СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски - Umseshi Obucayi. Umseshi omnandi

UHarutun wahlikihla amehlo akhe ngenxa yokwesaba futhi wakhala izinyembezi zokungazi.

– Uxolo, ikhareji, hhayi inhlamvu ifakiwe emkhombeni, kodwa kufakwe ikheji.

– Kulungile-ke yizwa, malini, engizokuchaza ngamafuphi: Eeee… Ngabe ufunde uGogol?

– Waphuza i-mogul.

– Uyangidina?

– Kwakuhlekisa. Ngabuka amafilimu ngokubamba kwakhe iqhaza.

– Kuhle lokho. Ubuke i-movie ekhuluma nge-NOS?

– Mayelana nekhala likabani?

– Hhayi-ke, hhayi eyeyakho? … – U-Ottila weqa etafuleni, – Humor futhi?

– Mnn, yebo! – ikhehla lasukuma laqashelwa. U-Ottila wabheka ubuhle benkampani yakhe, ngamehlo aqwayiza, waphakamisa ikhanda, waphonsa ikhanda lakhe ekugcineni wabona kuphela ukulala okuphelele.

– Hlala fucking!! wamemeza. I-Corporate yayihleli kahle.

– Ngakhumbula. I-cartridge… kulapho indoda ilahlekelwa khona ekhaleni…

– Uyakhunjulwa?

– Kunjalo!!

– Ngakho-ke sizomfuna. Ngokwakhe … – Futhi u-Ottila wadonsa umunwe ophahleni. – ungibuze isigamu sosuku. Ucele kakhulu ukuthi nami uqobo ngiluphathe lolu daba. Ngakho-ke, ukukhuluma, kwathatha ukuzilawula.

– uNkulunkulu?

– Hhayi, wena sithutha, Marshal. Nuuu, unkulunkulu wethu. Uveze ukuthi akekho umuntu omubi ngokwedlula lokhu… – U-Ottila wagxumela emadolweni, wama ngezinyawo futhi wasilawula lesi simo.

– Futhi sizomfuna kanjani. Le ndaba?! Ngaphezu kwalokho, bafa.

– Bangobani?

– Hhayi-ke, laba, abalingiswa abaphambili bafa kudala… futhi uGogol ungufakazi ophambili, okufanayo… kahle, ufile.?! Lokhu akuwona amahlaya.. Ahhh?

– Isiwula. – Isiphazamisi sigxume kusuka ezingubeni ze-Incephalopath. -Sizofuna itshe lesikhumbuzo ebhodini lethusi elebiwe. Kubantu abangenakhaya noma izingwegwe. Kunjalo nje, isikhumbuzo esiya eNOSU, futhi mhlawumbe… izindawo zakudala.!?

– Futhi ubani ozohlala lapha?

– U-Isolde no-Izzy abaphambili.

– Ngabe usemncane?

– Akukho lutho oluncane, ngangivele ngazi umuntu wesifazane eminyakeni yakhe.

– Ukuze uthole lokhu, ingqondo eningi ayidingekile: yibeka, ukhafule wahamba…

– Uyazi kanjani, wazi kanjani…

– Cha, mlondeli, bengingahlala, inhliziyo yami ibuthakathaka…

– Akukho lutho, lapha eSt. Petersburg uzophefumula amagesi futhi ukhululeke.

UHarutun wayefuna ukusho okuthile ukuthi azohlala nonkosikazi kaKlop, kodwa waba nomcabango futhi wabheka lo msila onamakhwapha amabili edolweni lakhe futhi wacindezela lesi sinambuzane endwangu yebhulukwe lakhe ngesithupha sakhe.

– Yini obefuna ukuyikhipha? – ngokubhuqa, ekhwehlela amehlo akhe, kubuza u-Ottila.

– Anginayo imali noma umuthi.

– Yebo, lokho kuyathengiseka. Konke kukhokha isabelomali. Uma sithola ikhala.

– Futhi uma singayitholi?

– Futhi uma singayitholi, khona-ke zonke izindleko zizodonswa… kuwe.

– Kanjani?

– Kanjalo. Uma usabuza imibuzo yobuwula, ungalahlekelwa ngumsebenzi wakho. Ngiyitholile?

– Kulungile, kuyaqondakala. Sihamba nini?

– Umbuzo oyisiphukuphuku. Kufanele ngabe sesikhona. Asihambe manje!

– Futhi yini maduze? Angizange ngiphathe ipotimende lami?

– Kufanele siyigcine ilungile ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ubuwazi lapho uwuthola khona umsebenzi… By the way, into efanayo…

– Yini?

– Angizange ngiphathe ipotimende lami. Yebo, asizidingi. Lapho ufika, thenga okudingayo. Nginekhadi lasebhange.

– Futhi uma imali ingekho?

– Uyophonsa. – Kuphinde futhi iphoyisa lesifunda lafaka umunwe ophahleni futhi ngesitayela se-pygmy lasuka, lisebenzisa izikhathi ezithile, etafuleni, liphakamisela unyawo phambi kwakhala likazakwabo. Wasondela ezinyaweni zakhe wawela etafuleni ngezinyawo ngendlela eqonde e-Arutun eya esihlalweni sakhe. Izinyembezi futhi zingena ekhanda zizophuma.

