Akash Karia: Small Talk Hacks: The People Skills & Communication Skills You Need to Talk to Anyone and be Instantly Likeable

Try This:

Consciously ask others for their opinions more often. When you have a new product developed, make sure and get input. This is a good habit and if you really take the opinions seriously you’ll also be able to improve what you do.

TECHNIQUE #7: SHARE YOUR PRODUCT

Do you love getting a free product? I know that I always appreciate getting a quality item given to me.

For example, let’s say you’re attending a conference for writers. If you have written books take a few of them with you to give away. It’s even better if you sign and personalize them. You may have to spend a little money to give away a product, but it’s a small investment that will come back to you in many returns.

Caveat: Be your own judge about when it is and when it isn’t appropriate to give away products. In some cases, giving away free products can be a great way of starting up a conversation (depending on what industry you work in), but in other cases it can come off as too promotional – so be careful when deciding whether or not to use this technique.

Try This:

Develop a product you can share when you meet new people at business events. If you don’t have a book, create a short booklet or CD to pass out.

AUTHENTICITY IS CRITICAL

No matter what approach you use, one of the most important things you can do is remain authentic. If you’re not sincere it will come across to those around you – and no one really likes someone who comes off like a phony.

The advice to “just be yourself” is as old as time, but it’s 100 percent true. You definitely want to avoid pretending that you’re someone you are not. Avoid any temptation to stretch the truth about who you are and what you do.

Eventually the truth will come out and you’ll be left feeling embarrassed if you’ve embellished about who you really are. Just be who you are and be the best version of you.

ELIMINATING THE FEAR OF APPROACHING SOMEONE NEW

If you’re not comfortable with meeting new people, you can build tremendous fear around it. In fact your fear can become so strong that it prevents you from being able to approach someone new.

It’s important that you really think about what it is you really fear. Is it:

Embarrassing yourself by saying something stupid?

Being rejected?

A lack of confidence in your abilities and expertise?

That you don’t know what to say or how to behave?

Once you’ve pinpointed what’s actually causing the stress, you can begin to unravel your fears and find it easier to approach someone.

For example, if you’re worried that you don’t know what to say, you can spend extra time preparing things to say that are relevant and interesting. If you’re worried about being rejected, the best way to get over it is to experience rejection and realize that it isn’t that bad.

This advice reminds of a great sketch from the popular TV sitcom Friends . In the episode, Chandler has a fear of commitment – he cannot seem to commit to a relationship. Therefore, his friend Joey offers him these wise words of advice:

“Face your fear. You have a fear of heights? You go to the top of the building. You’re afraid of bugs? Get a bug, right? In this case, you have a fear of commitment. So I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was. Oh, yeah. Go for it, man! Jump off the high dive. Stare down the barrel of a gun, pee into the wind!”

So, go ahead and in the wise words of Joey Tribbiani, “pee into the wind!” Face your fears, get rejected, and realize that it’s not that bad!

The best way to overcome your fear of approaching someone new is to simply practice. The more you do it the easier it will become – just like most skills and challenges in life.

Begin approaching all kinds of people in a wide variety of situations. If going up to someone you don’t know at a business function is too overwhelming, try smaller interactions that don’t have so much at stake such as:

Approaching a stranger and asking for directions.

Asking for help in a store.

Making eye contact and saying hello to strangers you pass.

Making a conscious effort to reach out to people you don’t know in small ways on a regular basis will make it easier for you to approach new people in any environment – including a business setting.

Over time, your anxiety will naturally fade away. You’ll certainly encounter people who aren’t interested in you or your message, but each time you experience that type of rejection you’ll be able to develop a little thicker skin.

Chapter 3

SEAL A MEMORABLE VERBAL IMPRESSION IN 30 SECONDS

Your nonverbal cues can definitely make an instant first impression, but what you say also has the power to do so. So how do you make sure that you give a great first impression in the first 30 seconds of meeting someone new?

You can look great, but if you don’t have something interesting to say when you open your mouth, you can ruin a good first impression.

As an introvert it can be difficult to know exactly what to say, but I’ve found that by being prepared ahead of time I don’t have to have that moment of stammering before I know what words should follow.

TECHNIQUE #1: THE 30-SECOND COMMERCIAL

One of the most important things you can do is develop a quick 30-second commercial that you can share with someone new. This isn’t meant to be a long lecture about you – it’s just a brief introduction.

Sometimes these 30-second commercials are also called elevator speeches or elevator pitches. What exactly should you plan to say during this time? You need to consider two key points:

Who you are?

What makes you unique?

It’s important to hit the highlights of who you are and how you can add value to the person with whom you’re speaking.

For example, here’s what I’d put down for myself during my 30-second commercial:

Who you are?

Akash Karia. Author and speaker. I write short books on success and motivation, and travel the world speaking to audiences on how to achieve peak performance.

What makes you unique?

I’m of Indian origin, born in Tanzania, studied in Kenya and Hong Kong, and my favorite author is Japanese!

Additionally, for a business-networking event, you should end your 30-second commercial with an open-ended question that helps you to get more information or create a referral. For example, you might ask if they have any suggestions of additional people you might talk to. You might also ask if they have any recommendations or advice for you.

Try This:

Create a basic 30-second commercial for yourself. Here’s a great outline to follow as you do this:

Start with sharing your name and your title or position.

Create a sentence about your unique strengths and accomplishments.

For business-networking events, create a sentence about how you can add value to an organization or individual.

Ask for advice or a referral contact.

TECHNIQUE #2: CREATE CUSTOM COMMERCIALS

It’s good to have a basic 30-second commercial that you can use with anyone, anywhere. But if you know that you’re going to a specific setting or settings, customize your commercial to fit the setting.

This will help you to keep your introduction fresh and allow you to present information that’s relevant to a setting. It’s not always possible to prepare ahead of time, but when you can you’ll find that it’s very beneficial.