Mian Mian - Candy (chinese)

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Candy (chinese): краткое содержание, описание и аннотация

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An international literary phenomenon-now available for the first time in English translation-Candy is a hip, harrowing tale of risk and desire, the story of a young Chinese woman forging a life for herself in a world seemingly devoid of guidelines. Hong, who narrates the novel, and whose life in many ways parallels the author''s own, drops out of high school and runs away at age 17 to the frontier city of Shenzen. As Hong navigates the temptations of the city, she quickly falls in love with a young musician and together they dive into a cruel netherworld of alcohol, drugs, and excess, a life that fails to satisfy Hong''s craving for an authentic self, and for a love that will define her. This startling and subversive novel is a blast of sex, drugs, and rock ''n'' roll that opens up to us a modern China we''ve never seen before. – Banned in China -with Mian Mian labeled the ''poster child for spiritual pollution''-CANDY still managed to sell 60,000 copies, as well as countless additional copies in pirated editions. – CANDY has been published in eight countries to date and has become a bestseller in France.
***
Sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll: ingredients for novels about modern China? Yes, SHANGHAI BABY by Wei Hui (Pocket Books, 2001) showed international readers modern Chinese youth were not immune to the running dogs of Western decadence: Globalization might even include mixing with dissolute foreigners. Following SHANGHAI BABY to English by a few years, Mian Mian now suggests with CANDY the decadence is more likely homegrown, possibly an inevitable side-effect of China's ascension to manufacturing colossus for the world. After this first novel by Shanghainese Mian was banned in China -an "honor" Wei Hui also earned – she was labelled a "poster child for spiritual pollution."
The buzz made CANDY an underground bestseller.
Whether Mian Mian harvested autobiographical details for her protagonist Hong's drug-plagued odyssey is open to question. She prefaces the novel with a note: "This book exists because one morning as the sun was coming up I told myself that I had to swallow up all of the fear and garbage around me, and once it was inside me I had to transform it all into candy. Because I know you all will be able to love me for it."
In a larger context, Hong's story, the characters in her life, often resonate with American stories we've heard of the Old West and Gold Rush days (whether in California or Alaska). She leaves Shanghai to seek her future in the new frontier of the Special Economic Zones the Chinese government created along the south coast in the 1980s, near Guangzhou. Not only did the SEZs permit a laissez faire approach to business-much of the Confucian social rules that apply elsewhere are ignored. In the SEZ thick with fortune seekers and finders, prostitution flourishes, as does alcohol and drug addiction.
Hong, only 17, has dropped out of a competitive high school, somewhat dispirited by the suicide of a classmate (an echo of Murakami's NORWEGIAN WOOD), when she leaves for the south. There she meets a young musician Saining and they become lovers, so often hopeless for each other and so often hopeless for their addictions. They survive, slacker-style, largely by the generosity of Saining's mom, who lives in Japan.
Hong's love for Saining has compelling moments of violence, promiscuity, and druggy indifference. But the greatest achievement of Hong's story, perhaps, is the honest testimony to the erasure of desire, the great sucking away of soul only addiction can wreak on a love that nonetheless won't go away. From a null point, from a Murakami-esque death in life, Hong goes on to find redemption can be hers.This stark portrait is not without lighter moments. For example, Hong's friend Bug is convinced he has AIDS. The horror of that discovery is brought alive. Page after page: consultation with friends, plans to leave the country, examination by a Beijing AIDS specialist. Finally, the revelation too many OTC drugs to get high had caused the troubling symptoms.
Like Murakami's post-consumerist young generation in Japan, Mian Mian suggests the same search for individual authenticity is underway in China. As China 's economic engine gains force, so does disillusionment among the young with the old ways. Hong suggests her ambivalence towards China 's rising star: "The moment the plane left the ground, I fucking burst into tears. I swore I would never come back to this town in the South again. This weird, plastic, bullshit Special Economic Zone, with all that pain and sadness, and the face of love, and the whole totally fucked-up world of heroin, and the late 1980s gold rush mentality, and all that pop music from Taiwan and Hong Kong. This place had all of the best and all of the worst. It had become my eternal nightmare." Hong awakes before the CANDY is gone. Mian's compassion for youth of New China elevates and brings irony to a story lesser writers might have passed off as sensation-ridden heroin chic.