– Uhleli ini? asihambe! – wasula isandla sakhe, – futhi, kwaba sengathi ngomgwaqo waseSt. Petersburg, wakhukhula uMhlaba…

Bashiya inqaba, bashiya inothi kuphela ku-chalk emnyango:

«Ungakhathazeki. Sesiphumile esabelweni esiphuthumayo eSt. Petersburg. Uhlala endaweni ye-Incephalate, ne-Izya – esikhundleni sami.. Me!»

Futhi ezansi kukhona ukwengeza komunye umbhalo wesandla:

«Uxolo Pupsik, ngizobuyela njengoba kufanele! Ngenkathi uFlea wakho ehamba. Ngilinde futhi ngibuye. Mhlawumbe eyodwa…»

U-Izya wafunda lo mbhalo futhi, ebhala ephepheni elibhalwe ngesandla sikayise no-Intsefalopat, walifihla ephaketheni lakhe wayesula okubhaliwe emnyango.

– Yebo, imbuzi endala, uyitholile. – Ngathatha umakhalekhukhwini wami ngathumela i-SMS kubaba. Ngemuva kwalokho wangena endlini wanikeza umama wakhe inothi. Wayefunda futhi emhlikihla.

Agibele. Sizokubuyisela. Futhi akulona izwi ngokuqhubeka kukababa. Ngiyitholile?

– Impela, mama, ngiyaqonda… Futhi ake sithathe ingulube kumphathi omkhulu, ahh? waphakamisa.

– Uyini? Kumele senze konke ngokuya ngomthethosisekelo nangobulungiswa.

– Ungikhihla ngokungabi nangqondo?

– Ungumqondisi. Wazi kangcono. Futhi ngokwakhe uzolungisiswa phambi kukaNkulunkulu.

– Ingabe yileya elengiswe odongeni ehhovisi?

– Cishe. Lapho kulenga u-Iron Felix, iPhini lakhe. Kulungile, hamba wenze umsebenzi wakho wesikole.

– ngenzile. Mama, ngingahamba ngizohamba ngezinyawo emfuleni?

– Hamba, kepha khumbula, umdlwane: shona, ungafiki ekhaya. Ngizokubulala… Ngabe ngiyakubulala?

– Yebo. – U-Izzy wamemeza wanyamalala ngemuva komnyango…

APULAZ 3

– Cha, mlondeli, bengingahlala, inhliziyo yami ibuthakathaka…

– Akukho lutho, lapha eSt. Petersburg uzophefumula amagesi futhi ukhululeke.

UHarutun wayefuna ukusho okuthile ukuthi azohlala nonkosikazi kaKlop, kodwa waba nomcabango futhi wabheka lo msila onamakhwapha amabili edolweni lakhe futhi wacindezela lesi sinambuzane endwangu yebhulukwe lakhe ngesithupha sakhe.

– Yini obefuna ukuyikhipha? – ngokubhuqa, ekhwehlela amehlo akhe, kubuza u-Ottila.

– Anginayo imali noma umuthi.

– Yebo, lokho kuyathengiseka. Konke kukhokha isabelomali. Uma sithola ikhala.

– Futhi uma singayitholi?

– Futhi uma singayitholi, khona-ke zonke izindleko zizodonswa… kuwe.

– Kanjani?

– Kanjalo. Uma usabuza imibuzo yobuwula, ungalahlekelwa ngumsebenzi wakho. Ngiyitholile?

– Kulungile, kuyaqondakala. Sihamba nini?

– Umbuzo oyisiphukuphuku. Kufanele ngabe sesikhona. Asihambe manje!

– Futhi yini maduze? Angizange ngiphathe ipotimende lami?

– Kufanele siyigcine ilungile ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ubuwazi lapho uwuthola khona umsebenzi… By the way, into efanayo…

– Yini?

– Angizange ngiphathe ipotimende lami. Yebo, asizidingi. Lapho ufika, thenga okudingayo. Nginekhadi lasebhange.

– Futhi uma imali ingekho?

– Uyophonsa. – Kuphinde futhi iphoyisa lesifunda lafaka umunwe ophahleni futhi ngesitayela se-pygmy lasuka, lisebenzisa izikhathi ezithile, etafuleni, liphakamisela unyawo phambi kwakhala likazakwabo. Wasondela ezinyaweni zakhe wawela etafuleni ngezinyawo ngendlela eqonde e-Arutun eya esihlalweni sakhe. Izinyembezi futhi zingena ekhanda zizophuma.

– Kungani uhleli? asihambe! – wasula isandla sakhe, – futhi, kwaba sengathi ngomgwaqo waseSt. Petersburg, wakhukhula uMhlaba…

Bashiya inqaba, bashiya inothi kuphela ku-chalk emnyango:

«Ungakhathazeki. Sesiphumile esabelweni esiphuthumayo eSt. Petersburg. Uhlala endaweni ye-Incephalate, ne-Izya – esikhundleni sami.. Me!»

Futhi ezansi kukhona ukwengeza komunye umbhalo wesandla:

«Uxolo Pupsik, ngizobuyela njengoba kufanele! Ngenkathi uFlea wakho ehamba. Ngilinde futhi ngibuye. Mhlawumbe eyodwa…»

U-Izya wafunda lo mbhalo futhi, ebhala ephepheni elibhalwe ngesandla sikayise no-Intsefalopat, walifihla ephaketheni lakhe wayesula okubhaliwe emnyango.