Roosh h Valizadeh - Bang, or more lays in 60 days

Not more than 10% of men have the innate ability to talk to girls, build attraction, and rack up more notches in a year than most men get in their lifetimes. To them, playing the game is not work―it’s like hanging out with friends. For reasons you can maybe trace to their genes, parents, or childhood, they became very good with women, and possess a skill so ingrained that they can’t even explain what it is they do. So what options do the other 90% have, like myself? Do I settle for a fat, ugly woman? Do I wait until I meet a homely girl at work to marry? Do I get rich in the hopes that I can use my wealth to land a hot but shallow girl? Or do I study the game like I would study a subject in school? You don’t need to be born with game―like sailing or motorcycle riding you can become proficient at it with practice and training. If you think you have flaws that prevent you from becoming good, realize that the naturals have flaws as well. When guys see me approach pretty girls in a bar with ease, they don’t attribute my ability to years of practice; they tell me I was born to do this, perhaps to make it easy for them to rationalize their lack of action. Fact is I got good at it using old-fashioned hard work.

"Look, I’m sure with some work I can be good at the game, but I just want to find one girl who is hot and nice. I don’t want to spend every week in some smoky club talking to a lot of snobby bitches."

This is a statement I hear often from men who believe that they should get an immediate return on their game investment. But just like with stocks, it takes time to see any meaningful return, especially since hot and nice girls are always in high demand. There is a very long line of guys out there who are willing to do almost anything to be with quality girls, you included. What do you bring to the table? Can you attract her better than another man? Why should she sleep with you? Unless you answered, "Because my game is tight and I think I’m the shit," you’re not going to get her. Simply being nice to her in hopes she wants to bang is not going to work. While she may not want a player, she does want a quality man who is experienced and knows what he’s doing. It’s important to realize that it will take a significant investment on your part before you start getting quality girls.

Talk to anyone about getting better with girls and the word "confidence" will be tossed out quickly. Confidence is believing you are capable, deserving, and worthy of success. A confident man dives into situations that are critical to his goals, regardless of his perceived chance of failure. He rarely shows fear or hesitation. His power is visible, with shoulders back and eyes up to face what crosses his path. When you interact with a confident man, you become drawn into him not only because you think he is successful, but because you think you will succeed just by spending time with him. Experience gives you confidence because experience makes you capable. Once you are capable, you no longer go into situations fearful expecting failure. Instead, you feel good about your odds. This is why the phrase "fake it ‘till you make it" is popular in self-improvement circles; until you get "real" confidence that results from an increasing amount of success, "fake" your confidence and attempt enough experiences that will eventually lead to that success. How can you go from zero confidence to having enough to approach beautiful women? The best way is to be successful with women. Nothing gives you more confidence than banging a hot girl. If you are not there yet, the other way is to improve how you look. There are no other ways!

Earlier I discussed that appearance is not that important. This is still true when it comes to attracting girls, but a relative improvement in your appearance will give you a short-term confidence boost. This boost helps you do things like approach girls. You goal is to improve your self-image with a change that puts you in a better mood to approach and game. This can be in the form of lasting improvements like working out at the gym (a very reliable confidence booster), or more superficial changes that gets you excited about going out, like changing your hair style, growing facial hair, or buying a new outfit. Right now you only need enough confidence to make that first cold approach. Then you build off that first approach to push further, until you are approaching higher quality girls in tough situations. Very soon your confidence comes from minor successes that give you the motivation and drive to continue. Even things like having a two-minute conversation with a bombshell is a success that you will build off of. The confidence boost gets you in the game, but it’s the sexual successes which keeps you in, giving you a more permanent confidence that lasts. Your confidence will build like a snowball rolling down a hill.

If you’ve ever watched The Discovery Channel, you’ve seen a program featuring the gorilla species with ample footage showing how the silverback male performs doggy-style on the females in his tribe. There is also footage of the beta gorillas masturbating in the corner. In the ape world, the alpha male’s dominance comes from his large physical size, a trait female gorillas select for. (If this were true for humans, the only guys getting laid would be ‘roid monsters.) Beta male gorillas accept their low position until they are ready to take a risk, either by challenging the silverback or by starting their own tribe. The alpha / beta hierarchy is not much different in humans. Beta males accept their low position and let the minority of alpha males bang most of the desirable women until they are ready to work on becoming alpha themselves. Back when humans lived in tribes, there were no books or tools to teach them about human psychology, behavior, or seduction. If you were a beta when you hit puberty, chances are you’d be a beta for life. But now that the right behaviors and attitude can be identified and studied, it is easier for today’s man to become an alpha male.

First let’s take a look at your average beta male. His number one defining trait is a fear of going after his desires. He does not go after what he wants because he does not think he is capable of getting it. He worries about other people’s needs before his own. He quietly accepts being disrespected. He seeks out his identity in areas that are unrelated to his masculinity, like his cubicle job. He is passive in bed and waits for permission before escalating intimacy. He rationalizes his failure with women and life by attributing it to reasons outside of his control. He believes the best way to be successful with women is having model looks and lots of money. The alpha male lives much differently. First and foremost, he does what he wants to do. He does not concern himself with personal rejection or social failure. His needs, wants, and feelings come before anyone else’s. No one’s judgments, dirty looks, opinions, or laughter is going to stop him from getting what he wants. He does not ask for permission. If he wants to have sex with a girl, he will use his knowledge and skills to try to have sex with her. His actions stem from desire instead of insecurity. The alpha male does not qualify himself. He does not explain his faults or failures. He accepts himself, for better or worse. He does not brag about his success. He does not need to be validated by a woman because he knows that she cannot give him what he cannot give himself. Criticism or praise has only a temporary effect on him because he already has accepted his strengths and weaknesses. The alpha male does not care about what other people think of him. He presents himself in a way that makes him feel most comfortable. He picks up on something because he likes it and it fits him best, not because it’s a trend or something he is "supposed" to do. He does not look in the mirror every ten minutes to fix his hair. He does not concern himself with getting fake tans or body hair waxes. The alpha male does not make apologies for being a man who has sexual needs. He does not hide his intentions with women, so that they know and are able to provide him with what he wants. If a woman is not comfortable with sex, he will move on and find one that is. He is not going to wait for a woman to serve his needs. He is not concerned if a woman rejects him in the bedroom―if he does not get it from her, he will get it from someone else. As a sexual being, he expects women to be sexual as well.