Diana Richardson - Tantric Sex for Men

a subtle art.

In the past it may have appeared that a woman functions counter to the man, in that she demands

this, needs that, and has many preconditions to be satisfied before she opens sexually. But we now

realize that the obstacle is due to a misunderstanding about her body, and not some kind of mental

resistance, personality difference, or lack of interest in sex. Sadly, during the lifetime of a woman the

female sexual energy is not often awakened sufficiently for her to have deep orgasmic experiences.

By beginning with her breasts instead of stimulating her clitoris, you will access a woman’s sexual

energy on a profound inner level. The more a man is able to simply wait for his woman’s sexual

temperature to rise, to meet and equal his own sexual temperature, the more satisfying the sexual

experience is likely to be. Man’s deepest longing is to bring woman to orgasmic fulfillment and feel

her love flowing toward him.

Oral Sex and Masturbation

Oral sex and mutual masturbation are given a great deal of emphasis in the conventional style of sex

because of their stimulating and exciting effects. When we start to create a more relaxed and sensitive

environment, the need for stimulation is reduced. So it is possible that in time some things that you

previously enjoyed or gave a value to slip out of significance because they no longer serve you. Many

men have told us that they reduced their masturbation habit when they experienced how it was having

a desensitizing effect on the tissues of the penis.

You may also find another way to do the same thing, remembering that “tantra denies nothing but

transforms everything.” Touch yourself or the other with love and awareness. Bring their or your

body to life, a state of being awake and alert. Get into your senses and sensuality. Expand the

pleasure through relaxation. Explore the valleys long before you think of heading for the peak, or

perhaps you don’t even bother to go there this time. Experiment with how it feels to retain your vital

juices.

TANTRIC KISSING

Learning to kiss tantric style has great value. You begin to really enjoy kissing and become incredibly

kissable at the same time. Some women say they experience kissing as more intimate than sexual

union.

Anyone can be an excellent kisser. Just relax your lips with your mouth lightly closed, bring your

full attention into your lips, and become present in them. Tantric kissing is done with full, sustained

lip contact. This means you don’t stop; you stay connected. You remain joined at the lips, which are

fused in a relaxed, sensual fashion. You get together and stay together, so a tantric lip kiss can easily

last a few hours. Each person enters the lips with presence and awareness, becoming their lips.

The tongue is usually not used in tantric-style kissing; or if it is, only a little, and delicately.

Perhaps the tip of your tongue gently caresses the lips. The famous French tongue kiss can cause a

sharp rise in the level of man’s excitement and encourage early ejaculation, which means the tongue

ought to be used with caution.

Like most things, kissing takes practice, so do not abandon the tantric kiss before you “get it.”

Suddenly one day it will click. There is nothing obvious to be seen from the outside (except that you

do not stop)—a kiss is a kiss—but from within, the experience can be electrifying.

POSITIONS DURING SEX

Positions are relatively unimportant. One position is as good as the next if you enjoy it and it works

for you. What is most important is to be present in a position and for the position to enhance the

correspondence of penis and vagina, so that it encourages and supports the flow of life force. In

general, the actual physical fitting together is maintained as much as possible in any given situation.

Changing Positions through Rotating Moves

Changing position increases awareness and enhances presence. Positions can be changed regularly in

order to renew and refresh the environment of the penis and vagina. Positions can be changed when

there is a need to move, the pull to sleep, or the urge to stretch.

The sequences of what we call rotating positions are shown in figures 7.1 and 7.2. These are

changes of position using circular, dimensional movements, rotating around a focal point—penis

inside the vagina. As the bodies move, they endeavor to maintain the connection between penis and

vagina. If the penis slips out, just quickly slip it in again. Man can do it, woman can do it—whatever

is easiest. Nothing is lost if this happens, but a sense of humor helps.

The starting point of the sequences in figures 7.1 and 7.2 is the scissors position used for soft

penetration as described in chapter 6. Scissors is a good beginning position—man on his side,

woman on her back, relaxed and easy for both. Scissors position is equally wonderful for slow

penetration with erection and is a comfortable position for a short sleep.

Fig. 7.1. Sequence of rotating positions through front approach

Fig. 7.2. Sequence of rotating positions through rear approach

After five, fifteen, or fifty minutes the position can be changed, as often as necessary, as often as

desired. Shifts in position can be done slowly, all movements in a deliberate, step-by-step, unhurried,

unfolding and rearranging of bodies.

Tantric Inspiration

And while making love, forget about orgasm. Rather, be in a relaxed state, relax into each other. The Western mind

is continuously thinking about when it is coming and how to make it fast and great and this and that. The thinking

does not allow the body energies to function. It does not allow the body to have its own way; the mind goes on

interfering . . .

Relax . . . If nothing happens there is no need for anything to happen. If nothing happens then that is what is

happening . . . and that too is beautiful! Orgasm is not such a thing that it has to happen every day. Sex should be

just being together, just dissolving into each other. Then one can keep making love for half an hour, for one hour, just

relaxing into each other. Then you will be of utter mindlessness, because there is no need for the mind. Love is the

only thing where the mind is not needed; and that is where the West is wrong: it brings in the mind even there.

OSHO, TRANSCRIBED TEACHINGS,

THE OPEN SECRET

PERSONAL SHARING

Finally Getting Enough

My biggest source of stress has been not getting enough sex. Two factors have helped to considerably diminishing this

source of stress. First: I have learned to plan sex. Planned sex! Only a short time ago this would have sounded terrible to

me. I thought sex had to be spontaneous, there had to be butterflies in the stomach, and I had to be horny, otherwise it

wouldn’t work. This has changed totally. Nowadays I am planning sex with my wife. On Mondays at 8 p.m., for at least

an hour or two, we make time for love. Week by week we have a second look as to when we want to schedule time for sex.