СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски - Umseshi Obucayi. Umseshi omnandi

– Yebo, imbuzi endala, uyitholile. – Ngathatha umakhalekhukhwini wami ngathumela i-SMS kubaba. Ngemuva kwalokho wangena endlini wanikeza umama wakhe inothi. Wayefunda futhi emhlikihla.

Agibele. Sizokubuyisela. Futhi akulona izwi ngokuqhubeka kukababa. Ngiyitholile?

– Impela, mama, ngiyaqonda… Futhi ake sithathe ingulube kumphathi omkhulu, ahh? waphakamisa.

– Uyini? Kumele senze konke ngokuya ngomthethosisekelo nangobulungiswa.

– Ungikhihla ngokungabi nangqondo?

– Ungumqondisi. Wazi kangcono. Futhi ngokwakhe uzolungisiswa phambi kukaNkulunkulu.

– Ingabe yileya elengiswe odongeni ehhovisi?

– Cishe. Lapho kulenga u-Iron Felix, iPhini lakhe. Kulungile, hamba wenze umsebenzi wakho wesikole.

– ngenzile. Mama, ngingahamba ngizohamba ngezinyawo emfuleni?

– Hamba, kepha khumbula, umdlwane: shona, ungafiki ekhaya. Ngizokubulala… Ngabe ngiyakubulala?

– Yebo. – U-Izzy wamemeza wanyamalala ngemuva komnyango…

– Uuh, – umlawuli, ongowokuzalwa kwelinye ipulazi elihlanganyele laseLatvia, unikine ikhanda, evumela izivakashi ukuba zidlule. – Akunanembeza, kusobala ukuthi ubuso abuwona owaseRussia, futhi kudonsa umfaniswano jikelele.

– Futhi kukhona isijeziso sokuphatha ngaso.. – Wachaza uSergeant Golytko, ongowokuzalwa eLviv.

– Nali iphasiphothi lami, elines screech, uHarutun Karapetovich futhi wamnikeza ipenta. – Russian. NgingumRussia, wami!

– Njengami, – engeza ipenti

– Nami. – Ukuhlukumeza amehlo akhe, umlawuli ungezile.

– Kulungile, unempilo. – Iphasiphothi lamaqabunga lalihlaba umkhosi, – noma owesibili, – wawubukeka ungaphansi kwamabunzi, – ungumculi? – ngamehlo anemibala eminingi, emva kwalokho wehlise ukubuka kwakhe ukutadisha ezindlebeni, – noma ku-zoophile?

Amehlo ka-Ottila aqhephuka futhi wabambana njengethanga, ebuka i-Intsefalopat. I-Corporate reded.

– Well, stitch, yiziphi izinkomo edonsa wena, noma isiko lasekhaya? – isikhonzi sinikeze uHarutun ipasipoti.

– Ngingumculi onjani? Angisiye umsizi wesikhathi esigcwele edolobhaneni lasendaweni Sokolov Stream, eLeningrad Region.

– O, hlangazwa, phuma lapha. – kuphakanyiswa isikhulu somsebenzi.

– Nayi i-ID yami.

– Corporate, uthi? – lo msakazi wahlafuna esihlathini sakhe wafaka imbewu emlonyeni wakhe. – kahle, ukhululekile, futhi lona uzofika nami.

– Kusho ukuthini ukuthi, «woza nami»? -uBedbug wathukuthela. – Ake ngibize umphathi wami manje? Uzobeka ubuchopho bakho…

– Uyabiza, ufonela lapho, ehhovisi lami, futhi ekuqaleni ngikuvivinya ukuthi useshe, mhlawumbe ungumphekula wakwaChechen noma uphunyuke kubazali bakho. Wozani, asihambe. inceku yathuka futhi yamane yamdubula: kungaba nge-butt noma ngesigajana, u-Ottil wayephathwe naye isibhamu sokuhlaselwa esitimeleni sikaloliwe isiteshi sesitimela. U-Ancephalopath wamlandela futhi wafuna ngisho nokuhamba nomlilo ne-Ottila yakhe, njengoba kwakubukeka sengathi uKlop, wanyamalala ngokushesha ngemuva kwekholamu futhi wenza sengathi akamazi uKlop.

– UHarutun, shayela u-Isolde, makamlethe imibhalo! – kumemeza uKlop.

«Futhi masishane,» kunezela lo mshushisi, «uma kungenjalo uzohlala nathi isikhathi eside.»

– Futhi izokhishwa nini? kubuza uHarutun.

– Ungamsungula kanjani umuntu…

– Izinsuku ezintathu? – ikhehla lamamatheka.

– Noma mhlawumbe iminyaka emithathu. – kuphendule umlindi. – Uma engeke amelane nabaphathi. – wabe eshaya umnyango usuka ngaphakathi.

U-Incephalopath, ngeminwe yesandla sakhe sobunxele, wagoba isilevu sakhe esincane, kwathi esakhula ngaphansi kwempumulo, wanquma ukwenza lo msebenzi, owamfanela yena neBoss lakhe. Waphuma ngokushesha esiteshini wangena emgwaqweni futhi ngokushesha wema.

– Ngiyaphi? UHarutun wazibuza.

– Ku-Isolde, wena siphukuphuku. – uphendule ngokwethuka izwi elingaphakathi.

– Ngakho-ke ayikho imali? Ngizoya kuphi?

– Futhi wena, ngenxa yesithandwa sakho, yeba, lapho, kuleya ndoda ebheke fat ehleli jeep emnyama.

– Uyamshaya ebusweni. Futhi akufanele, ngiyi pent?!

Futhi ngenkathi uHarutun ebonisana nezwi lakhe langaphakathi, uKlop, enikeze imininingwane yakhe, wavuka ngesizotha ngenkathi ehleli monkey.

– Sawubona bum, fart enhle! – Kumemeza isikhonzi. U-Ottila wababaza wavula amehlo akhe amangele. Wavuma umlomo wakhe, lapho ezizwa eshibilika emlonyeni wakhe, wazama ukuqoqa amathe nolimi, kepha kwakungekho manzi emlonyeni wakhe futhi wacela ukuya endlini encane.

– Uzakwethu, ngingakwazi ukusebenzisa indlu yangasese?

Abadala bamphendula kahle bathi, «kungenzeka, kodwa uma uyigeza.»

– Kungani? – U-Ottila wathukuthela, – Ngingumboshwa, kepha unenenekazi lokuhlanza esifundeni sakho futhi udinga ukugeza phansi.

– Kufanele kodwa kungaphoqelekile ukuthi igeze i-dolnyak ngemuva kokunuka okunjalo kwabantu abangenamakhaya. Hhayi-ke, kanjani?

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.