David Borgenicht: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Middle School

Through your good example, show her that cruelty’s not cool. Behaving with kindness might not only help make her nicer, but it might also win you new friends.

You hung out all summer. You even helped her choose the great outfit she wore on the first day of school. And now she’s suddenly hanging out with new people, and you’ve been dumped like a dirty diaper. Whaddaya do?

1 I will survive!

First, understand that you’re not alone. This is one of those lame life things that everyone eventually endures. But endure it you will, and things will turn around.

2 Stick your neck out.

You may want to pull a turtle, but don’t retreat from the world! The sooner you open yourself up to new friendships with new girls—ones who might even share more of your interests than your old BFF—the sooner you’ll feel better.

3 Be a joiner.

Now’s the perfect time to try out for the soccer team. Or join yearbook. Or parlez français in French club. Think about it: You’ll already have something in common with the people in the group, so chances are you’ll meet some fun, new friends while doing something you enjoy.

4 Be bold.

Take a leap and ask someone new to the movies or another fun event. It may seem uncomfortable at first, but it’s really no big deal. You can even follow this script word for word: “Hi, [name]! I’m going to see [movie name] this weekend, and was wondering if you wanted to come?”

5 Be patient… she may come back!

If you haven’t already figured this out, middle school can be a time that’s “krazy” with a “k.” People change on a daily basis, both physically and mentally. Just because you aren’t feeling love from the BFF right now doesn’t mean all is lost. This could just be an ugly phase, so stay chill, keep living your life, and have fun. If your friend doesn’t realize what she’s missing, she might not be as smart as you thought she was.

• L8R LUZR! Your BFF dumps you via text message, and lets you know she never wants to talk to you again…with angry emoticons .

• You get uninvited to her birthday party… and she’s your identical twin!

• Her new BFF pronounces your name wrong, and your old BFF adopts the pronunciation.

• She IMs your mom, but not you.

• She “breaks up” with you, and then starts hanging out with your older brother.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if the attention you get from a boy is because he really, really likes you or because he really, really dislikes you. (Boys remain very much like their cavemen ancestors in this way: “Me hungry! Me tired! Me bad at social interaction!”)

Since you can’t climb into a boy’s head to learn what he’s really thinking, let him know his bad behavior has got to stop.

1 Use “uh-uh, that ain’t cool” body language.

If you don’t want to talk to him, a gesture can be worth a thousand words.

2 Tell him straight.

How’s this for easy: Just say, “Hey, [boy’s name], please stop.” It’s short. It’s sweet. And it should let him know that you’re sick of his immature behavior. What happens if he keeps up with the baloney after you’ve told him to stop? Your next response is not to respond at all. That’s right: Freeze him out. Let him know he can take it down the road because you’re not buying anything he’s selling. Boys looooove attention, and if you stop giving it to them, chances are they’ll just go seek out another target who will.

3 Try the once-and-for-all.

Now, for a girl who wants to give Boy a little taste of his own medicine, she can try this line: “You sure are spending a lot of time and energy on li’l old me. Everyone knows it’s because you have a crush on me.” If you serve that one up, it’ll not only stop the boy in his tracks, it might even make him quake in his sneakers.

Middle school can be as cruel as that old saying about fashion: “One day you’re in, the next day you’re out.” If you’re no longer welcome at your old lunch table, or if you don’t get the call for the shopping expedition, it can make you feel like you’ve been “ auf ed.” (As in: “So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen , good-bye.”) Suddenly you’re an outcast, forced to wander the mine field that is the school cafeteria. What do you do?

1 Dopes mope.

Unfortunately, this sitch is not going to improve until you make it happen. Don’t sit around waiting for reacceptance. Even if you have to force yourself to smile, try it. Research shows that smiling actually makes you feel better. Truly. Give it a shot… no, don’t stop yet. You have to keep doing it. Uh-huh. Yes, that’s it. There you go…

2 Become a “Say cheese!” whiz.

Get involved in an activity that draws people to you. Everybody loves to have their picture taken, so join the school yearbook staff and start clicking. Or start a band if you play an instrument. If you like to cook, share samples of your best work at lunch. Local museums often offer courses, so take an art class in a fab new setting.These activities should not only be fun, but they’ll also boost your confidence and send some well-earned attention your way. And, yeah: Your old crowd will definitely realize what it’s missing!

3 One-on-one.

Though it’s nice to be part of a group, the best friendship moments often come when you’re doing something fun with just one good friend. Now’s the perfect time to “remeet” one of the chicas in your class that you’ve known forever but haven’t hung out with in a while (or ever!). Make a plan to do something fun together. Or imagine how thrilled the new girl who just moved to town would be if you invited her to the movies. Middle school is your time to explore all sorts of new things, and pairing up with a new friend is a great way to start.

It’s Saturday night and all of your friends are getting ready to go to the party of the year… to which you weren’t invited. How will you cope? You can have an equally great night! (Haven’t you ever heard of a “party of one”?)

First, fix yourself a healthy beverage (smoothie, anyone?), then head to the bathroom. Turn on some tunes, drop some bubble bath in the tub, and once the water gets thick with suds, climb in and relax. Soak until you’ve turned into a human prune, or until another family member starts banging on the door and demands you get out. Once you’ve dried off, file your nails, buff your feet, and apply polish to all twenty digits. By the end of the night, you’ll be completely chillaxed and gorgeous!