Mian Mian - Candy (chinese)

Здесь есть возможность читать онлайн «Mian Mian - Candy (chinese)» весь текст электронной книги совершенно бесплатно (целиком полную версию без сокращений). В некоторых случаях можно слушать аудио, скачать через торрент в формате fb2 и присутствует краткое содержание. Жанр: Современная проза, на китайском языке. Описание произведения, (предисловие) а так же отзывы посетителей доступны на портале библиотеки ЛибКат.

Candy (chinese): краткое содержание, описание и аннотация

Предлагаем к чтению аннотацию, описание, краткое содержание или предисловие (зависит от того, что написал сам автор книги «Candy (chinese)»). Если вы не нашли необходимую информацию о книге — напишите в комментариях, мы постараемся отыскать её.

An international literary phenomenon-now available for the first time in English translation-Candy is a hip, harrowing tale of risk and desire, the story of a young Chinese woman forging a life for herself in a world seemingly devoid of guidelines. Hong, who narrates the novel, and whose life in many ways parallels the author''s own, drops out of high school and runs away at age 17 to the frontier city of Shenzen. As Hong navigates the temptations of the city, she quickly falls in love with a young musician and together they dive into a cruel netherworld of alcohol, drugs, and excess, a life that fails to satisfy Hong''s craving for an authentic self, and for a love that will define her. This startling and subversive novel is a blast of sex, drugs, and rock ''n'' roll that opens up to us a modern China we''ve never seen before. – Banned in China -with Mian Mian labeled the ''poster child for spiritual pollution''-CANDY still managed to sell 60,000 copies, as well as countless additional copies in pirated editions. – CANDY has been published in eight countries to date and has become a bestseller in France.
***
Sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll: ingredients for novels about modern China? Yes, SHANGHAI BABY by Wei Hui (Pocket Books, 2001) showed international readers modern Chinese youth were not immune to the running dogs of Western decadence: Globalization might even include mixing with dissolute foreigners. Following SHANGHAI BABY to English by a few years, Mian Mian now suggests with CANDY the decadence is more likely homegrown, possibly an inevitable side-effect of China's ascension to manufacturing colossus for the world. After this first novel by Shanghainese Mian was banned in China -an "honor" Wei Hui also earned – she was labelled a "poster child for spiritual pollution."
The buzz made CANDY an underground bestseller.
Whether Mian Mian harvested autobiographical details for her protagonist Hong's drug-plagued odyssey is open to question. She prefaces the novel with a note: "This book exists because one morning as the sun was coming up I told myself that I had to swallow up all of the fear and garbage around me, and once it was inside me I had to transform it all into candy. Because I know you all will be able to love me for it."
In a larger context, Hong's story, the characters in her life, often resonate with American stories we've heard of the Old West and Gold Rush days (whether in California or Alaska). She leaves Shanghai to seek her future in the new frontier of the Special Economic Zones the Chinese government created along the south coast in the 1980s, near Guangzhou. Not only did the SEZs permit a laissez faire approach to business-much of the Confucian social rules that apply elsewhere are ignored. In the SEZ thick with fortune seekers and finders, prostitution flourishes, as does alcohol and drug addiction.
Hong, only 17, has dropped out of a competitive high school, somewhat dispirited by the suicide of a classmate (an echo of Murakami's NORWEGIAN WOOD), when she leaves for the south. There she meets a young musician Saining and they become lovers, so often hopeless for each other and so often hopeless for their addictions. They survive, slacker-style, largely by the generosity of Saining's mom, who lives in Japan.
Hong's love for Saining has compelling moments of violence, promiscuity, and druggy indifference. But the greatest achievement of Hong's story, perhaps, is the honest testimony to the erasure of desire, the great sucking away of soul only addiction can wreak on a love that nonetheless won't go away. From a null point, from a Murakami-esque death in life, Hong goes on to find redemption can be hers.This stark portrait is not without lighter moments. For example, Hong's friend Bug is convinced he has AIDS. The horror of that discovery is brought alive. Page after page: consultation with friends, plans to leave the country, examination by a Beijing AIDS specialist. Finally, the revelation too many OTC drugs to get high had caused the troubling symptoms.
Like Murakami's post-consumerist young generation in Japan, Mian Mian suggests the same search for individual authenticity is underway in China. As China 's economic engine gains force, so does disillusionment among the young with the old ways. Hong suggests her ambivalence towards China 's rising star: "The moment the plane left the ground, I fucking burst into tears. I swore I would never come back to this town in the South again. This weird, plastic, bullshit Special Economic Zone, with all that pain and sadness, and the face of love, and the whole totally fucked-up world of heroin, and the late 1980s gold rush mentality, and all that pop music from Taiwan and Hong Kong. This place had all of the best and all of the worst. It had become my eternal nightmare." Hong awakes before the CANDY is gone. Mian's compassion for youth of New China elevates and brings irony to a story lesser writers might have passed off as sensation-ridden heroin chic.

