William Gaddis - J R

— God damned witch comes on gives them a little Che volo d’augelli from Pagliacci God damned heads really rear up at that all pile out come down and dance around her hell of a thing to choreograph how’s that, parish priest swells into a big God damned tumescent baritone gives us Se vuol ballare from Figaro breaks into a tap dance rest of them get the God damned Anvil Chorus banging away in the background how’s that. Didn’t want to tell Bast whole plot cousin’s a God damned witch take you right off at the roots…

— Look just get that last bundle in here, you can sleep in here…

— God damned truth Tom real God damned witch lies there spread open for you really somewhere else, lies there takes it like a God damned cow really someplace else all the time didn’t want to tell Bast, witches can’t weep ever know that Tom? Tell Bast God damned cousin put you right out of business…

— In here, where are you going…

— God damned bottle, lost the God damned ice just get used to it…

— Wait you’re dragging a shirt on your foot damn it, wait…

— Told you worst God damned get to the point shirts follow you around right in here, nice little furnished room needs curtains Tom can’t take this room, discommode anybody…

— What the hell are you talking about it’s…

— Suitcase open here thought you’re taking in transients…

— Jack God damn it the room’s empty can’t you, it’s David’s room can’t you see how God damned empty it is! He lifted the bag open from the low bed to the only chair, — just a bag I haven’t unpacked, here move your foot…

— Hillbilly’s wife says Zeb move yer foot yer astandin on a hot coal Zeb says…

— Jack damn it just move your foot will you? You’re standing on a book you’ve already broken the…

— Good thought I forgot it, part in there about God damned witch takes this virgin up to a room where she, wait what the hell is this? Said you’d brought my book what the hell is this?

— I didn’t say I’d brought your book here, give it to me, something I picked up to read on the plane…

— Heart of Darkness, God damned cheerful reading Heart of Darkness, part at the end he takes her picture and letters back to her…

— Jack be careful you, sit down or you’re going to…

— God damned stuff make you sick, part she says you were his friend, part she says you knew what great plans he had something must remain wants his last word to live with, part you knock on the mahogany door take the papers up to Mrs Schramm wants his last words to live with believing and shitting are two very different things Mrs Schramm always remember that part…

— Jack shut up I, I don’t want to talk about it tonight just, look I’m going to bed, just try to wipe the whole God damn thing out till tomorrow I’m so, so damn sick of all of it…

— Stuff make you God damned sick lost the ice, here…

— I don’t want any more no, I tell you I just saw his God damn general? Hasn’t changed a bit since he got his first star leaving Schramm out there still thinks he’s wearing four stars, walk on the wrong side of him he thinks you’ve disappeared.

— Who.

— Box, General Box, he’s a director of the company, made him one because he still has a few broken down connections at the Pentagon and he’s great to send to a ground breaking in a broken down country where you’ve started a civil war to secede the one province where the whole God damn country’s mineral wealth is, I had to fly three thousand miles to spoon feed him a speech so he wouldn’t say Plato rhymes with tomato damn it Jack I can’t take this anymore, little bastard Davidoff every damn speech I write we go over twenty times till he gets human betterment and a two edged sword at one fell swoop and his God damn iceberg into it, has me take a Chinaman out to tie one on and sit there while he blows chewed up meat across the table at me I can’t take it anymore, the whole thing is just, the whole place there’s nothing real about any of it, one thing that’s real in that whole God damn place is that painting of Schepperman’s, see it when you come in it’s so God damn real you…

— Hell are we talking about painting of Schepperman’s thought we’re talking about Plato.

— That tremendous painting of his they’ve got in the lobby I told you about it…

— Tell me about any painting of Schepperman’s Tom what…

— But I, I never told you? I never told you what happened? Met Schepperman coming out of a White Rose bar really looked like hell didn’t I tell you? a few months ago didn’t I tell you?

— Tom always meet him coming out of a White Rose bar lend him ten don’t see him again till you meet him coming out of a White…

— No no that’s the point it wasn’t money, he had a wealthy patroness giving him some every month he’d been working like hell, giving him enough to buy paints and live on the way he lives in that loft he didn’t give a damn for the money it was the paintings, he was giving them to her and never saw them again nobody saw them. She was just locking them away somewhere probably never looked at them herself, nobody saw them and there’s Schepperman thrown out of one White Rose bar we went into the next one pounding the bar about making a statement, dirty flannel shirt hadn’t shaved for a week and he put his face in his hands, he’s bigger than I am and you see that whole back of his shake, pounds the bar again and shouts about making a statement locked up in the dark nobody to see it. One God damn statement after another where nobody could see it and he didn’t give a damn for the money, just his statements shut up where nobody could see them only God damn reason he’d painted them, grabs somebody by the collar shouting is true? is true? and we’re thrown out of that White Rose too…

— Schepperman God damned statements still got one of his God damned statements carved in stone over the God damned front door, God damned school board find it’s Karl Marx I tried to help him out worst God damned thing you can do, try to help him out worst God damned…

— What the hell do you mean it’s the best thing I’ve done since I’ve been with that God damn company, it’s the only thing, little bastard Davidoff running around looking for a name painter when they decided to get in on this phony business honeymoon with the arts, a big mural for the lobby and this little bastard Davidoff running around looking for a name painter right after I saw Schepperman I thought I’ll give you a name you little bastard. I called up a few people and talked up Schepperman, got together a few of his old grants and honors and let Davidoff take all the credit for discovering him just kept them from meeting each other and they bought this staggering thing of his must be ten by twenty feet, all shattering blacks and whites I don’t know how the God damn company officers keep the jelly in their heads together when it hits them in the morning. I got him twelve thousand dollars for it he didn’t give a God damn but I had to, paid any less that little bastard Davidoff wouldn’t have thought he was a name painter but all Schepperman was excited about was having it hung up there where people can see it…

— Tom worst God damn thing you can do help out the God damned artist, comes back bites the nose that spite your face, stuff make you God damned sick Tom better off when he was selling blood to the Red Cross to buy paints stuff really make you sick…

— Just give me that bottle then will you? Damn it just give it to me…! Jack listen you’re in worse shape than I ever, never seen you in worse shape how the hell do you expect to walk into a classroom with a throat sounds like…

— Don’t Tom.

— Well how the hell do you keep this teaching job? Show up there like this and they…