Barbara Angelis - What Women Want Men To Know

Earlier, I said that I wrote this book for you as a woman. And of course I also wrote it for men: any man who wants to be more successful at loving, pleasing, and living harmoniously with a woman. If you are presently in a relationship with a man and are reading these words right now, I must warn you about a temptation that will be difficult to resist – the temptation to thrust this book under his nose when he comes home tonight, or the next time you see him, and say: “Here … READ THIS! It explains everything I’ve been trying to tell you for years. Better yet, MEMORIZE IT!”

As enticing as this scenario might sound, it probably won’t be particularly effective in getting your loved one to want to read this book, and will only serve to alienate him further from the possibility. How do I know this? Men who’ve been the “victims” of my enthusiastic female fans and ended up cringing at the very sound of my name have confessed it to me, sometimes years later, when they finally recover from the trauma of hearing “Barbara says…” every five minutes!

I met such a man only a few weeks ago. I was waiting in line at a coffee store when I was approached by a friendly-looking guy in his thirties. “You’re Barbara De Angelis, aren’t you?” he asked. I told him I was, and he began to smile.

“I just had to come up to you,” he replied, “because I used to really hate you.” Noticing the look of distress on my face, he quickly continued. “I was in a relationship for two years with a woman who worshiped you. You were like her guru. She had ordered every tape and video you’ve made, she owned every book you ever wrote, and all I heard day and night was ‘Barbara said this’ and ‘Barbara thinks this about that,’ most of which, by the way, was that I was screwed up. Whenever we’d have an argument, I felt like I was in a fight with two people – my girlfriend and you! By the time we broke up, I was furious at you, and blamed you for all of my problems.

“I went through a year of disappointing dating experiences. Then, several months ago, a male friend of mine told me he’d just read a fantastic book about how to choose the right partner called Are You the One for Me? He read me a few passages on the phone one night, and everything he said made perfect sense and explained some of the mistakes I’d been making. ‘This sounds terrific,’ I told him. ‘Can I borrow the book?’ He agreed to lend it to me, and the next evening at the gym, he handed me a well-worn copy of Are You the One for Me? – with your picture on the cover! You can imagine my surprise when I found out this great book was written by the woman who had ruined my relationship with my girlfriend.

“Well, in spite of my prejudice, I did go home and read it. And of course I loved the book, and had to admit that my ex-girlfriend had been right – your stuff is great. I even called her up that week to tell her she wouldn’t believe whose book I was reading, and we had a really good conversation. So when I saw you here, I just had to come over and tell you that I don’t hate you anymore, and that actually, I think you’re wonderful!”

I gave this man a big hug, and thanked him for his delightful story. Would you be surprised if I told you that I’ve heard this same tale in different versions many times? It seems my readers, usually the female ones, sometimes use my books as intellectual weapons, and I become an unwitting ally in their attack on their partner’s behavior. Of course this approach never works, and I always feel regretful when I hear about it.

So here’s my request to you: If you are going to share this book with the man in your life, PLEASE SHARE IT LOVINGLY.Don’t shove it at him along with a sarcastic comment; don’t give it to him in the middle of an argument; don’t leave it on his pillow with a note attached that says: “You need this!” Come from a positive, instead of a negative, place, as if you’ve discovered a great treasure and want him to know about it, and he will be much more open to hearing what I have to say.

Here are some suggestions for getting your partner to read What Women Want Men to Know:

Ask him to read the “Message to Men” that follows this section. It sets the tone for the whole book, and will hopefully make him want to continue reading!

Give him a copy as a gift with a note that says: “Because I love you and always want to have a fabulous relationship and a great sex life…” For extra emphasis, include some lingerie with another note: “I can’t wait to wear this for you,” so he gets the idea that he will be rewarded for reading the book!

Read him small sections, particularly the ones marked For Men , and ask him what he thinks of the information. This will allow him to slowly become interested in the material.

Let him know you’re reading the book so you can do a better job of expressing yourself to him, and give him an example of what you’ve learned. Then he won’t feel you’re saying he is the only one who needs the book.

Arrange for one of your girlfriends to give him the book.

Read him hot tips from the sex section while you’re lying in bed, and then go back to reading. This will get him intrigued, and maybe even more…!

Leave the book in the bathroom with your favorite pages marked. Do not remove it for several weeks!

Perhaps you’re already thinking: “My partner will NEVER read this.” My response is: Don’t be so sure. I worked hard to make this book user-friendly for men, to explain things in ways that will make it easy for them to want to read more. Men know I like them, and often they can accept feedback and suggestions from me that they can’t from their own wife or girlfriend. My hope is that receiving this information about you from me will help the man you love finally hear what you’ve been trying to tell him for a long time. One thing is certain – any man who reads this book will know that my intention in writing it is to make his love life easier, less intense and dramatic, and more hassle-free. And no man can argue with those results!

How else can you share this book with men?

Give it to the boyfriends or husbands of your female friends – you know they need it, and your girlfriends will love you for it.

Send it to your former lover. Although your relationship with him is over, you will be doing a service to the next woman he is with. And if you are still interested in him, maybe it will reopen some doors.

Give it to your male friends who just can’t seem to make a relationship work. Their future partners will thank you one day!

Give it to your father. It’s not too late, and your mother will be grateful that you cared.

Give it to your son if he is old enough to appreciate it. Don’t you wish someone would have taught your mate this information when he was starting to date?

The information in this book was compiled from a combination of sources. The majority comes from several decades of working with tens of thousands of women and hearing what they wish men knew about them. As in all of my books, I’ve also added my own experiences from relationships into the mix, along with those of my close friends and acquaintances. In addition, I include hundreds of responses from a questionnaire I distributed to women over the past year. (See the back of the book for a list of the questions.)