Candy (chinese) — читать онлайн бесплатно полную книгу (весь текст) целиком

Ниже представлен текст книги, разбитый по страницам. Система сохранения места последней прочитанной страницы, позволяет с удобством читать онлайн бесплатно книгу «Candy (chinese)», без необходимости каждый раз заново искать на чём Вы остановились. Поставьте закладку, и сможете в любой момент перейти на страницу, на которой закончили чтение.

Тёмная тема
Сбросить

Интервал:

Закладка:

Сделать

我认为他是个混蛋。他是如此傲慢!但如果我真的离 开他的话那就真的什么都完了。我似乎突然才反应过来, 这几年我的生活里其实只有赛宁一个人。

但我的确不知道如何是好,我们的生活里从来就不曾 谈论过控制。现在毒品控制了赛宁。他变了,情绪时高时 低,莫名其妙,要命的是他不再需要和我沟通,他变得灰 暗、孤僻、冷漠。我试过各种办法来引起他的注意,所有 努力的结果是他越搞越凶,他说其实他很需要这种被什么东西莫名其妙控制住的生活,他说吸毒不会让他去偷去借去抢,他现在就是不能

没有毒品,毒品让他找到了自己,这种感觉是他需要的。

最后,他说没办法,我回不来了。

酒精已开始令我有生理反应。我有时也会为酗酒而内疚,同时却又操心下一次何时再喝。酒精给我一种伙伴的感觉,我是多么的需要这种感觉,那令我安全。每天我从睡醒后开始喝起,酗酒的生活让我变得越来越沉默寡言。虽然我很少会喝得神志不清,但是我每天必须喝下大量的酒精以维持某种放松的水平。有一次我同时喝了几种酒并且是喝得太快,我终于有了喝醉的感觉,那情形丑陋得要命,我在洗手间呕出一大口血,那口血的颜色是近乎黑色的。我第一次感到酒也是邪恶的,酒的邪恶感是慢慢到来的。

酒精和毒品让我们的生活走入极限,生活的画面处于不停的变化中,这刺激,我们暗自喜欢。穿行在薄雾之中,我们成了两个危险分子,“世界昏迷亲人伤感”,所谓爱的感觉在越来越模糊的感伤中消失殆尽。从疯狂做爱到看都懒得看对方一眼,我们像两个极不友好的邻居一样住在一起,生活开始变得低级趣味起来,我们常常会为一点小事吵得鸡飞狗跳,还频频拿英雄人物开玩笑。

在这发了疯的生活里,我们已无法确定伤害的含义。

我们有时也会突然抒情起来,一个劝对方戒毒,一个劝对方戒酒,每次都声泪俱下的。

赛宁突然说要去这个城市附近一个开发中的小镇唱歌,我说随你便吧有事干总比整天忙着搞海洛因好。你也不必每天来回赶长途车,你可以在小镇上再租间房子。我给你两个月时间,如果你再不戒毒的话,就做好准备和我同归于尽吧。

他改作“歌星”以后我们就客气了起来。他没有在小镇上租房子,他每天来回花四个小时在路上,我几乎看不到他在吸毒,我也减少了喝酒,大多时间我在昏睡,我很想在睡眠里自然死亡。我觉得我曾经很幸福,很享受,也没为生活吃过什么苦,现在经常感觉钱不够用,我的性欲总被拒绝,久而久之我也没了性欲,男朋友变成这样,还是死了算了。

有一次我心血来潮,我一个人来到了小镇。我看见几 家酒店门口都摆放着赛宁的大幅宣传照,他的这些照片什 么时候照的我都不知道。他现在成了“摇滚红星”,这称 呼用在他身上很滑稽,在以前赛宁是绝对不会允许的.他 是个柔和的疯子。

可是,在看他演出时我认为除了倒霉的命运还在继 续,赛宁的变化是耸人听闻的。一切都是为了吸引注意力 而制造注意力,摇滚精神早已荡然无存。他在欺骗听众。欺骗他的乐手、甚至欺骗他自己。我可没想到赛宁会变成这样。

最令我哭笑不得的是他的那帮乐手,我发现他们都是些十六七岁本地孩子,他们的父母都是农民,改革开放以后盖起了楼房,靠出租房生活,我搞不懂赛宁是如何在这么短的时间里成为这帮孩子的头的,我更搞不懂这些孩子(尽管他们的演出时刻像在排练但我觉得他们挺可爱的),他们是从哪跑出来的,他们什么时候练的?他们不念书吗?

