Uwe Tellkamp - The Tower

‘Do you really believe in that?’ Barbara’s bracelets tinkled as she let go of Meno and ran her fingers through her hair, one of Lajos Wiener’s experimental creations of impressive stability (Western all-weather hairspray, one of Ulrich’s barter enterprises he’d been pursuing surreptitiously and pretty successfully recently); her look swung from one of Gudrun’s eyes to the other, but Gudrun took her time selecting a sausage kebab from her plate before answering, ‘You can believe in it — or in something else, it all comes down to the same thing. At least it was a point that could have been taken into account so that you wouldn’t need to reproach yourself for having neglected it later on. And so far my colleague has always been right.’

‘Really? Well I never! And does she read palms in general or just for weddings? Could I, for example, ask her how long I’m going to live?’

‘I imagine you could, though I think she has specialized in fidelity.’

‘Aha … And you say it doesn’t cost a lot, Gudrun? People say that dark-haired men with blue eyes are unfaithful. Robert, for example. Don’t you think it’s terrible how quickly young people develop these days? On the other hand there is a definite positive side to it. I always thought Ina would bring home one of those long-haired types, but no, she’s my clever daughter, she’s inherited my instinct. One day she turned up at the door and said, “Mum, this is Thomas, we’ve made up our mind.” And I hadn’t noticed a thing, not a thing! I must have been ill, that’s the only explanation.’

‘Black-haired men with blue eyes are unfaithful? In an article on Alain Delon in Paris Match I read at Wiener’s it said he was very faithful. He and Romy Schneider —’

‘That’s just newspaper nonsense, Gudrun! They just want to keep his female fans happy. Faithful? With his looks? I ask you. Anne says Robert has a girlfriend already — but I can’t see her, he hasn’t brought her. He must have a new one already. And how faithful is Richard … True, he has blond hair, but his eyes are pretty blue. I mean, what does he see in Anne, she’s let herself go a bit recently, she should look after herself more. Richard’s still in his prime, has a good job, has an air about him, the children are gradually moving away, that’s when you become open to certain offers …’ Barbara made an apologetic gesture to stop Meno from walking away. ‘I know she’s your sister and what I’ve just said might sound insulting, but that’s not how it was meant. I think it’s worse when no one says anything and then one day you’re picking up the pieces — and everyone else is nodding, they’d all known about it, had seen it coming ages ago. People are saying all sorts of things about Richard; I had a long conversation with Thomas …’

‘Saying what kind of thing?’ Meno asked.

‘You see, now you’re curious, you’ve lost that disapproving look. They say this and that. So what, Dresden’s a small town. And you know yourself what he admitted to us.’

‘I think exposing those who peddle such rumours is the best way of putting a stop to them. I have to stand up for Richard.’

‘That’s not quite the way you were talking back then, Gudrun. You said State Security only approached a certain type of person … and that one shouldn’t do anything to attract them. I remember it very well. Look, there comes the wedding cake. Isn’t it a beauty? The idea of the amputated hand was Ina’s, she thought it was somehow — surgical. They used red jelly for the blood. Or was it ketchup? Well, you’ll soon find out.’

‘And the ruler stands for education? Is it made from frosting? I have to say I don’t think it’s very nice the way you confront me with the things I’ve said — or am supposed to have said. There’s something insidious about it, as if you were secretly noting down everything we say just so that, years later, you can accuse us of contradicting ourselves, make any development or change of opinion seem stupid. How would you react if, years later, I imitated your shriek in the church at every opportunity?’

‘I’m sure you’d do it very well. It’s your speciality.’

‘Enoeff, Barbara, enoeff.’ Gudrun got the tone exactly right and for a while Barbara didn’t know what to make of it. Then, closing her eyes, she flapped her hand.

‘They’re a lovely couple, don’t you think? He doesn’t idolize her, that’d be quite wrong, he’d be disappointed and take refuge in booze, work or affairs. It’s not that particularly pretty women, and that’s what Ina is, have no faults. She is a bit of a spoilt princess, perhaps we weren’t strict enough with her and once the child’s arrived and he’s spending the whole day at work, perhaps even working on his post-doctoral dissertation in the evenings as well, she’ll look round and realize what a family means. They’re planning to go to Berlin. She’ll be the one who’ll have to deal with the move as well.’

‘I think the best thing is to book a few appointments with a good beautician right away. Giving birth and everything that follows, a little mucky pup getting on your nerves all hours of the day, isn’t exactly good for your complexion. Ina’s pretty, I give you that, but I think she’s one of those who fade early … There’s something dry about her skin. And she has a tendency to cellulite, as far as I can see, which indicates weak connective tissue that won’t have regained its elasticity after birth. Not exactly what men want. For women with weak connective tissue in particular the first child can often be a disaster, they get fat like Russian women, and Ulrich was born in Moscow, as you know.’

‘Look, the bridegroom’s going to say something,’ Meno said, in an attempt to change the subject.

Wernstein made a short speech, thanked the guests for coming, took Ina’s hand and kissed it. Adeling brought in trays with Crimean champagne, Ulrich wiped his forehead with his handkerchief and tapped his glass with a spoon.

‘A pleasant lad, doesn’t think he’s superior.’ Barbara didn’t give Gudrun, who was craning her neck, the chance to hear any of Ulrich’s speech. ‘And such a tragedy! Has no relatives at all left. His whole family were from the uranium mines. Thank God I didn’t need to ask him whether … enoeff. Snorkel and I had set an afternoon for it, it should have been his business, really, between two men, but he couldn’t bring himself to, couldn’t sleep the whole night for thinking about how he should go about it … God, the ways of putting it. The next day Ina came with the positive test from the gynaecologist.’

‘Tell me, Barbara, there was something I was going to ask — why kvass of all things? Or was that what Ulrich wanted? Does he sometimes dream in Russian? Or do you, Meno?’

‘Meno won’t know that. There’s no one beside him in bed to tell him the next morning. Pity, really. Why don’t you get married again? Hanna just wasn’t the right woman for you, I could have told you that from the very beginning. She didn’t even know how to prepare a boiling fowl. If you ask me’ — Meno didn’t ask but still listened with amusement to Barbara — ‘you need a woman who’ll tell you what’s what. A woman who knows something about practical matters. I mean, you don’t even have a car. Can you even drive? But where on earth are you going to find one with the pittance you bring home. Snorkel said they could take you on in the firm right away, they’re looking for — what did he say? — a coordinator for the combine. You’d get at least twice as much. — The kvass was my idea, Gudrun. I like a tot of it myself from time to time and it would have been something different for a wedding. We just started it too late, Snorkel said the heaters would make up for that … and I did insulate the demijohns with coconut fibre. — Enoeff, now it’s the toasts: to the bride and groom.’