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他爱我爱得像一座铜像,我当时认为只有他对我的爱情是爱情,其他爱情统统是“在路上”。

事情是这样的,有一天大家在酒吧玩,谈谈突然对所有的人说:这个女人很诱人,你们谁都想上她。但是谁愿意娶她?他说这话时带着悲剧情绪,这立刻就激怒了我。我顺手拿起大本给了他一个耳光,我说你以为你是谁?那本子是我的小说,本子的塑料封面划伤了谈谈的眼睛,我可没想到事情会这么严重,我有点慌,所以就冲进了厕所,而我没想到他居然在几分钟后出现在我身后,事情就从这里开始了。

在他冲进公共女厕所向我求婚时我也曾有过刹那的犹豫,然而贝多芬的音乐在耳边挥之不去我不停地对自己说 我“非如此不可非如此不可”。我想每个女人都会有这种 虚弱的危险阶段。我十分愿意嫁给一个很爱我而且很出名 的人。我以为这样就可以把自己解决掉。

那时我认为女人比男人更容易在婚姻里寻找到保障。现在我认为男人都是孩子,永远不要把男人和自己的命运搞在一起,只管欣赏他的存在就行了。但是现在已经晚了。

订婚的酒宴摆了一场又一场。谈谈说痛苦可以一个人扛着,幸福绝对要和大家一起分享。他说我给了他从来没有过的自信,他“自我膨胀”得厉害,他把我作为战利品到处炫耀却忘记了我的存在。

我们的爱情生活开始出现模糊警号,无知的军队在夜里对阵,他吵得像个闹钟。我开始患得患失,我恶狠狠地认为在爱情里最不可靠的就是嘴巴。他酗酒越来越厉害,酒精搞坏了他的味觉也错乱了他的神经,他一喝醉就发誓要做中国唱片业的“幕后黑手”(他喜欢把唱片业说成“这条街”,他说“这条街”没有“老大”,我喜欢他这话)。他到处喝酒吹牛,不负责任,胡搅蛮缠,从不愧疚。一喝醉就找架打,而且从来都是打那些最无事最弱小的人,他不停不停喝酒,他忘了忘了结束。

最糟糕的是他开始打我。突如其来的拳头有一次把我的尿都吓了出来。他说打我是因为爱我,今夜星光灿烂我怎么也无法感到有一股爱的暖流从我那被踢的火辣辣的屁股传向心脏。打女人和说谎一样,有了第一次就有无数次。他总是挑人多的时候打我,我们单独在一起的时候他从不打我(那时他大多是睡觉,有时我觉着他睡得像个孩子,有时我觉着他睡得像个白痴)。他打我的时候我从不躲闪,我知道我根本躲不了。我的梦想碎成了星空,我想一个曾经那么好的男人怎么会变成这样呢?我因此而内疚,我当时觉着那是我造成的,因为我说的每一句话似乎都会让他不高兴,我没能力让一个爱我的男人平静,他打我是在对他自己进行最绝望的伤害。当时我就那么想的,尽管我恨他打我。

谈谈有一些酒鬼朋友,和他们一起吃饭恐怖而过痛。我看见他们喝着喝着就开始飞盘子飞瓶子,自己人跟自己人打,大家哭大家笑,打完再喝,喝完再打,打完再哭,直到眼发直不说话趴在那儿。他们有时也会唱歌,我喜欢他们的歌声,个个都是铁汉柔情令我惊讶。和谈谈在一起经常会看到这种酒精总爆发的时刻。起初他酒醉后生气的神情令我心伤,后来我发现他喜欢喝酒骂人,他骂人骂得牙龈出血,他是病态的。我特别想送他去医院,但他说精神病人都是最聪明的,你看我是精神病,我看你们都是精神病。不过有时间我真想去精神病院住住,领个蓝本子出来,以后我要是犯了罪就不会有麻烦。

