Roosh h Valizadeh - Bang, or more lays in 60 days

It started Spring of 2001. I was 21-years-old and spent my free time on the computer reading message boards or playing games. I had no skill with women, and the ones I knew either used me for my brain to tutor them or as an emotional tampon to feel better about the guys who didn’t take their shit. I remember thinking how stupid these other guys were to make such pretty, nice girls upset. Don’t they realize these girls will probably stop talking to them? My friends were unsuccessful with women too, so we all reinforced our lack of skill during all-night games of Risk or poker. I wanted to get out of this cycle but felt I had little control to make a change.

I observed other guys and concluded that success with women was a skill you were born with. Then there was one girl I started to like in my organic chemistry class. She was Persian, same age as me, with long, curly hair and olive skin. We would study together in groups and I could swear she was giving me extra attention. I analyzed the situation with my nice guy friends and we all concluded that she did like me as more than a friend. After a couple weeks of hesitation, I finally asked her out on a casual date to the movies. She said she couldn’t because she was very busy. Weeks later I’d see her around campus holding hands with another guy. Instead of listening to lame love songs like I usually did, for the first time I got angry. A lifetime of frustration and not getting what I wanted became focused on this one girl. I was bitter that I, a nice guy, was getting passed over for guys who I thought were losers. So I started to ignore her. If I did end up talking to her, I would cut our conversation short. When she would ask me to study I’d lie and say I was studying alone, only for her to find my study group up late at night in the library. I started feeling good for treating her poorly. I hated her and everything she stood for, which was my failure with women. But then something interesting happened: she started making a strong effort to gain my attention and favor. It was like the harder I pulled away, the closer she would come to me. This was the first time I noticed that changing my behavior can affect how girls react to me.

Soon it would become clear that interacting with women wasn’t very different from the games I’d play with my nice guy friends, where changing tactics and strategies yield different results. At about the same time, I clicked a random link on a business forum and stumbled onto something called Tony’s Lay Guide. It was the best accident of my life. This guide had tips on how to approach women, how to talk to them, how to kiss them, and how to have sex with them. I immediately printed the entire guide in case the site went offline. It reinforced to me the idea that you can learn how to get better, that you aren’t doomed to a life of infrequent sex just because you weren’t born a natural. I studied the guide for two months before I actually did anything. It was May 2001 when I approached a girl for the first time in the line of a club. I talked to her for half an hour and got her number, to the surprise of me and my friends. It was probably beginner’s luck, but this first success sold me on the idea that studying the game was a worthy cause. That’s usually how it starts for most guys getting into game: a random discovery followed by a first success or initial high when they do something they’ve never done before.

What is it that you want right now? Maybe you want to lose your virginity, sleep with a certain number of girls, find true love, or get a threesome. Or maybe you have goals that are more difficult to measure, like building confidence, becoming more outgoing, or becoming a better speaker. Whatever you goal is, it’s best to express it in a statement that will act as your guide and motivational force. Think of it as a corporation’s mission statement, that no matter what happens and what local creek is being polluted, you can look at it and remember what’s really important.

A lot of people set a goal, try half-heartedly to work on it for a month or two, realize it is difficult to accomplish, and then switch goals or quit altogether. But it’s a good goal if you aren’t sure you can do it or not―it’s a bad one if you are 100% sure you can. It should be a goal where you need to seek outside knowledge or acquire new skills. If it’s not hard, like most things in life, it’s not worth doing. There are two parts to every goal you set out to conquer: the journey to the goal and the accomplishment of the goal itself. The journey is where you learn, innovate, attempt, and put yourself through tough situations for the first time. This is where real growth takes place. (Sometimes accomplishing the goal gives you less satisfaction and pleasure than the little successes that preceded it.) And if you don’t quite reach your goal, that’s okay too. The journey makes the concept of failure a gray area because you will be putting yourself through changes that leave you with more knowledge on how to succeed than when you first started. You can "fail" all your life but still have accomplished much more than those who didn’t try. There have been volumes written on goal-setting that make it more complicated than it needs to be. Keep the process easy but effective by structuring your goal in this format: "I am going to ___________." Now write that on a small piece of paper or a note card. Put it in you wallet, next to your computer monitor, on your bathroom wall, or any place where you will see it at least once a week. Visualize the goal when you see your words to ready your mind for the work ahead.

Some productivity experts recommend you attach a deadline to your goal. For example: "I am going to sleep with a mother and daughter team within six months." I don’t advise doing this because the game is so unpredictable and quirky that time goals can be discouraging during the inevitable cold streak. As you gain skill, there will be periods where you sleep with multiple girls in a short amount of time, followed by nothing for several months. A strong desire to accomplish your goal that motivates you to act is enough.

Before you dive in and read this book, I have to warn you that the journey is difficult and often disappointing. Is it worth it? Yes, without a doubt. The payoff for you will be better quality women and more power and confidence to get them. But it will not come without work on your part.

You will need to interact with a very large number of women in different situations and environments. It’s not enough to just talk to the women you normally come into contact with at work or school―like a salesman you need to make cold calls to get leads, in the form of approaches. You will go to the bars and clubs and bookstores to meet women. You will talk to them everywhere, always practicing and experimenting. You will follow-through with them, call them on the phone, spend money on dates, and try to bang them. You will maintain your stable like a sheep herder maintains his flock. You will put in your energy, your life-blood, into a game that may leave you mentally exhausted. You will deal with rejections, flakes, and temper tantrums that are negative and discouraging. You will spend time studying the game and taking notes, breaking down your encounters with women. And you will spend time creating material on your own. A large component in becoming successful with women is time. You will not turn into an player overnight. The best analogy I can make to describe the game is body building. Within a short amount of time training you will see quick gains and experience fast confidence boosts, followed by peaks and valleys where you lose or gain muscle mass depending on how motivated or healthy you are. There is no end to body building, but there is a time when you look at the mirror and say, "I’m happy with what I see."