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The alpha male lives in his own reality. He leads interactions in a way that he prefers by controlling the tempo and initiating the escalations. He believes it is in a woman’s nature to submit to a strong man. He understands that if he does not worry about his needs, then the girl will not worry about them either. He does not let the woman lead the interaction because it will result in her getting what she wants (attention and validation) at his expense.

The alpha male has high expectations of women. He does not do nice things for them without expecting something in return. He expects a girl who has his attention to be physically attractive, interesting, and sexually secure. If a girl told him that she will have sex only after months of dating, he would not pursue her. He makes it clear that he is not here to service her with free alcohol or food. Everything she gets from him is earned.

Most importantly, the alpha male is always willing to walk away. His power over women lies in the time and energy he chooses to spend with them. He understand that this mindset will be noticed by the women he meets, who will treat him with care and respect. He makes it clear, by controlling the amount of attention he gives, that he does not tolerate disrespectful or frigid behavior. If she does not like his attitude, she is free to find someone else who will put up with her, because he knows that there are many women who do know how to behave. No matter how much work he has put into a certain woman, he will not hesitate to drop her if she is not responding in the way that he wants.

The willingness to walk away, above all others, does more to tell a woman of your high value than any amount of money can. You must be prepared to follow through and fully believe you will never see or hear from her again because women know when you are faking. Just like Robert DeNiro in Heat, you must be ready to leave without hesitation. While many girls will not chase you back, the ones who do will respect your terms and dive into your reality. In the end, that is what the game is about―getting what you want in the way you want, without having to sacrifice your beliefs or values. No man turns alpha overnight, but after a short amount of time, by adopting the alpha male beliefs, you will notice that both women and men treat you more positively and with more respect. One of the fastest ways to become alpha is to study one, just like how Jane Goodall would study the silverback in the wild. Watch how he interacts with people and take note not just of his words but how he says them. Since asking someone how they accomplish something is less valuable than observing it with your own eyes, you don’t even have to talk to him personally to learn from his behavior.

Sometimes the only difference between alpha and beta males is the intent, not the behavior. For example they both can be seen paying for dates or holding a door open, but beta males do these things to please and impress women, while the alpha male does them because they make him feel good or they help achieve his goals. I don’t buy a drink for a woman on a date to please her, I buy it to loosen her up. I don’t call in two days after getting her number because I’m afraid she will forget about me, I call because that is when I want to talk to her. The reason why you do things, your intent, is automatically subcommunicated to women. A woman knows if you are trying to impress her or not.

In the celebrity world where the famous actors and musicians are making millions of dollars, why is that that a handful of guys such as Lenny Kravitz, Matthew McConaughey and Leonardo Di Caprio always get the hottest women? It can’t be their money because all their other male peers have it too. And it can’t be their looks because most of Hollywood is blessed with beautiful genetics. It is because they are alpha males. Because of that they have their pick of the most beautiful women in the world.

Once you start practicing the game and learning from your experiences, you can make quick adjustments that increase your results immediately. But your mind is much slower to change. It lags months behind your experience and needs constant reinforcement for the correct beliefs to stick. You can tell yourself you are willing to walk away a hundred times, but until you actually do it, your mind won’t believe you. Live out the behaviors as if you believe them until you really believe them. Internal game is the first thing you need to start working on, but it’s the last thing that you will master.

The approach is the most important part of the game. If you master only one skill, it should be the approach. No matter how much of a loser you are right now, learning to approach will automatically increase what you have gotten before. There are girls out there right now who will sleep with you, while both conscious and sober, but not until you approach them. Even if you approach with absolutely zero game, with not even the ability to construct a complete sentence, there is going to be at least one girl out of many who will bang you because you happened to catch her at the right moment. Until guys set aside their insecurities and limitations and accept that they need to get this part of their life handled, the fear of rejection is a big monster that looms in the back of their mind. Approaching a random girl without any introduction, completely cold, may seem insane, nerve-racking, and impossible. The reason for these feelings is because men have evolved to not approach. In the book Mean Genes, the authors reflect back to the time when our ancestors lived in tribes of a few dozen people. Everyone in the tribe was connected in some way, so making a move on a certain girl without getting reciprocation back ensured you would be gossiped about and ridiculed. At worst, approaching a girl who is having sex with a powerful member of the tribe meant ejection from the group and possible death. Therefore, it was a bad idea to approach unless you were very sure the girl already liked you. Our tribal history is millennia past, but men still operate as if we lived in these small groups. Unless men get very positive signals that a particular girl likes them, they do absolutely nothing. The fact that this fear of approaching is hardwired into our brain becomes obvious when you ask any man to walk up to a hot woman and say hello. Without even thinking about it, his heart starts beating faster, his face flushes red, and his mind fills with worry. He will hesitate and make up excuses on why he can’t do it. We can’t change our genes so there will always be some fear, but the result of getting ostracized and sent off to die is no longer cause for inaction. With some guys it’s not just a fear of approaching women, but a fear of talking to them as well. Shyness is a trait that many guys who are unsuccessful with women possess. But when it comes to shyness, genetics are no match for environmental pressure. While your genes determine your shyness level, you can overcome it by persistently taking social risk until the fear becomes just a low-level annoyance. What is great about the game is that it serves to rid you of your shyness while simultaneously increasing your skill with banging women. Short of seeing a therapist and taking mind-altering drugs that have dubious effects, the smartest course of action is to face your fear head-on. I don’t care if your heart is about to explode from your chest, if your face is redder than a tomato, if you can barely breathe, or if you’re on the floor having a seizure while foaming out the mouth ― you are going to look a girl in the eyes, open your mouth, and say words. If you cannot do this ― if you cannot contract your vocal cords to produce sound in the presence of another human being, then you may want to contemplate building a cabin in the woods where no girl will bother you.