Barbara Angelis - Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know

SECRETS

ABOUT

MEN

EVERY

WOMAN

SHOULD

KNOW

Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D.

TO JEFFREY

for teaching me that I don't have to

chase after love anymore

Cover

Title Page SECRETS ABOUT MEN EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D.

Introduction INTRODUCTION Have you ever wished that men would come with instruction booklets? If you buy a toaster, or an answer machine, it’s always accompanied by a nice little booklet that helps you understand the product, explains its features, and tells you how to avoid hurting yourself when you use it. Well what about men as women “use” men more than any other “appliances”, yet we’re expected to work out how they work all by ourselves. Every day of our lives, you and I deal with men – our husbands or boyfriends, our bosses or employers, our fathers, our sons, our friends. We try to understand them, to take care of them, to love them – and to get them to love us back. When it works, we think men are fantastic, and we’re sure we couldn’t live without them. When it doesn’t work, we think men are impossible, and that we’d be much better off never having to deal with them at all. If you’re like me, I’m sure at some point in your life you’ve thrown your hands up in frustration and felt like saying, “Send this man back to the factory – he’s defective! There must be a part missing, because he sure isn’t functioning properly,” or, “Maybe this model has been discontinued – I can’t make him work right.” As a woman you have three choices as to how you are going to deal with the men in your lifetime: Choice #1: You can get angry at the men in your life for driving you crazy and spend your time complaining about them. (This is fun for a few hours, but after a few years, it loses its attraction.) Choice #2: You can give up men entirely and buy a nice fluffy dog. (This is cheaper, and less work, but not very fulfilling.) Choice #3: You can decide to learn everything there is to know about understanding and getting along with men, so that you can have the wonderful relationships you deserve. I’ve spent the last fifteen years working with tens of thousands of men and women, learning about what makes relationships succeed and what makes them fail. It’s taken me a long time to understand men. It’s been a difficult and often painful journey – I’ve made a lot of mistakes along the way in my own relationships with men. I’m happy to say that not only have I survived, I’ve emerged from my struggle with a new understanding of men that has changed my life, and I want to share the things I’ve learned with you. I hope Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know will be the instruction manual about men that you’ve been looking for. May it help you to create the loving relationship with a man that you’ve always dreamed of.

SECRETS ABOUT HOW WOMEN RELATE TO MEN S ECRETS ABOUT HOW WOMEN RELATE TO MEN

1 Men: The Final Frontier 1 Men: The Final Frontier May you live in changing times. – Chinese curse Imagine for a moment that you’ve been chosen to be part of an expedition to another planet. All that’s known about the planet is that it is inhabited by beings whose physical appearance is similar to yours. After a long journey through space, you arrive at this faraway world. You step out of your spaceship and are greeted by pleasant-looking creatures who do indeed closely resemble your own species. Much to your amazement, they even appear to be speaking English. Over the next few hours, you attempt to talk and interact with these beings. At first, you seem to be getting along well. But as more time passes, the tension between you and them begins to mount. Even though these aliens seem to understand the English language, they constantly misunderstand your attempts to communicate with them – you say one thing, and they hear another; you try to express curiosity, for instance, and they interpret it as criticism. As you observe these beings interacting with one another, the differences between you and them become even more apparent. Your own species has been trained to value cooperation and emotional sensitivity – these beings seem always to be in competition with each other. You’ve been taught to share your feelings – they seem to work hard at hiding theirs. The more time you spend with these unusual creatures, the more frustrated you become. Finally, you and your exploration team decide to depart from this strange and unsettling place. You’re certain that these beings will be happy to see you go, since they didn’t show much enthusiasm toward you during your visit. But to your great surprise, they become very sad when you announce that you are leaving, insist that they loved the time they spent with you, and beg you not to depart. In spite of their protests, you board your spaceship, more confused than ever. And as you settle back into your seat and feel the rocket engines lift the steel craft back into space, you think to yourself, That was the strangest group of people I’ve ever met. They said one thing and felt another. They acted like they didn’t care, but they did. They didn’t seem to enjoy having us around, but were unhappy when we left. Well, they were interesting to visit, but I sure wouldn’t want to live with them.

2 The Six Biggest Mistakes Women Make with Men 2 The Six Biggest Mistakes Women Make with Men Do you ever suspect that everything you’ve been taught about how to behave with men is wrong? Do you ever do something you are sure will please a man, and feel shocked when he reacts to it so negatively? Do you ever feel that you must have received, a bad set of “instructions” for how to successfully relate to men, because nothing you try seems to work the way it’s supposed to? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re not alone. I’ve worked with thousands of women in my seminars and support groups, and most of them knew that there was something very wrong in the way they related to men but weren’t sure what was wrong or how to change it. Part of improving your relationship with a man, whether it’s your husband, your boss, your boyfriend, your father, or your coworker, is not just understanding his behavior but taking an honest look at your own behavior as well.

3 Filling in the Emotional Blanks: How to Stop Giving More Than You Get in Love Конец ознакомительного фрагмента. Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес». Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес. Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.

SECRETS ABOUT MEN Конец ознакомительного фрагмента. Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес». Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес. Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.