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Another bar opener you can use is when a girl accidently touches you in a crowded bar, a very common occurrence. Say, "Excuse me, but you touched my back. I really need a lot of personal space." They will often respond with a sarcastic apology. Follow with a scripted opener. When you are at a bar trying to get a drink and a cute girl is next to you trying to get one too, say, "I bet you I can get a drink faster than you can!" When a girl is trying to squeeze in next to you at the bar you can say, "Sorry this is my bar space―there is no room for you right now. I need a lot of space." These openers are silly but they are very effective at breaking the ice. It’s hard to go wrong with humor, though for a split second you want her to think you are serious until you crack a slight smirk. When I was first studying the game I had dozens of openers organized in a spreadsheet. But it made approaching so complex that I actually approached less. I would sit there and stare at a girl, wondering which opener was best for the particular situation. As a result I wouldn’t do anything. At this point you have two default openers that work well in most cases, the concept of the environmental opener that lets you be open anywhere you have a unique thought or opinion, and a handful of fun bar openers. That’s all you need! It’s best to keep it simple because too many options lead to paralysis.

There are other approach details you need to know besides speaking. The first is positioning. She could be alone, with friends, in a circle, in a semi-circle, facing outward, sitting on a bar stool, sitting at a table, or dancing. The perfect setup for you will be a girl, alone, standing next to the bar facing outward, smiling as you come into her view. That said, the perfect setup never happens. You will always have to do some maneuvering to place yourself in the position to approach and talk to her. The typical scenario you will face is your target talking to one or two girlfriends. If she is just with one other friend then you will have to address them both until someone else comes into the picture. (If I don’t have a friend around, I will eventually befriend a random guy to occupy the friend of my target.) Don’t let a single guy in a group of girls stop you from approaching because chances are he’s trying to bang one of the girls and would welcome another male to distract the friends. Just use your usual opener and include him in the conversation so he doesn’t get insecure and try to blow you off. If you treat the guy with respect, there is a very high chance that he will treat you with respect as well, and even assist you. In groups with guys, ask how everyone knows each other. If she happens to say something like, "And my boyfriend is over there," then you may either want to move onto her friend or politely eject. Even if the group has all girls, go ahead and ask it because they may tell you something about their background that you can use later, like a shared school or city.

Approaching a girl sitting down is tougher. Other than the walk of shame you have to perform if you fail, the fact that you are standing while she is sitting down and relaxed gives her more power than you. Regardless, deliver your standard opener like you normally would. If the interaction continues and she is giving you a positive signal by asking you questions, do a "false time constraint," one of the oldest tricks in the book. You pull up a chair, sit down, then say "I can only sit down for a minute." Then you continue the conversation like nothing happened. It will be very clear if she didn’t want you to sit down because she will shut down and stop talking to you. No big deal, just say goodbye, smile, and walk away. Under no circumstance do you ask if you can sit down. Sitting down is important because approaches in which you are standing up and she’s not have a life-span of less than 5 minutes.

Once you start talking to her, avoid the common mistakes: too much smiling when something funny wasn’t said, too much bending over when it’s not loud, and too many fast movements due to being nervous and excited. These signs indicate to a girl that the guy probably doesn’t have a lot of experience and is overly happy to be talking to her. If you find yourself doing these behaviors, slow things down and lean farther back. Not only does this act as a way for your to dissociate yourself from the interaction, but it displays the correct "I don’t care" body language. (Humans tend to go towards a person who is pulling away from them, whether it be with body language or emotions.) There will be a lot of situations with no textbook answer available to guide you. For instance, what if you are going upstairs and you see a really cute girl coming downstairs? Do you get in her way or do you make a U-turn and start stalking her? (I get in her way and playfully accuse her of going down the wrong side of the stairs.) Or how about if you approach a group of girls and the one you don’t like is chatting you up the most? Do you continue talking with her in the hopes of incorporating yourself into the group or do you shut her down early and move onto your target? (I talk to her for no more than a minute until I ask the girl I like a question that starts a new conversation). The best way to deal with the hundreds of possible situations that occur in a pick-up is to do something and then take note of the result. If the result was not favorable, try something different next time. This willingness to experiment will quickly get you up to speed with situations that happen most frequently. It is through experimentation where you discover a style of game that works best for you. One night I tried to do a little experiment with one-word openers in a large club. I stuck with a simple "Hey" or "Hi" and tried only those for the entire night. For a reason that is still not clear to me, I learned that "Hey" did a much better job than "Hi" at stopping girls and getting their attention. I run a different experiment almost every night I go out, just to see what happens and to discover the style that works best for me. It’s very possible that you are so different from me that "Hi" will actually work better than "Hey," but there is no way for you to find out unless you try them both on your own. The only time I keep experimentation to a minimum is when it counts―when I am gaming a girl that I consider above the rest. Then it’s best to use the game I already know works. If you see a girl you like and think about approaching her, you must do it, no matter how difficult or unnatural the situation may appear, even if you feel nervous and know you are going to bomb. I often find myself in a coffee shop where there is a tough approach at the table next to me. Even if I’m not in the mood and think the odds of success approach zero, I still make myself do it. Not only does this eliminate your fear of approaching over time, but it also teaches you how to deal with tough situations. It is not going to be common that a girl you like is going to be standing alone in a place without distraction where everyone knows your name. Instead she is going to be surrounded by factors that make it difficult for you, and the sooner you harden your mind to deal with these situations, the faster you will get better at them.

Before I talk about how to build attraction after the opener, I’m going to take a detour and first discuss what attitude, or vibe, girls find most attractive.

There is an optimal vibe to possess that attracts most women, one that is very effective at hitting their attraction buttons. No matter what you look like or what game style you implement, it gives you the most bang for your time and energy buck, eliminating the need to make game adjustments for different types of girls. It’s what you see in many successful players. Let’s call it "The Vibe."