Tao Lin - Richard Yates

“Stop making stupid excuses,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“I’ll be at school,” said Dakota Fanning. “I can’t leave earlier asshole.”

“You can leave earlier. Stop making asshole excuses. I feel like I’m talking to my asshole. I’m about to say something,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Where there is a will there is a way,” he said.

“Haley. I can’t leave earlier than when I get home from school. Stop being stupid. I don’t have a car. I have to leave when the bus leaves.”

“You can leave,” said Haley Joel Osment. “You can walk.”

Dakota Fanning said she was probably killing herself within the next few days.

Later they decided Haley Joel Osment would visit her using the 11:54 p.m. train Wednesday. He would hide in her room that night and the next night and in the morning they would go to New York City together. “Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday,” said Dakota Fanning. “That’s a long time. I’m not killing myself anymore. This is good.”

“We don’t need to kill ourselves,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Not yet. Good. Postponed.”

Wednesday night Haley Joel Osment sat on his bed playing drums with his hands on his thighs. He stood and moved things. He sat on his bed. He looked at his cell phone. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door. He looked at his head and face from different angles in the mirror. He photographed himself a few times with his cell phone. He looked at the photos. He sent one to Dakota Fanning. He went to Penn Station. In New Jersey he stood on the train platform and saw no Dakota Fanning. He walked very slowly on the platform a few minutes listening to music through earphones. He walked toward Dakota Fanning’s house. He thought about his previous visit when she was late and he wanted to kiss her in a school bus and feel afraid together and she didn’t want to and he walked on the field listening to “Sweet Avenue” by Jets to Brazil while thinking about leaving New Jersey and never seeing her again. He walked in an irrelevant direction. He walked toward her house. He called her cell phone. “Shit,” she said. “I fell asleep. I’m coming.”

“Sorry,” she said on the steel bridge.

He hugged her and didn’t say anything. She looked at his face with a worried facial expression. He held her head to his chest so she couldn’t see his face and they walked to her house without talking.

Friday morning they ran to the train platform and sat in the train. The ticket-taker looked at Haley Joel Osment’s facial expression and said “You got here, didn’t you?” Haley Joel Osment read a book he didn’t like then lay and slept.

At Secaucus they transferred to the wrong train. They arrived in Hoboken. Dakota Fanning kept her headphones on and they walked with about fifteen feet between them. At the ticket machines she looked at Haley Joel Osment with a shy facial expression. He walked to her and helped her buy a ticket for the PATH train.

In the morning she woke before him. “Where are your keys?” she said. He began to get up. She said she needed to go somewhere by herself. “Why?” said Haley Joel Osment. Dakota Fanning asked where the keys were. Haley Joel Osment told her and asked where she was going. She said for a walk. Haley Joel Osment stared at her from the bed in the dark. “Okay,” he said and slept. He woke and saw her smiling. She said she stole underwear and deodorant from Duane Reade and saw the mayor of New York speak. The mayor kept talking about September 11 and also saying “on this day” and it confused her because it made her think it was September 11. It was June 10. She said she wanted to scream “Terrorism is good.”

Haley Joel Osment showered and they left the apartment.

At a grocery store Dakota Fanning stole green tea pomegranate juice and Haley Joel Osment stole organic cherry tomatoes. They walked outside and saw a strange-looking store. It was another grocery store. They went in and stole a salad. On the sidewalk Haley Joel Osment said “Look at this salad, doesn’t it look pretty?” He stopped walking and photographed it with his cell phone.

At Whole Foods they walked away from each other. After about ten minutes he found her in the chocolate aisle and said “Let’s go” and saw her holding two chocolate bars. He went outside and sat on the sidewalk eating stolen avocado sushi. His cell phone vibrated. He stared at it. He pushed a button. “Where are you?” said Dakota Fanning.

“Outside,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Where?” said Dakota Fanning.

“Outside the entrance.”

“Come to the corner where we passed the mango lady.”

“What?” said Haley Joel Osment. “Just come to the entrance”

“Where are you?” said Dakota Fanning. “I got caught.”

“What happened? Come here.”

“Come here,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Where are you?”

“On the corner,” said Dakota Fanning.

“Okay,” said Haley Joel Osment and walked to the corner. “They made me sign something,” said Dakota Fanning grinning. “They took my picture. It was fun.” Haley Joel Osment began walking toward Penn Station. “You’re stupid,” he said after a few seconds. “What did you sign?”

“They made me put my address. I put your address. I said I was from New Jersey. They said ‘who are you staying with?’ I said ‘a friend.’ They said to put that address.”

“Why did you put my address?” said Haley Joel Osment.

“It doesn’t matter. They don’t know your apartment number.”

“I don’t care,” said Haley Joel Osment. “You’re supposed to lie no matter what. I’m going to get caught and put your mom’s name. Email me your social security number.” Dakota Fanning said her social security number out loud. Haley Joel Osment repeated it and she said it was wrong. He said some more numbers out loud, all wrong. She asked for his social security number. He said he didn’t say his social security number out loud to anyone who asked. “There were like 200 photos,” said Dakota Fanning about the security room in Whole Foods. “They all looked good. They were all hippies or Asians.”

“Asians,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Why Asians?”

“I don’t know,” said Dakota Fanning. “I told the lady she should put all the photos in a book and sell the book. I said she would be rich. She laughed.”

At Penn Station Haley Joel Osment stared at the display waiting for it to say which terminal the train was leaving from. They walked to the terminal. They stood in line. Haley Joel Osment felt Dakota Fanning looking at him with a worried facial expression. He looked at her with a bored facial expression and thought “Gazing at her indifferently” and looked away. She touched him and he did not reciprocate.

They went downstairs to the train.

“Bye,” said Haley Joel Osment and went upstairs without waiting for a response.

The next day in Bobst Library Haley Joel Osment emailed Dakota Fanning that he was going to potty train his brother’s dog in Connecticut for money. He said he didn’t have much money left and didn’t know where to live when his lease ended.

“When are you leaving?” said Dakota Fanning on Gmail chat that night.

“Tomorrow morning,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“I feel terrible,” said Dakota Fanning.

“So do I,” said Haley Joel Osment

“I’m coming to see you tonight,” said Dakota Fanning. “I don’t care how long I have to walk or if I only get to see you for like 5 minutes. I feel like shit. I just cleaned out my entire house in an hour so I can get out.”

“Get out,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“I am. I stole more money. She already said I could leave.”

“Get out of what,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Here. I am going somewhere tonight. If you don’t want to see me I’m okay with that. But I am going somewhere.” Haley Joel Osment asked where. “I don’t know,” said Dakota Fanning. “I’ll probably go to New Haven and just walk around.”