他的这番话让我开始觉得他真的有病,他的病有点复杂。

他经常说你能不能闭上你的嘴,你能做到的话我会给你一件礼物的。他说对付我这种上海女人的唯一方式就是打击打击再打击,为了把我打击到底就必须得把我娶到手。

我说你是我所见过的最不优雅的男人。

谈谈说别

跟我提优雅,我把毕生的经历都倾注在“优雅”这两个字上也不会变得优雅起来。

我说我终于明白我需要的是一个我不必去和他辩论的丈夫。

有一天他在一家餐厅打我,我在这家餐厅转着圈逃,我怎么也找不到门,最后我停下来,我说你杀了我,要么放了我,我真的不要再看到你。

在他冲进厨房拿刀的时候,我找到了门。

那时我没有钱,我必须每天在他钱包里偷钱,我希望我很快可以凑到一张机票钱,我没有脸问父亲要钱,因为这个男人拿走了父亲给我的所有的钱。

谈谈跟看门的说我女朋友有精神病,所以如果她拿着个大箱子出去了,请通知我。

谈谈每天上班时给我送纸条,纸条上写着嫁给我吧,我永远爱你。

我非常想有人可以帮我把箱子拿出去,我只要求这点,我不能把这个箱子留在这里,因为里面是我所有的唱片,我不能没有那些唱片。

大家都同情我,没有人帮我,能帮我的人都想让他出唱片,所以没有人帮我。从那时起我才体会到这些摇滚乐队们是多么想出唱片,这个疯了的城市。我十分不理解赛宁怎么能在这个城市生活那么久。也许他需要变得猛一些。在我看来这是个危险的城市,它的危险在于它十分容易让人充满挑战欲却又迷失了自己。

我终于逃回了上海,我喜欢上海的空气,我不喜欢干燥的地方。

现在,任何男人的任何甜言蜜语都会让我恶心,这是谈谈给我带来的障碍。我决定在男人以外找到我自己的生活。我想我必须得为自己构造一个完整的自己。可这从何开始呢?

我是一只红色气球,我善于假设,假设自己在莫斯科弹钢琴,在兔兔餐厅跳扭扭舞。我又开始到酒吧去玩,我有时也想在各色人种的人群里找出一张令我惊奇的中国男人的脸。在酒吧和男人聊天,只要他喝酒超过四杯或者越喝话越多,或者干脆说了句谈谈说过的话,我就会科,我会索然寡味,我那张矫柔造作的脸上就会立刻飘过一片小乌云。

这次我带歌手去北京演出,他木知怎么找到了我住的酒店,我们有过一些谈话,他说他现在不酗酒了。表面上看他比以前平静,但我知道有什么在他心里变得更为可怕了。他是只迷途的羊,他的问题这个世界都解决不了。我认为我唯一能做的就是不刺激他,并且不伤害我的生活。

我深刻体会到一个流氓如果有点文化,事情就难办了。但是现在,当我决定把这些写出来的时候,我认为如果说我有过什么错误的话,那就是我曾经过于低估了我们之间的关系对我的影响。

(当脚下的冰很薄时,我必须要走得快些再快些。我非常想比较理性地把一切写清楚,但只要一想到谈谈,我就必须加快我的速度。)

现在,他突然死了,他死在我的房间里。这个超级混合物到底是没有死在街上,扮演一个流氓要比扮演一个艺术家容易得多。我说过我的男人性格倔犟但我求他别在街上表演坚强。谈谈无数次把他最终的舞台选在街头,他一喝醉就对我说我一定会被砍死在街头我一定要死在街头。

现在,一块碎玻璃插在他的脖子的底部,据说是正好插在一个绝对一命呜呼的部位。那块碎玻璃上有我的指纹,我的。天知道哪个混蛋偏偏就选了有我指纹的那块玻璃,那块玻璃是我喝的葡萄酒的瓶子打碎的,大瓶的。我认为谈谈是一个没有羞耻感的人,或者说他不允许自己羞耻,所以我坚信他不会自杀。但是到底谁杀了他12月27日我干了什么没人能证明。

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