David Borgenicht: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Middle School

Dirty little secret: People who think they belong to the “popular crowd” have it backward .

It’s not a “crowd” if it’s only a few people. Plus, true popularity means having lots of friends’ not excluding them.

1 Be an inquiring mind.

Want to get to know someone new? Start with a question like, “What’d you think of that English assignment?” “Did you read that book?” “Cool (shirt/shoes/pants), where’d you get it/them?” “What’s for lunch?”

BE AWARE• If your “way in” goes way badly, no biggie. Blow it off with a comment like, “Take your time, it was a tough question,” or “I like how you answered that with a nonanswer. Are you hoping for a career in politics?”

2 Show your interest.

As you get to know this new person, show interest in what he’s saying by listening well and asking follow-up questions. Delve deeper with “why” questions, like, “Why’d you decide to play trumpet?”

3 Add water.

As the friendship grows, suggest getting together outside of school for a movie, skateboarding session, or sleepover.

4 Smile more, smile often.

Flashing a smile is like starting a private conversation. Grinning not only says, “I’m a nice person, come say hi!” it also lets people know you’re not judge-y. Just think about how it’ll feel to have loads of pals, and that smile’ll spread naturally.

5 Are you positive? Say yes!

Remember: It’s more fun to hang out with someone who’s upbeat and positive than it is to hang out with Hater McWhineypants.

6 Be a uniter.

You have friends scattered in all parts of your life—from school, outside activities, summer camp, etc. So if you want to hang with a larger group, do some community organizing. Invite all your peeps to a party. Bringing different groups of friends together is what a real leader does.

7 Know your true friends.

A group is great, but one quality amigo—a partner in crime who’s there when you need to talk serious stuff—is priceless. (Be sure to treat him that way!)

Middle school is like the next level up in a video game: You get a clean screen, new powers, and the chance to turn yourself into the person you’ve always wanted to be. Once you figure out who that is, follow through on the plan to make a brand-new you!

1 Have ’em at hello.

Movie stars become famous by getting their faces out there. You can’t turn into “someone” until people see you, so introduce yourself and show them who you are. The more people you meet, the more interesting a “character” you become.

2 A better form of global warming.

Break the ice. Don’t know what to say? Ask people about their favorite subject—themselves! Then you don’t have to talk— they do. Other possible topics: school stuff (“What is up with Mr. Odenkirk’s hair?”); cultural stuff (“Can you believe what [crazy celebrity] did?”)…you get the idea.

1 Keep your eyes on the prize.

How many A’s do you want? Is there a subject you’re itching to ace, or do you want to see a perfect column of straight A’s on your report card? Write down your goal, and stick it where you’ll be reminded of it regularly.

2 Get in on the secrets.

Pssst …they’re all around you! Watch what the A students in your class do and follow suit. Here are a few grade-A habits you might consider picking up:

• Don’t stop for anything at homework time. Put the magazine away. Don’t IM till you’ve done your work. Your hair looks good, quit restyling it!

• Just do it. Do all your homework, all the time. Yeah, it may feel like busywork. Yeah, you may get some of it wrong. Big deal. Just put in your best effort and get ’er done.

• If you can’t figure something out yourself, get help. Even top students get confused sometimes.

3 Don’t give up.

It can take more than one semester to make the transformation to star student, especially if you set your sights super high. Give it time, and keep taking steps—even little ones—up the grading alphabet.

Watch out for these potholes on the road to the new You.

• Going over the top.You know those little dogs that don’t stop barking? They make you want to yell, “Shut it, yappy!” Never try so hard that you’re viewed as that pooch. Sometimes muzzling is a better strategy.

• Pretending to be what you’re not.When friends change, you might want to remake your image, too. But if you’re uncomfortable with the new and “improved” you, you can always switch back to the “classic” version.

• Ditching someone because they seem like a bad fit with your new image.One reputation you don’t want is “person who leaves behind her friends.”

OMG! LOL! Did you hear? This kid totally cut one in the middle of Spanish class yesterday! Isn’t that hilarious? Uh, yeah. Except, it isn’t true…and the kid everyone is talking about is you . Time to act fast, or spend the rest of the week (or more!) known as “El Gasso Supremo.”

1 Do some sleuthing.

Ask the person spreading the rumor who he heard it from, and then ask that person who she heard it from, and follow up with that person who he heard it from, until you find out who started the rumor mill turning. Then…

2 Take action.

No one wants to be known as the town gossip, so talk to Rumor Starter privately. Once he knows that you know he made up stories about your mom wearing earplugs while you play guitar, the jabbering will stop in a snap.

1 Start the chatterers chattering about the truth.

No, you did not beg, plead, or bribe your math teacher to give you a better grade on your test. And no , you did not curl up on the floor and start crying like a baby to get your way! But if you did have a question about your score and wanted to get it cleared up, don’t let rumor-mongers turn it into something else.

Spread the truth: Let the gossip girls—and boys—know that you were standing up for yourself. And just as you won’t let that not-so-great grade stand, you’re not going to let an untrue rumor about you linger around the halls, either.