James Kelman - Kieron Smith, Boy

My maw too, her and Auntie May, just looking to see him. I made a sound and it was a funny one like a big hiccup, oh, I was going to greet just be greeting, I was going to but just managed it, I kept it in.

It was alright after it and I was just to go away from the bed, my grannie looking at me. Oh yer granda is tired son, just say cheerio.

Well cheerio granda.

My da was there and waved to me. He took me and Matt home. My maw stayed with my grannie and Auntie May.

It was a bus from the hospital to the subway then the train. And now a Sunday so hours just waiting for everything. My da was talking about football. It was a game on television.

Matt was just quiet. He was thinking about my granda. I was too. My da said something else, whatever it was, if it was school or else if it was what, I do not know, it was no to me, it was to Matt.

Matt said stuff back to him. To do with things, I do not know, I was seeing out the train window and the people all there in their houses, how they did not know about granda and the other ones all in hospital and all in their hospital beds. People were just walking outside on the street, so if ye took away the walls in the hospital it would just be into the wards, ye would just see in, and all the people lying in their beds, all looking down at the ones on the street. Granda would just smile, that was granda, all what he done. And people would be waving up to them.

Another day after that my maw gave me money for the train and subway to my grannie's. I was trying to skip my fare but the man saw me. I was looking out the window but he came and got me. Oh I have lost my ticket.

But I had to buy one.

Lost yer ticket is just daft, I should have said something else. The man did not even speak, just held his hand out for my money.

But instead of the subway I went down and got the ferry so that was money in my pocket. My grannie gave me some too. Even on weekdays now I went to her house, I went straight after school. My maw wanted me to. My grannie went up to hospital at nighttime. I walked down the stair with her to the main road. She got a bus and I went the other way kidding on to get the subway but I did not.

And when ye got home it was good with the money in yer pocket and ye could put it in yer plank.

My maw liked me going to grannie's with granda no there, it was company for her. Sometimes Auntie May was there but sometimes she was not. She did not talk much to me just smiled a wee bit. I went after school and got my tea there. Her and my grannie were talking about Uncle Billy. He was coming back from England to see granda.

My maw always gave money for the subway. Then I got more off my grannie to go home on it, but I did not. I liked the ferry better anyway, it just took long to go but it was great at nighttime seeing the lights on the water and everything all quiet. Ye could just lean yer elbows on the rail and look out or if it was raining just in beneath the cover and yer back to the wall and it was boiling hot with the engines and the engine smell. All the ships were there that were getting built or else just sitting there in the water, all dark. But if their lights were on along the gangways and ye saw men there, just maybe their heads, they were sailors. Or if ye heard them talking and their voices came out loud although they were not shouting, or if they were laughing. And then too it was pots and pans clinking, ye heard it way down the river and thought what they were getting for their tea. It was something good. My da said how it was big steaks and ham and eggs and as many sausages as ye could eat, if ye wanted more ye just put yer hand up and the cook guy came and gave ye it. They got chips and puddings too if they wanted them. A lot of sailors did not take their puddings, they had enough with their dinner bits, potatos and whatever.

***

The boys were talking about how Mitch was no at school and we would go up and see if it was something, what it was. Two would go. So that was me and who else. Podgie. But I was first, I was Mitch's best pal. People knew that.

His maw answered the door. Oh hullo Kieron. William is away, he is down in England with his auntie and uncle.

Is he coming back?

Oh yes, it is just a wee holiday. Come on in a wee minute.

Oh no.

Just for a wee minute. What is your name? she said to Podgie.

Derek.

Oh yes, that is right.

Derek was his real name. Podgie had been in Mitch's house before, but no much. I did not want to go in now but his maw took us. Podgie was glad. People liked seeing in houses. But I went into Mitch's other times so it did not matter.

He had a room to himself because he was a single brother with all big sisters. If I had a big sister and no Matt I would have got a room to myself. It was great for all yer own stuff.

Mitch did not think it was. He wanted a brother and a big brother. He thought it would be good. But no it was not. Maybe if it was a young brother because then ye got the things, the best sides and the best drawers and all else. But no a big brother. Oh but Smiddy Matt is a good big brother.

Mitch said that. He liked Matt. If he was in my house and Matt was there Matt waved to him. Howdy Mitch. That was what he said to him, Howdy Mitch. Mitch thought that was great. He liked being in my house.

His maw let me and Podgie into his room and it was all just the usual except neat and tidy, all his pictures on the wall.

Just wait a minute, she said and went away back out. So we were just there. It was not good with Mitch no there. I did not like it. Mitch had a knife planked in below his bed. I knew where it was, if it was still there. I would never tell Podgie. Mitch had started doing model airoplanes and two were hanging on the ceiling. Podgie wanted to touch them. I did not want him to. Oh Podge you should not touch them, I said.

Oh I am no going to hurt them.

Yes but if Mitch is no here, it is his stuff.

Oh he will not care, said Podgie. He lifted one down and looked inside it and was touching all its bits and the propeller too, pushing it. Oh it does not go round.

No because it is stuck down, it is glued, it is not a real propellor.

If anything came off Mitch would hate it. He stuck it all with glue and it took ages to do it right. He showed me how to but my fingers could not do it so easy. Oh but if ye keep doing it and keep doing it, said Mitch.

But I got tired with all that stuff.

Podgie lifted another one and was looking at it then looking on top of the cupboard, then at the window and on the ledge, if anything was there. I knew Podgie and he knocked stuff so I was watching him. I would not have let him knock stuff. If he had done it, I would not have let him. Now Mitch's maw shouted on me. Oh Kieron, bring Derek through to the living room.

She had cups of milk and a piece and cheese each for us. She said, Oh sit down a wee minute.

Oh I am fine standing, I said, but Podgie sat down and started eating the piece.

Mitch's da was there reading a paper. I did not like him. He hated Mitch. Mitch said it. Mitch just hated him back. Smelly old f*****g c**t. That was what Mitch called him. I got more doings than Mitch but Mitch got punched, so that was worse. My da never punched me but it was real hard skelps, he done it to yer legs and they caved in. I did not swear at my da, even in my head. Sometimes I was going to but I did not.

If he was old maybe he would punch me. Mr Mitchell was a lot older than my da. He wore big specs and they fell down his nose, so he kept shoving them up. He waited a wee minute reading his paper then stopped and put it down. Oh hullo boys.

Hullo Mr Mitchell, I said.

Oh I know this one.

Kieron Smith.

He is William's friend, said Mrs Mitchell.

Of course ye are, he takes you in his room. Oh but you are the climber. William says you are the best climber and could climb Ben Nevis. But could you climb Mount Everest?