他们似乎有很多歌迷。有的和我一样是坐长途车来的。酒精的味道、赛宁带领下乐队的发作、众人粗暴的放纵,在既厌倦又满足的沉醉之后大家什么也获得不了。因为现在的赛宁什么也不是,他的演出像一场杂耍表演,也许他在有意识地颠覆自身,我不知道,我呆了。

在后台我看到几个非常小的女孩来找赛宁,她们会送一些稀奇古怪的礼物给赛宁,我发现在赛宁演出的几个场子总能看到这几个女孩子,我听见她们中的一个说我多想和他的女朋友换换呀!这话立刻让我忿忿不平起来:女朋友你知道做他女朋友是一种什么滋味吗?

晚上吃宵夜时我和赛宁当着乐队大吵了起来。赛宁说他现在就喜欢这样玩音乐。我说你自己也知道这些是狗屎的,对吧?中国人还刚刚开始接触摇滚,中国人要想买到摇滚唱片还很难,这些孩子,还有那些歌迷,你在误导他们你知道吗?你怎么可以这样?

赛宁说那你说说摇滚是什么?

我说我不知道摇滚是什么?但我知道什么不是摇滚!

有一天,我在我们家小黑板上发现了这样一段英文:请你相信我,那条小河告诉我,它温柔得想要拥抱我,自由下坠,飞落,小河飞奔不停向前,在河下呼吸,直至生命终结。这种方法只有小河知道。请你相信我,如果你不再需要我,我只需要一点时间就会离开,我向你保证,我会让自己在美酒中沉沦。

赛宁整天赶场子唱歌,浑浑噩噩的没有清醒的时候。有一次演出结束时,有两个便衣警察走进后台,他们小声询问赛宁是否私藏武器?这个混蛋居然以为这是有人在和他开玩笑,他笑着说对我还有两个手榴弹!结果他被立刻带走。谁也不知道他是被哪个部门带走的。我求到我以前唱歌的夜总会的老板

,我们开着车一路找过去,结果在一个小的不能再小的派出所的特案组找到了他。

在回家的路上我们一句话也不说,我觉着这一切无聊透了。

一进家门,赛宁立刻找出海洛因,我知道他早就犯癌 了。我一把抢过他的小纸包扔出窗外。

我不该保你出来,我应该让你在里面犯病,让他们把 你送到戒毒所去待上半年。

你看你都干了些什么!你现在的音乐假的要命,我不 要看到你,你恶心。

有人告诉我你被抓的消息让很多女孩花容失色,“坏孩子赛宁”什么时候成了尤物了?你离开三毛就是为了做这些吗?

你给我离开那个小镇,我不许你再去搞那些混蛋音乐。

赛宁始终一声不吭的,我开始砸他的小提琴,砸他的吉他,我知道这对他是最致命的。暴跳如雷的赛宁像一架失去了控制的机器,他居然用被我扯断的吉他琴弦把我缠在阳台上,我们的狗一直在狂叫。

人都是有弱点的,你把你自己的弱点找出来了再骂我!

他说完这句话就走了,七个小时以后才回来。面对着他语天伦次的道歉我说我要搬出去,我一再说明我只是搬出去住段时间在一起我会紧张。

我又一次搬了出去,这一次我的脑子一片空白。回

三毛回来了,我不停地对他叙述我生活中的不幸。

三毛说现实是堵病欲的墙,我们要穿越那堵墙,音乐可以拯救我们。三毛总是把音乐和命运联系起来,因此他总是显得比较有责任感,比较沉重。

而赛宁一直认为音乐就是他最热爱的一件事情,这和拯救无关。玩音乐不可能拯救他,也不可能给他带来平静。赛宁认为能够拯救灵魂的只有宗教,但他现在还没开悟。而音乐不是宗教。赛宁认为由于音乐离身体太近,所以有一天音乐可能把他毁灭。

Читать дальше
Тёмная тема
Сбросить

Интервал:

Закладка:

Сделать

Похожие книги на «Candy (chinese)»

Представляем Вашему вниманию похожие книги на «Candy (chinese)» списком для выбора. Мы отобрали схожую по названию и смыслу литературу в надежде предоставить читателям больше вариантов отыскать новые, интересные, ещё непрочитанные произведения.


Отзывы о книге «Candy (chinese)»

Обсуждение, отзывы о книге «Candy (chinese)» и просто собственные мнения читателей. Оставьте ваши комментарии, напишите, что Вы думаете о произведении, его смысле или главных героях. Укажите что конкретно понравилось, а что нет, и почему Вы так считаете.

x