Tao Lin - Richard Yates

She sent a few more emails. Haley Joel Osment read the emails and left Bobst Library and bought a corn muffin. He ate it walking slowly to Union Square. On the 4 train a small boy sitting by his mother said “Does anyone know how to break a straw in half?” facing where Haley Joel Osment and other people stood.

“Who are you talking to?” said the mother.

“Peter,” said the boy after about ten seconds.

“You said ‘does anyone,’ ” said the mother. “That’s not Peter. You better not be talking to strangers.” About a minute later the boy laughed and said “I thought this was a chip” about a crushed soda can he was holding. The mother looked at him with a neutral facial expression. Haley Joel Osment looked at the mother with a neutral facial expression. In his room he listened to music through earphones while eating pasta. He carried his air mattress from the closet to his floor’s trash room. He carried an issue of Maxim Blender from the trash room’s recycling bin to his room and masturbated. He showered and read for about an hour. He turned off the light. He looked at old text messages on his cell phone. He slept.

The next afternoon Dakota Fanning emailed that she stole him a new belt because she thought his was leather and that she was making a giant comic for him. She emailed preview photos of the comic. She said her mother was going to buy the plane tickets for Florida but didn’t yet because she decided to invite five of Dakota Fanning’s cousins and all of their parents to their house today for no reason.

That night Haley Joel Osment’s suitemate knocked on his door. “This is from Dakota,” he said. “I think it’s sushi.” Haley Joel Osment ate the sushi standing in his room. He text-messaged Dakota Fanning “Thank you” and that he was surprised and felt happy. Dakota Fanning said she called a lot of places in lower Manhattan asking if they delivered to Wall Street and some places laughed at her.

A week later she went to New York City for Haley Joel Osment’s July 20 reading.

In his room she took a piece of paper from a garbage bag and unfolded it to a very giant piece of paper and taped it to a wall. The tape was already on the back of the paper. It was a comic of about 110 panels of three orcas doing things to Bono, Al Gore, Tim Fenton, other people. Haley Joel Osment grinned a lot while reading it. He asked about Al Gore dying in the sixth panel then being alive in a later panel. Dakota Fanning patted his shoulder and said “Don’t worry about that.” The comic was called “fuck the world.” Haley Joel Osment remembered photos Dakota Fanning had shown him of cakes her friends made that said “fuck the world” in icing. He gave Dakota Fanning two framed drawings he had worked on the past two weeks of about 200 sea animals and said it was her birthday present. They had sex and showered and lay under blankets in the dark.

On the train to New Jersey after Haley Joel Osment’s reading they alternated sleeping with their heads on each other’s laps. In the morning Dakota Fanning’s mother opened the door to Dakota Fanning’s room and said “What did I say about sleeping together?”

Haley Joel Osment woke but did not open his eyes.

After a few seconds Dakota Fanning’s mother closed the door.

“I want to leave,” thought Haley Joel Osment later that day on Dakota Fanning’s bed. “She’s changing back again. I honestly feel like leaving. I wouldn’t be leaving to ‘get back’ at her, I would be naturally going where I want to go. I can leave. I can go to the library.” He stood and began putting his things into his duffle bag. Dakota Fanning asked what he was doing. He said he was leaving. “Please don’t leave,” she said with a serious facial expression and held his wrist. He looked at his wrist and said “Let me leave” and heard her asking if he wanted anything to eat and saying for him to wait as he walked downstairs and then diagonally across her front yard. She ran to him and they faced each other on the street which was wet from an earlier rain. Dakota Fanning was barefoot. “Where are you going?” she said in a panicked voice.

“I’m going to work on things in the library,” said Haley Joel Osment.

Dakota Fanning asked if he wanted to stay at her house until closer to his train time. She said he could use the computer and she wouldn’t bother him.

“I want to go somewhere to be alone,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Where are you going to go?” said Dakota Fanning with a very alert facial expression. There were tears on her cheeks and her body was shaking a little. There didn’t seem to be tears in her eyes. Haley Joel Osment thought she looked pretty and considerate and felt grateful that she existed and liked him. He thought that he wanted to see her again in a few days and then felt calm. “Probably Ming Moon,” he said. “Or just sit somewhere.” He turned to leave and Dakota Fanning held his arm.

“Wait,” she said and let go. “Am I ever going to see you again?”

“Yes. I just want to be alone for a few days. I just want to focus on other things for a few days. It’s okay. Just focus on something good.”

“When will I talk to you? Can I call you?”

“I’ll email in a few days,” said Haley Joel Osment and touched her shoulder. “Okay,” he said. “Focus on something good. Bye.” He went to Ming Moon and then sat on the concrete bench on the train platform eating hot and sour soup and white rice. He thought about if Andrew seemed happy or severely depressed today. He went to the café and read magazines and newspapers for about two hours. On the 8:46 p.m. train he lay on his back across two seats with his knees bent. It was a Friday. He thought about Saturday and Sunday. He text-messaged Dakota Fanning that he would email her Tuesday.

After midnight on his bed he text-messaged “Happy birthday, do you feel okay.”

A few minutes later Dakota Fanning text-messaged “I don’t know.”

Tuesday around 3:00 a.m. she text-messaged “Will you visit me today? I know it’s soon but I miss you, just tell me if you don’t want to, I don’t want you to feel forced.” Haley Joel Osment was sitting on his bed editing a draft of his novel. He looked at the text message and focused on editing while thinking a little about the text message. After a few minutes Dakota Fanning text-messaged “Sorry, never mind, I shouldn’t have asked so soon, good night.” Haley Joel Osment text-messaged that she should come to his reading Thursday. He slept and woke and went to Bobst Library. “I can’t go Thursday,” said an email from Dakota Fanning. “My mother is mad at me because I look sad at work and don’t work fast enough and didn’t sleep until 4:30 a.m. last night. I’m going to work hard tomorrow and she’ll change her mind probably.” Haley Joel Osment asked if her mother would let her go if he went to New Jersey first so she wouldn’t be alone on the train to New York City. “No, probably not,” said Dakota Fanning. “She isn’t going to let me go. It’s probably not a good thing for me to go anyway.”

“Why not,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“I don’t know. I feel sad. I’ve been very sad. I went to a random party girl store today and tried on a dress and looked at myself and I look very ugly and terrible. I’m so nervous that I feel like I’m going to shit and vomit constantly. Over the weekend I felt very lonely and ugly and sad. I went to the movies alone Sunday and sat in the bathroom afterward and cried.”

“Why did you want me to come over today then. Why aren’t you on chat.”

“Because last night I was feeling a little better because I spent 7 hours making something for you and I was excited and wanted you to come but then I looked at myself today at that store and felt ugly and embarrassed. Chat is too fast right now.”