Tao Lin - Richard Yates

Dakota Fanning’s mother was home. She said something in the living room. She came in the storage room. Haley Joel Osment stood and shook her hand. “Hi,” he said. “Hi,” she said. They went in the living room. Haley Joel Osment and Dakota Fanning sat on the sofa. Dakota Fanning’s mother leaned against a wall and looked at them. “You couldn’t wait, could you?” she said after about ten seconds. “What day is today? It was almost two weeks, just a few more days, right? Two days, or something. Two more days. And I was going to let you see each other. But you just couldn’t wait.” She stared at Dakota Fanning a few seconds. “And now you’re going to have to deal with the consequences.”

“You wouldn’t give us a date,” said Dakota Fanning. “If you had just given us a definite date when we could see each other we would have been okay with that.” Dakota Fanning’s mother said Dakota Fanning would have to earn back her trust over time. She asked Haley Joel Osment what he did in New York City. Haley Joel Osment said he mostly stayed in the library. He said he was a personal assistant to someone starting a jet company. She asked how Haley Joel Osment made money. He said he had money from his books, writing articles sometimes, and the personal assistant job. They talked about Haley Joel Osment’s apartment on Wall Street and then Dakota Fanning asked if she could go to New York City with Haley Joel Osment to eat dinner with a person named Ana. Dakota Fanning’s mother asked what they would do in New York City.

“Walk around, and go in bookstores, and eat dinner,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“And this Ana,” said Dakota Fanning’s mother carefully. “She’s a writer?”

“Yes,” said Haley Joel Osment. “She’s in her 30s.”

“I know, Dakota has told me about her,” said Dakota Fanning’s mother and stared at Dakota Fanning a little blankly a few seconds then said “So all these times you’ve said you were with Pedro, or whoever, you’ve been lying to me.” Dakota Fanning said she only lied once. She said she really did go to New York City with Pedro and Pedro’s mother. Dakota Fanning’s mother talked about trust then went in the kitchen and talked on the phone and began to broil something and came in the living room and asked if Haley Joel Osment or Dakota Fanning wanted any of her potatoes. They did not. She went in the kitchen. About a minute later she put her upper body into the living room and said “I’m not as bad as Dakota made me out to be, right?”

Haley Joel Osment nodded and she returned to the kitchen.

“You’re just acting this way because we have a guest,” said Dakota Fanning very loudly with an agitated facial expression. “If Haley wasn’t here you would be screaming. This isn’t how you normally are.” Haley Joel Osment patted Dakota Fanning’s thigh and said “It’s okay” while grinning. Dakota Fanning grinned and said “Sorry” in an embarrassed voice.

She put American Psycho in the DVD player.

About ten minutes later Dakota Fanning’s brother came in the house. He looked at Dakota Fanning with a neutral facial expression. He looked at the TV. He had met Haley Joel Osment one other time a few weeks ago and they had said hi to each other and shook hands. “American Psycho,” he said. “Why are you watching this?” He went in the kitchen. Haley Joel Osment heard Dakota Fanning’s mother say “Have you introduced yourself to Haley?” Dakota Fanning’s brother came in the living room grinning and shook Haley Joel Osment’s hand and walked through the hallway into his room closing his door. In American Psycho a person tried to feed a cat to an ATM. The person stared at the cat with a confused facial expression. The person chased a woman through an apartment building with a chainsaw while naked. At the end of the movie it is revealed that the person had imagined his killing rampages because he was insane.

“It would have been better if he really did it,” said Dakota Fanning.

“But it’s already not real,” said Haley Joel Osment feeling a little confused.

Dakota Fanning’s mother went to the grocery store.

“She saw us watching American Psycho,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“She doesn’t care,” said Dakota Fanning. “She doesn’t pay attention to anything I do.”

“I don’t know if that’s true,” thought Haley Joel Osment.

“Now what,” he said. “Will she let us take a walk?”

“I don’t think she’ll let me leave the house,” said Dakota Fanning.

After a few minutes she put The Piano Teacher in the DVD player. They had watched it together a few weeks ago. Dakota Fanning had seen it maybe five times. It was overdue one or two months from Hollywood Video. At the end of it the main character goes to her piano recital, stands in the lobby until everyone is seated in the concert hall, takes a large knife from her music sheet case, stabs herself a few inches below her shoulder, leaves the building. Dakota Fanning’s mother came in the house with Chinese food including crab rangoon. She said Haley Joel Osment was welcome to visit whenever he wanted as long as she knew in advance. She went in the kitchen.

“What is crab rangoon?” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Crab wrapped in cheese then fried,” said Dakota Fanning.

Haley Joel Osment went to New York City on the 5:32 p.m. train.

“Kailey just called and asked me to hang out with her,” said Dakota Fanning the next night on Gmail chat. “I said I can’t leave my house because I don’t want to put on pants anymore and she got angry and went away.”

“Good,” said Haley Joel Osment. “When are you coming.”

“I don’t know. It might not be until July when I can come.”

“Okay,” said Haley Joel Osment. “July is in like 4 days.”

“No, I mean like around my birthday because then I can convince her to let me go for my birthday. I really want to see you in New York. I should try to come this week. I can’t lie anymore. I have to try to convince my mom.”

“Ask her. Tell her she puts stress on herself by trying to control you instead of giving you freedom which is what America is about, freedom.”

“I laughed and drooled a little,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Tell her American and Canadian soldiers are fighting for your freedom and she is taking that God-given right away from you. Does she believe in God?” A few weeks ago Haley Joel Osment searched Dakota Fanning’s mother’s name on the internet and found a comment she had made on a message board thanking American and Canadian troops for fighting terrorism. He had showed Dakota Fanning who had said “What is this shit, I didn’t know about this.”

“Yes, she does,” said Dakota Fanning. “I want to go to New York Friday. Do you think Ana would do anything Friday? It will be easier to convince her if I say we’re meeting Ana.”

“Yes,” said Haley Joel Osment. “She will.”

“She seemed okay with Ana,” said Dakota Fanning. “I keep staring at Richard Yates’ face on the back of The Easter Parade but not having any reaction to it. Just looking.” Haley Joel Osment said “Party girl” which was a term they had for people who did not speak in a quiet monotone and were not severely detached. Inanimate objects and situations and animals and boys could also be party girls. Dakota Fanning said if they wrote a book about a party girl called Party Girl they would be rich. “I just searched it on Amazon and there’s like 4 books and 3 movies called Party Girl,” she said. “ Party Babe would make us the most rich probably.”

Haley Joel Osment said “ Slut Babe.”

“ Slut Party,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Slut Party is good,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Just bring a tape recorder and hang out with anyone then transcribe.”