David Borgenicht: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Middle School

1 Go on the move.

Ask for a different seat on the opposite side of the room. No need to tattle: Say your chair is squeaking or the sun’s in your eyes.

2 Play a little defense.

Block your paper with your forearm, or let your scratch paper just happen to cover up your answers.

BE AWARE• Sometimes blocking your paper isn’t enough. If you still see those prying eyes, don’t hesitate to tell the teacher after class.

Yes, your eyes were wandering—they always do that!—but you truly weren’t cheating, honest! What if you’re falsely charged?

• Remain calm.Crying or getting angry only makes you look guilty.

• Offer to retake the test.If you can ace it again on the spot, you’ll prove your point.

• Talk yourself up.You turn in homework on time. You read independently. Basically, you’re too smart to cheat!

Maybe you were passing notes in class, running in the hallway, or listening to your headphones under your hood. It seemed worth it at the time, but now that you’ve been busted, you’re not so sure. You’re queasy, your hands are sweating, and the room is spinning before your eyes. Do you need the school nurse? Nope—you need to check out these miracle cures.

1 Tell the truth.

Here’s a simple formula you won’t learn in math: Getting in trouble + Lying about it = Much worse trouble. If you were texting in class, admit it and move on.

2 Don’t fight fire with fire.

You weren’t the only one peeking at the teachers’ edition, but you can keep that information to yourself. Tattling on the others won’t lessen your punishment.

3 Keep your lips zipped.

Adults love it when you talk back, don’t they? ( Yeah , about as much as getting a bee sting on the bohunkus.) Don’t be that bee! When you’re getting a “talking to,” maintain respectful silence so you won’t cause more trouble than you already have.

4 Think about next week.

Seven days from now, this will just be a bad memory. Your body may be sitting on that hard bench outside the principal’s office today , but in your mind you can already be playing video games or hanging out at the mall, with your punishment (way) behind you.

With every minute stretching out in front of you like hot pizza cheese, detention can feel like it lasts a lifetime—unless you stop staring at the clock and try one of these sanity savers.

• If you’re a righty, try writing the alphabet with your left hand.If you’re a lefty, write righty.

• Test your ESP.Can you move an object with your mind? Can you influence someone else’s thoughts through yours? You will try it now…

• Think about what you did to get detention.Then try to figure out how you could have done it without getting caught.

• Make detention work for you.If you’re allowed to do your homework, get busy so you don’t have to waste precious free time slaving over it later.

Pants (and shirt!) off—in front of your classmates? Yikes! If just the thought of doing the costume change for gym class gives you stage fright, try a few of these tricks to ease your performance anxiety.

1 Face your locker instead of the crowd.

Stand as close to your gym locker as possible without actually climbing in.

2 Get all your gym clothes ready before the old ones come off.

Make sure you’ve got everything you need (from shorts to shirt to socks), so you’re not rooting around in your bag without pants on. As soon as everything is laid out in a clothing assembly line: presto-change-o! The process will fly by.

3 Dress in pieces.

Instead of getting fully undressed, approach it one article of clothing at a time. Take off your pants—then pull on your gym shorts. Next, replace your regular shirt with your gym shirt. Continue until you’re all suited up.

4 Be a speed demon.

Glance at your watch before you start undressing, and see if you can set a personal record for a clothing change. If you’re moving at the speed of light, no one can see a thing.

Conversation is a natural distraction, so yak it up with your friends as you change. Talk about the crazy tricks your pets can do, the awesome gadget you want for your birthday, the class that’s driving you bonkers… whatever. Soon enough, you’ll be all changed without having to spend a minute thinking about it.

You might feel less exposed if you wear a light under-shirt beneath your school clothes. That way, when you’re changing into your gym uniform, you can stay wrapped in a protective layer.

If all else fails, head for a bathroom stall and do your thing in your own private dressing room. If anybody asks what you were doing in there, look at them like they’re crazy: “Uh, it’s a bathroom—what do you think I was doing?”

The worst part of running up a hill is when you’re at the bottom, just thinking about running up the hill. The same is true for homework, so stop the head games and just do it ! Here’s how to gear up and ascend to success.

1 Feed your brain.

Before you get started, give yourself a “head” start on homework by snacking on “smart food” (nuts, fruit, veggies, popcorn). Healthy fuel will make your brain run better.

2 “X” marks the homework spot.

Seek out a super-comfortable, bright, quiet place to make your personal workstation. Decorate it to inspire you and remind you of your triumphs. If the homework spot is a place you like going to, the whole experience will improve. (You may even look forward to it!)

3 Distractions, keep out!

Turn off the TV. Put your phone in the cupboard behind the food you hate most. The faster you focus, the sooner you’ll get the job done.

4 Beat the clock.

Deadlines make adrenaline flow! If you know you need to finish a task by a certain time, your body will rise to the challenge. Set a realistic amount of time to finish, like, “I’ll finish my homework by 4 PM,” then set an alarm. Victory (a.k.a. completed homework) will soon be yours!