Roosh h Valizadeh - Bang, or more lays in 60 days

When I was a little kid, I used to run and grab at my mother’s leg whenever a stranger was present. If I could get over my extreme shyness with hard work, anyone can. I have no sympathy for a man who can’t put himself through uncomfortable situations to get what he truly wants. If he can’t do this for himself, he does not deserve the sympathy of those who did go through the hardship, pain, and discomfort.

With any task you do, whether it be related to women or sports or any type of game, there are a certain number of times you must fail until you succeed. Each act of failure puts you one step closer to success. During an important presentation at work in front of thirty scientists, I interchanged the words lactose and lactate several times. This is akin to showing up at a meeting in the Oval Office without wearing pants. While I was embarrassed afterwards, it taught me simple but essential rules of how to plan and construct a presentation for educated professionals. With each presentation, I got better and better, until I was the preferred person to present data generated by our group. But without those initial mistakes, I wouldn’t have been able to polish my skills. Not doing anything may prevent you from failure, but because you make no attempt, it prevents you from success as well. This principle is especially important when it comes to women because you need to rack up a boatload of rejections to understand how to be really good with them. I have been rejected more than most guys I know, but I have also been with more women than most guys I know. You try more, you get more―there is no secret to it. The number of attempts you have to make to reach a level of success goes down as you gain experience and skill. For example when I first started, I had to approach around twenty girls to get a single number. Now I need to approach maybe three. I improved because I learned from all those prior rejections. At the time those rejections stung and I didn’t feel that great about myself, but now they are fodder for humorous stories. The human brain does an amazing job downplaying failure while glorifying success. The second reason I’m a fan of rejection is because it maximizes your results. The most uncomfortable rejection I can think of is the head-turn when you go in for a kiss. This usually leads to a very awkward moment, more so than when a girl blows you off during an approach. But now I believe the head-turn isn’t a bad rejection because it means you are not wasting kisses. If you never got rejected trying to kiss a girl, it means there are several girls you could have kissed but didn’t, only because you didn’t try. Rejection tells you that you are pushing to get all that you can. A man who doesn’t get rejected is one that is not reaching his true potential. Rejection also tells you exactly where you stand with a particular girl. There is no other better way to tell if a girl likes you or not than by seeing if she doesn’t mind your tongue down her throat. The information you get by taking the encounter farther is much more valuable than advice you may receive from friends who don’t know all the subtle details of the relationship. In college during exam days I would hear a lot of excuses as tests were being distributed. People didn’t sleep enough, or they didn’t have time to study as much as they wanted. A lot of my classmates were scared that if they really studied hard and gave it their all―and still did poorly on the test―that it would be a rejection of their intelligence. So they went through college never knowing the limits of their test-taking ability. This type of protective strategy only served to soothe their egos. Right now you have to decide if you are going to concern yourself with protecting your ego or maximizing your results. When you get rejected by a girl, there is only one thought that should be in your head: "It’s her loss." Even if you said the lamest shit in the world or accidentally spilled your drink on her, it is still her loss. If you tripped in front of her and she laughed at you, it is her loss. You need to adopt this mindset for a few reasons. First, it prevents you from dwelling on bad encounters while there are still other opportunities around you. A rejection should not end your night prematurely. Second, it increases your perceived value. Say "It’s her loss" enough times and your brain can’t help but believe it, and soon you will start expecting girls to work harder to gain your attention. Finally, it prevents you from wanting to change your game after a particularly bad encounter. If you have a solid line that bombs on one girl, and you don’t think it is her loss, you may be tempted to remove that line from your game even though it works most of the time. The guys who wish to avoid rejection the most happen to have the most pride. They think, "Why should I approach her and maybe get rejected when she’s just a stupid bar rat who happens to be attractive?" But if he is confident with his standing and ability, there is no reason for him to care about what a random girl thinks. Pride is just another defense mechanism to protect the ego―it gives men an excuse to avoid failures that may cause embarrassment or discomfort. Guys with pride are actually hiding their fear of rejection behind a "too cool for school" air that fools only them. A lack of pride teaches you to be a humble student, someone who accepts short-term failure for long-term success. A man without pride understands that rejection is okay because not every girl is able to quickly notice his many positive qualities during an approach. Even though most of your approaches won’t result in sex, you have to do them anyway. You must go into situations knowing that odds are you will fail. You have to accumulate enough experience so that you will be 100% prepared for the times it will lead to something. You have to make those ten long-shot approaches to get the one that turns out to be easier than it looked. As you do rack up experience, avoid letting your historical averages dictate your behavior. It’s common to think something like, "Well historically I have done poorly in this type of situation so I’m not going to do it this time." Historical averages are not telling of future results because your skill level will always be changing; a specific approach you bombed at a couple months ago may be easy for you today. Taking advantage of as many opportunities as you can ensures that success is not wasted.

It’s easy for a guy to psyche himself out from an approach by imagining the worst possible scenario and how awful it would feel. This is more than enough to stop guys dead in their tracks, praying that the girl has more balls than he has and approaches him instead (she won’t). The typical negative outcome from an approach is usually very benign, but I can tell you what happens in the worst-case scenario because it happened to me once in Baltimore, Maryland. A great training ground for practicing game is in the mega-clubs of Baltimore where the vibe is more friendly to players than other East Coast cities I’ve been to. One of the biggest clubs in Baltimore is a place called Hammerjacks, a former rock music venue that shut down and reopened as a dance club.

One night my friends and I were doing our usual thing of grinding with random girls. After the club closed we milled outside where club-goers congregate until the cops send everyone home. It was here you’d see a type of Hail Mary game where guys gave one last and often unsuccessful push to get in a girls pants. In this parking lot I decided to try some new material I had thought of. I walked up to a cute white girl standing by herself and said, "Wow, you look drunk!"

After the words came out, I wondered why I thought this would be a good opener, but it was too late. She got angry and said, "I’m tired of guys treating me like shit tonight. What the fuck is wrong with you?"