Tatyana Tolstaya - The Slynx

The other Olenka, the one here, in the Work Izba, was drawing pictures and her tongue stuck out. She was really sort of ordinary-her face, and clothes, and manner. Both of them were one and the same Olenka, and how she splits in Benedikt's head, how he conjures one of them up like a vision-it's not easy to understand.

It's as though a sort of sleepy image splits off from the simple Olenka, and hangs in front of his eyes like a mirage, a fog, an enchantment. Hard to figure… You can poke the simple Olenka in the ribs, like regular people do, and tell her a joke, or play a trick on her: while she's drawing you can sneak up and tie her braid to the stool, for instance. Her braid goes down to the floor, so it's easy as pie. When she gets up-to go to the privy or to lunch-the stool will fall over with a clatter! It's a funny joke, he's done it lots of times.

You can't joke that way with the other Olenka, the magical vision, you can't elbow her in the ribs, in fact he's not sure what to do with her, but he can't get her out of his head. The vision turns up everywhere-on the street, especially in the evening, when he makes his way home in the dusk, and in the izba… That's how he imagines it: he opens the stiff, frozen door, steps inside. There in the dim, smoky air, in the warm pancake steam, in the midst of all the izba smells-sour, wet wool, stuffy ashes, something else familiar, homey-in the midst of all of this, there's a gleam like a feeble torch glow, and there's Olenka floating right in the air all fancy like an idol. Motionless, wrapped stiff in beads, the milky part on her head combed straight, her eyes sparkle, her eyelashes tremble, and in her gaze there's a secret and the light of a bluish candle flame.

Ugh. He can't shake it.

Well, the Golubchiks will probably celebrate the New Year Holiday dancing and feasting, and Benedikt has nothing saved up in his izba but old socks. And it's a lot of work to invite guests and feed them. What to offer them? Spring is the hungriest time. Benedikt always thins out in the spring, his ribs even stick out. All day long at work, and you had to work in the summer too- early morning in the fields to gather provisions. You get such blisters you can't hold the writing stick tight. Your hands shake and your handwriting's bad. That's why Scribes get a vacation in the summer: they're no good for work anyhow. In the summer the Scribe is like an ordinary Golubchik-a sickle on his shoulder and into the fields and glades to cut goosefoot, horsetail. Bring in the sheaves. You tie them up-lug them to the shed, and go back again, another time, once more, all over, run, run, run. While he's gone the neighbors or a stranger will filch a couple of sheaves for sure, sometimes from the field, sometimes straight from the shed. But that's all right: they steal from me, and I'll get good and mad and steal from them, those guys will steal from these guys-and so it goes in a circle. It comes out fair. Everyone steals, but everyone ends up with their own. More or less. As Nikita Ivanich says, it's a basic redistribution of personal property holdings. Maybe that's what it is.

Used to be, when Mother was still alive, the old man would drop in and chat. He took to teaching Benedikt all sorts of ideas. Think, think for yourself, young man, use your head: wouldn't it be more efficient without all this thievery? How much time and effort would be economized! How many fewer injuries there would be in the settlement! And he'd argue, and explain, and Mother would nod her head in agreement: I always tell my son the same thing, I try to explain the elamentree preeceps of more-allity. But, alas, to little effect.

More-alls are a good thing, who can argue. But good's only good if something good comes of it. Besides more-allity, there's a lot of other things in life. Depends how you look at it.

If Golubchiks didn't steal my goods-of course that's more-allity for me. Everything would be calmer.

On the other hand. Suppose a Golubchik has cut a bunch of horsetail, right? Now he has to carry it back to the izba, right? As soon as he's started, here I come by, winking at him. He's worried, of course, he covers his sheaves, hides them from me, frets, makes a mean face, furrows his eyebrows and peers out from under them. I see all this, and stand nearby, my legs spread out. I open my mouth and start teasing him: So, what's the matter Demian? Scared to lose your provisions? Is that it? Worried? That's right, you ought to be! That's the way things go, Demian, just turn your back! Right? What do you say? Worried about your stuff? Hunh!

So the Golubchik grumbles, and paces back and forth, or maybe roars at you: What're you after, you dog! Off with you or I'll tear you to pieces! And I just laugh, of course. I move over to the side, lean against the fence or whatever's there, cross my legs, have a smoke, and keep an eye on him, wink at him, drop hints here and there, just keep worrying at the Golubchik. If he doesn't have the time, he'll drop it, gather however many sheaves he can, dragging them along on his back, if his health allows, and keeping an eye out: What am I doing, have I ruined something? Have I run off with anything? Is it his? Have I relieved myself on his provisions? Wiped my nose on his valuables? I might!

You could die laughing, it's so funny! You just have to swipe at least one sheaf from a worrywart like that.

And if I give him a more-allity? Then there's no fun in it. What do you have then? Just walk by frowning, like you didn't have breakfast? Not even look at someone else's stuff? Not even dream about it? That's awful! Really terrible. After all, that's how the eyes work: they just wander around and run into other people's stuff, sometimes even pop out. Legs can trip up and still walk on by, but the eye just sticks like glue, and the whole head turns with it, and thoughts get jammed like they ran straight into a column or a wall: damn, if only that were mine! Wouldn't that be… I would…! For sure I would…! You start to drool, and sometimes it runs down onto your beard. Your fingers start moving on their own, as if they were grabbing something. There's a buzzing in your chest. It's like someone's whispering in your ear: Take it! So what? No one will see!

Well then, after all that sweat and hard work, when you've played your pranks, you store up edibles for the winter. And by the springtime you've eaten it all up. So you either take yourself to the Food Izba and eat their garbage, Golubchik, or you make do with food for the soul.

That's what they always say about booklets: food for the soul. And it's true: you start reading and your belly doesn't growl as much. Especially if you smoke while you read. Of course books are different. Fyodor Kuzmich, Glorybe, works day and night. Sometimes he writes fairy tales, or poems, or a novel, or a mystery, or a short story, or a novella, or some kind of essay. Last year Fyodor Kuzmich, Glorybe, decided to write a shopping-hower, which is kind of like a story, only you can't make heads nor tails of it. A long sucker, they read it for three months, copied it a dozen times, wore themselves to the bone. Konstan-tin Leontich bragged that he understood everything-but he always brags: everyone just laughed. So you think you understood it, Golubchik-then tell us the story: who goes where, who do they see, how're they gonna do that shopping, what hanky panky do they get up to, who do they murder? Huh? You can't? Well, there you go. It was called The World as Will and Idea. A good name, inviting. After all, you've always got a lot of ideas in your head, especially at bedtime. You wrap your coat around you so there's no draft, cover your head with a cloth, draw up one leg, stretch out the other, put your fist or your elbow under your head; then turn over, flip your pillow onto the cold side, wrap your coat up again if it slipped, toss and turn- and start to drift off.