of a man. You are more present,

relaxed, and connected to your being; you are a more loving human being.

Altering History

Man can do tremendous damage to woman because she represents the container, the space, the

environment. Man can leave all his tensions there for selfish reasons, but by putting himself in a

larger frame of mind, he actually has the power to change the course of history. That which has been

out of balance for thousands of years can start to change today.

There are no mass solutions for the world’s problems. There is only one solution, and it starts with

this man and this woman. If you can bring the balance back, here in this couple create harmony

between man and woman, you do true peace work for the world. And really, there is no other way.

You will see that when balance is created here, in the relationship, it radiates out to the world in a

palpable way. So sometimes perhaps we feel, “Oh, this is boring . . . not so exciting.” Always put

yourself into a bigger frame of mind, remembering that we are connected to a much greater energy

field encompassing all of us.

DEEP, SUSTAINED PENETRATION

How do we go about deepening polarity, purification, and healing on a practical level? When

erection is present you enter the vagina very slowly (see chapter 6), and you look for places that feel

painful, strange, weird, or numb—and you stay exactly on that spot. Sensitive, painful spots can be