Diana Richardson - Tantric Sex for Men

This doesn’t eliminate spontaneity. Spontaneous love encounters often happen when we’re on vacation, but during the

normal workweek, it happens rather seldom. With this schedule we make time for something that is very important for

both of us. For me this is a great relaxation from the tension of not getting enough. I know that at least once, and maybe

twice, per week I will have sex. Wonderful, isn’t it? The reason planned sex is nearly always possible is because of

tantra. I learned to meet my wife without focusing on sexual desire and excitement. Nowadays I seldom use the word sex; I

talk about making love. When we make love, we first tune in, in the form of a common meditation. Each time it is a treat to

encounter myself, to open up, to go into my own male power before engaging with my wife. For some time we had put

aside meditation preceding lovemaking. Then we often got caught up in discussions, the energy didn’t flow, or just about

nothing else happened. Generally the lovemaking gets easier, more loving, and more intense if I meditate beforehand.

Secondly: Through tantra, our love is lifted into a totally new dimension. It is fulfilling, sustaining, and very alive. The

knack is (and this is really true) to be aware of myself during the lovemaking. This is the opposite of my previous belief

that I should do anything possible to make the sex act enjoyable for my wife, and my expectation that she would lead me

to a great orgasm as soon as possible.

Tantric Inspiration

In meditation, if two meditators share their energies, love is a constant phenomenon. It does not change. It takes on

the quality of eternity. It becomes divine. The meeting of love and meditation is the greatest experience in life, and

only then does duality between man and woman disappear.

OSHO, TRANSCRIBED TEACHINGS,

THE REBELLIOUS SPIRIT

8

SEXUAL HEALING AND MALE AUTHORITY

Every fifth woman a man meets in the Western world is likely to have been sexually abused,

according to official statistics, and this number does not include women who prefer not to disclose

their histories. Perhaps we can even say that every woman has been inadvertently abused or misused

to a certain extent, due to the relatively aggressive and hard (unconscious) conventional style of sex.

Culturally there is deep misunderstanding about the female body and the way it opens and responds to

male energy (see chapter 4). Likewise, because of lack of awareness and information, the way men

generally use their bodies in sex is actually abusive to their intrinsic male energy and creates a kind

of “overcharge” or disturbance in their systems.

Many men feel a heartfelt concern and unease about the pain and suffering women have been

subjected to through sex. At the same time, men feel quite helpless and powerless, and unable to

extend support or healing to women on such a sensitive level. Sexual abuse has long-lasting, injurious

effects on the life of a woman. The memories in her body and the scars in her psyche can

fundamentally affect her capacity to love and enjoy her body and sex. At times in a relationship, abuse

issues from the past can reappear out of the blue, become reactivated in the present, and turn into a

source of conflict and unhappiness. A man may even carry a lurking guilt about sex in general, in

view of the sexual injustices a woman may have experienced in her past. Following the guidelines

below will give man a positive alternative and direction for his energy, which is just as beneficial

and healing for him as it is for a woman.

This chapter is dedicated to sexual healing and male authority and completes the generative or

meditative sexual orientation that we give our retreat participants toward the end of the weeklong

retreat. A few threads from themes of earlier chapters will be picked up and drawn together here into

a single frame. There will be glancing references to aspects previously addressed in more detail.

VAGINA, NOT CLITORIS

Here we will explain in concrete terms how to deepen our sensitivity so that man and woman become

more sensitized in relation to each other. We first need to examine the role of the clitoris and how this

has affected woman’s capacity to receive. In conventional sex, the clitoris is generally considered by

both women and men to be central to female sexuality and orgasm. This leads to a tendency to focus

on the clitoral area, which actually lies well outside of the vagina. In addition, within the first few

inches of the vagina are some muscular rings that constrict the penis, stimulating it slightly with

pleasurable sensations. Because of these considerations, the movement of the penis usually consists

of short, repeated, frictionlike thrusts that enter only the first part of the vagina.

These two factors have also caused an external focus in woman, so that her awareness is drawn

downward, toward the front of the vaginal/clitoral area, and away from the deeper regions of the

vagina, where, in fact, she is most receptive. Often during hard sex women deliberately have to

contract the vagina to close and protect the sensitive cervix (as mentioned before) because it can be

painful. Sometimes the deeper area will also contract and “close down” due to the tension of old

memories buried deep in the vaginal tissues. These stored memories might include overstepped

boundaries, aggressive sex, abusive sex, rape, abortion, gynecological visits, or even anxiety learned

from parents or church.

Female Receptivity and Stored Tension

Anxiety, memories, and the external focus on the clitoris result in the deeper regions of the vagina

moving out of woman’s awareness and thereby becoming a bit inaccessible. There will usually be a

corresponding lack of awareness and vitality higher in the vagina. At the same time, most women

recognize the significance of this deeper place in their bodies and would like their man to stay deep

within what we call the “garden of love” that lies at the entrance to the uterus—the cervix. Even if a

woman has had her garden of love area (or the entire uterus) surgically removed for medical reasons,

the energy center remains intact and will continue to be a place where woman longs to be touched.

But in the normal course of events, man usually reverses out again before woman has a chance to say

a word. The place where she is most receptive, most feminine, and best able to experience divine

feminine nectar is not available to her, and thereby not available to her man. When an area is closed

down there is a lack of inner perception or sensitivity, which can affect a woman’s receptivity and

sexual experience.

For example, if a woman has a history of sexual abuse, therapy can help to release the trauma, but

memory fragments usually remain stored on a cellular level in the tissues, disturbing female

receptivity. Fortunately, by the grace of nature, we have been given one magical instrument that can

remove these memories and tensions from a woman and awaken her receptivity and femininity—the

penis. There are other methods of internal vaginal massage that release tensions by using a finger.

However, compared to the magnetic, silky head of the penis, the tip of the finger is almost as rough