Diana Richardson - Tantric Sex for Men

within his or her self, which is ultimately the experience of “inner sex” and the most evolved form of

human sexual expression.

PERSONAL SHARING

My First Full-Body Orgasm

I’m in India and it is 1993. I have been here more than a month, meditating every day, and suddenly I fall in love. It

happens instantly, just by looking at her. We meet the first day of a meditative therapy that lasts three weeks, and after a

couple of weeks of courting and wooing we meet at her home to make love. After long foreplay we get into the real act.

Since I arrived in India I have not had any sexual contact with a woman, so even though I’m in ecstasy about making

love with the woman I most desire in the whole world, I also have the classic male fear—some call it performance anxiety

—that makes me think, “I hope I don’t come immediately.”

For me the first love encounter with a woman has always been like a testing ground: If the feeling is real, everything

goes well and the experience is satisfactory for both partners; if it is not a real energetic feeling but the mind comes

between us, then the experience is not satisfactory. On this night all best conditions are met—there is heart, our bodies

like each other, and very importantly, we are both meditating regularly. I have always been a sensitive man, but tonight is

pure magic. I can feel what she feels and I know exactly where, and how, and when to touch her. I really feel like I am

one with her. The embrace really lasts a long time and every anxious thought is completely gone and I am totally relaxed.

The moment comes when she reaches orgasm and I, too, am captured by the escalation of pleasure that usually leads

to a short, intense little squirt that we usually call “male orgasm.” But this time it’s different. In the beginning everything

goes as usual, with the energy concentrating in my penis, ready to be scattered outside. This time, however, instead of

going out, the energy goes up my entire body, shaking me in powerful waves. It could be described as a tremor, because

the body can’t be still, and there is heat, a kind of inner tingling, waves of pleasure everywhere, and maybe women can

relate to this . . . these waves are not focused on the penis but wash through my whole body, all the way to my crown.

Initially the interval between these long pleasure waves is a few seconds, and then they become less frequent, with longer

intervals.

I feel the energy rushing through my body, flowing from me to her, going through her body and coming back to mine

through the contact between penis and vagina. I realize that if we keep a light contact with our tongues the waves pass

more easily from my body to hers, creating a virtual circle that lasts long and eventually fades slowly, slowly . . . and it is

beautiful to lie together, hugging, to watch the shaking of our bodies, the energy waves going up and down the spine,

exchanging that state of ecstasy, indefinitely recharging each other. And when the waves calm and my ocean becomes

still again I have the usual post-orgasm symptoms: my penis becomes soft again and my limbs are relaxed.

Since that first time it has happened many times, but not always. This kind of orgasm, the valley orgasm, just happens

of its own accord; I can’t make it happen, I can only relax and allow it to happen. The biggest difference from a

traditional orgasm is that after making love it takes less time for me to be ready again, because I’ve gained energy rather

than wasting it, and the feeling of desire is untouched. After a night of these orgasms I need less sleep than usual, only a

couple of hours, to be okay and get up perfectly refreshed. If I don’t ejaculate I can go on making love for hours and

hours. Of course I don’t mean the boring “in and out” that we usually mean by making love. I mean following the energy,

allowing the energy to guide me to move, to slow down, to stop . . . I wait, feeling what happens in my and her body,

feeling the exchange of energy that goes through my penis.

The most important thing for me is to be relaxed. When I feel pleasure rising intensely, I have to remember to relax,

rather than becoming tense as I normally would. It is particularly important to keep the muscles of the anus relaxed and

soft, not tight and contracted. This expansion allows energy to go free, rather than being obstructed there: if the energy

can’t find the space to go up, it will be forced to go down into an ejaculation.

The other important thing is meditation. I’ve noticed that this type of orgasm is more likely to happen when I’m

meditating regularly.

I don’t think that technical knowledge about tantra is particularly important. That first time, in 1993, I was so

completely ignorant about tantra that I was surprised and puzzled about what was happening to me, and thought I might

be ill. I had to wait for years, till I met you both in 2000, to learn more about the circulation of energy in and between

male and female bodies.

Tantric Inspiration

Tantra says do not try to escape; there is no escape possible. Rather, use nature itself to transcend. Don’t fight—

accept nature in order to transcend it. If this communion with your beloved or your lover is prolonged with no end in

mind, then you can just remain in the beginning. Excitement is energy. You can lose it; you can come to a peak.

Then the energy is lost and a depression will follow, a weakness will follow. You take it as relaxation, but it is

negative.

Tantra gives you a dimension of higher relaxation, which is positive. Both partners melting with each other give

vital energy to each other. They become a circle, and their energy begins to move in a circle. They are giving life to

each other, renewing life. No energy is lost. Rather, more energy is gained because through the contact with the

opposite sex your every cell is challenged, excited.

And if you can merge into that excitement without leading it to a peak, if you can remain in the beginning without

becoming hot, just remaining warm, then those two warmths will meet and you can prolong the act for a very long

time. With no ejaculation, with no throwing energy out, it becomes a meditation, and through it you become whole.

Through it your split personality is no more split: it is bridged.

OSHO, TRANSCRIBED TEACHINGS,

VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA

4

THE EQUAL AND OPPOSITE FORCE OF THE FEMALE

ENVIRONMENT

MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME

Much of the confusion and misunderstanding that occurs between men and women results from

ignorance regarding our true differences. These deep-seated differences shape our respective roles

during sexual communion. With insight into these differences we can begin to work together to reveal

and unleash our sexual potential.

For deeper insight into our human potential we refer to information contained in the Tantras (the