Tao Lin - Richard Yates

“It’s not violent. My publisher was written about in the New York Times.”

“They want to publish you to make money. Violence sells. Look at video games and movies.”

“My publisher lives in poverty. They don’t make money. They publish books that have literary value but don’t make money. They are well respected.” Haley Joel Osment knew that Dakota Fanning’s mother liked books by Nicholas Sparks and that her favorite movies were Shrek and Shrek II and maybe Toy Story . He said some things about literature citing Sartre, Camus, Beckett, the Nobel Prize. He said something about the consolation of art and Dakota Fanning’s mother said “I need to get your word that you will allow me and my husband, and Dakota, to sort things out for a few weeks. As you know Dakota is in therapy, and we need some time to sort this out. We have our own problems.”

* * *

After the call Haley Joel Osment walked into an area of Bobst Library with tables, vending machines, a wide-screen TV and stood in place. New York University students were eating Chinese food. Haley Joel Osment text-messaged Dakota Fanning “She made me agree not to talk to you a few weeks so you can fix your psychological problems, don’t argue with her about literature, just pretend you’re fixed.” Dakota Fanning text-messaged “Okay, she said ‘fuck off’ to me.” A few minutes later Dakota Fanning called saying she was in the bathroom with the door locked from her mother. Haley Joel Osment talked to her a little then went to a computer and typed an essay on his blog about Nicholas Sparks and suicide. The essay was directed at Dakota Fanning’s mother and mentioned a King Kong DVD he had seen in Dakota Fanning’s mother’s bedroom. The essay said Nicholas Sparks could also cause people to hurt themselves. Haley Joel Osment edited it for about four hours. Around 6:30 a.m. he went to his apartment and slept until 5:00 p.m. and went to Bobst Library. “Dakota said she heard her mom making fun of my voice after,” he said to Julia on Gmail chat. “Dakota can’t use the internet or phone except when she hides in the bathroom or something. We’re fucked.”

“She sounds mean, this mom,” said Julia. “Why would she make fun?”

“She’s an asshole,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Well you were fucked before. Now you are just fucked a little harder.”

“Now I’ll just read everyday. I have no friends, no job.”

“I am your friend,” said Julia.

“I mean in real life. I got in a mass email fight with the friends I used to have here. They said I used Dakota as a ‘mutable concept.’ Headbutt girl said that. I said ‘what are you talking about.’ ” Headbutt girl was the 26-year-old Haley Joel Osment spent time with before meeting Dakota Fanning. He headbutted her by accident one night when they were standing in her apartment listening to Rancid in the dark. “I don’t know,” said Haley Joel Osment. “I hate when people say someone is projecting.”

“Why is everyone such an expert on everyone’s relationships,” said Julia.

“A fucked person enters an unfucked situation, and the situation immediately becomes fucked. It’s the person that is fucked,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Obviously.”

“Situations can’t be fucked because they are situations,” said Julia.

“We are profound,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Where is our Nobel Prize. All the old Nobel Prize winners were depressed existentialists. Now they are all sociologists or something. As America gained more power.”

“Nobody wants to discuss how lonely life is,” said Julia. “Everyone is more interested in toothpaste.”

“Who is Nina Portia,” said Haley Joel Osment. “I blogged about her.”

“I don’t know who that is,” said Julia.

“Dakota said her mother drank wine after the troubles with me and went into her room drinking wine. She kept saying she was twice my age.”

“She wants maybe for Dakota a cheerful ‘hunk,’ ” said Julia.

“No,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Probably just because Dakota lied to her like 20 times saying she was staying at friends’ houses when she was coming to New York City. And I hid in Dakota’s room like 10 times. It seems understandable.”

“That is understandable,” said Julia.

“Actually she is being nice to me.”

“See, good,” said Julia. “You are being forgiving and clear headed now. You lied. Both of you. That is hard.”

The next few days Haley Joel Osment talked to Dakota Fanning in text messages and sometimes on the phone. Dakota Fanning said she was depressed and hadn’t been eating and was writing Haley Joel Osment a giant letter. She said she told her mother she pressured Haley Joel Osment into sex and only had sex once in New York City and her mother didn’t think anymore that Haley Joel Osment only wanted sex and said Dakota Fanning could see him in a few weeks but wouldn’t give a specific date. Dakota Fanning’s mother was a graphic designer for America’s largest-circulation tow-truck magazine. Dakota Fanning had to go with her to work every day because she thought Dakota Fanning would run away if left alone. Dakota Fanning said that in group therapy with her mother and father the therapist asked her mother what exactly her problem was with Dakota Fanning seeing Haley Joel Osment and her mother was quiet and then said she didn’t know. “The therapist defeated my mother,” said Dakota Fanning. Haley Joel Osment said Dakota Fanning should tell the therapist he was a graduate of New York University. Dakota Fanning said she did and the therapist was impressed and said something nice about New York University. Haley Joel Osment said the only purpose of going to New York University was so Dakota Fanning could now say to her therapist in the presence of her mother that Haley Joel Osment had gone to New York University.

One night on the phone Dakota Fanning said tape man called her about thirty times leaving messages saying she was a little cunt slut and that he wouldn’t stop calling until there was some kind of conclusion. Dakota Fanning said she didn’t know what to do. Haley Joel Osment said he didn’t understand. He said she should just email tape man saying she didn’t want to talk to him anymore. “Okay,” said Dakota Fanning.

“I’m here,” she said on Gmail chat a few days later.

“Where’s your mom,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“She’s watching TV. She thinks I’m researching college shit. I think I’m fucked for college. I don’t know where to go. And I only have an 1100 on my SATs.”

“Don’t worry about that. You’re committing suicide this year probably.”

“Yeah. You’re right,” said Dakota Fanning.

“When am I coming?” said Haley Joel Osment.

“I don’t know. I have to see if I can stay home Friday.”

“I feel like a moth’s peach fuzz,” said Haley Joel Osment. “It doesn’t feel good.”

“Can you wake up early to take the 8:12 train. You would get here at 10:40.”

“Yes,” said Haley Joel Osment. “If you’re not there I’m getting back on the train.”

“I don’t know if you can come yet. If I still have to go to work with my mom then you can’t.”

“Tell her I’m coming tomorrow. See what she says.”

“She’ll get angry,” said Dakota Fanning. “She’ll get very angry.”

“Tell her I’m coming to fix your psychological problems.”

“Just come and stand in the road and I will talk to you from the yard,” said Dakota Fanning. “She can’t do anything.”

“I know. Tell her that. Go tell her now.”

“I can’t tell her things like that because then she just gets angry and yells. I tell her she is insane or out-of-control most of the time.”