William Gaddis - J R

— Like those other bystanders don’t you? Listen, and what, then, is to be thought of those witches who in this way sometimes collect male organs in great numbers, as many as twenty or thirty members together, and put them in a bird’s nest, or shut them up in a box, where they move themselves like living members, and eat oats and corn, as has been seen by many and is a matter of common report, ever see that Tom?

— No and I’m…

— Make a nice musical listen, for a certain man tells that, when he had lost his member, he approached a known witch to ask her to restore it to him. She told the afflicted man to climb a certain tree, and that he might take which he liked out of a nest in which there were several members. And when he tried to take a big one, the witch said you must not take that one, adding, because it belonged to a parish priest. Make a God damned lively musical wouldn’t it?

— Bast look I’m going to have to leave him here, I have to get down to…

— Wait God damn it Tom leave poor Bast here alone trying to write his opera needs a God damned libretto, stringer whereon mad thingers said I’d help him dig out the piano just trying to help him out with Schramm gone right Bast? All those God damned bystanders there’s your chorus…

— Well it, it’s not an opera any more Mister Gibbs it, I’m not working on an opera any more I’ve made it a cantata and…

— God damn it see that Tom God damn it see that? God damned wise man pulls out nobody to tell him what to do next right Bast? Write a cantata you don’t need a plot, problem everybody running around wants to be told what happens next don’t need a plot, looking for the wise man tell them what am I supposed to do now God damned wise man find out he’s doing the same God damned thing walks up the shade and he’s gone, rest of us sitting here looking at his footprints think he took it with him and he’s gone…

— Mister Eigen while you’re here I, I wanted to ask what I should do about the electri…

— Abraham Lincoln walks at midnight rest of us sitting here staring at his God damned footprints right up the, where the hell did he go, got footprints all over the mail never saw so God damned much mail Bast where…

— Yes well that, that one I put on top for Mister Grynszpan from Consolidated Edison about a bill for twelve hundred…

— Simple God damned misunderstanding Bast…

— Yes but I can’t understand why they’ve turned off the gas but left the electricity on if he owes them twelve…

— Turned off everything Bast, Grynszpan just trying to avoid unpleasantness tapped these lines in bypassed the meter save everybody a lot of trouble, whole God damned billing system save Consolided Edison trouble with their God damned billing system, save them postage legal fees all the God damned heartache goes with it, poor God damned meter reader poking around ashcans with his flashlight save him the trouble…

— Bast look I have to get downtown, if you’re staying here tonight maybe we can put him back in the other apartment and just let him get some…

— Right with you Tom just want to look at this mail, somebody Bast must have stacked up tried to match tops and bottoms Bast know any Indians? Something from some Indians Grynszpan know any Indians Tom?

— Yes that I, I haven’t found the top half of that yet so I don’t know whether…

— Nice invitation Bast all go out and see them, got some rocks they want us to see sounds like they’re selling something God damned bunch of Indians always selling something, says mineral exploration claims and drilling leases they’re really out on the back porch making a lot of God damned baskets nobody wants to, who the hell is Eunice Begg, know Eunice Begg Bast? God damned mad about something I’ll tell you that from the bottom half, she…

— Look just get his arm maybe we can…

— Wait what, wait, bottom half of a senator office of Senator Milliken Grynszpan know any senators Tom? Always ready to discuss matters pertaining to the welfare and prosperity of my constituents wants money, only time the bastards write form letters want money, half two tickets to Five Thousand Years of Egyptian History at Hunter College Auditorium with our compliments where’s the other halfs, I go with you Bast? Sounds God damned interesting…

— Mister Gibbs I, if Mister Eigen takes one arm and I…

— One more second Bast right with you, somebody God damned annoyed all the looms being removed to be sent to South America going to strike wait, got a cemetery, Ancient and Loyal Order of wait some God damned cemetery might need one Tom, trouble Schramm getting into Arlington already got a hundred fifty-seven thousand packed in there like fish might need one God, damn it all right I’m coming, sounds like a God damn good opportunity though whole God damned cemetery… he steadied against 24–7 Oz Pkgs Flavored Loops, — not taking your Baldung with you Tom? Rhoda with the hairy diadem nicest God damned name I could think offhand ought to get yourself one, sounds like a God damned good opportunity… and he got past the armless sofa toward Mazola New Improved, — whole cemetery sell real estate plots six by eight instead of sixty by eighty lot more tenants don’t complain no heating problems all the God damned heartache right with you Tom, just get my research material back here bring it along…

— Jack wait damn it, wait what the hell do you…

— Just need these top bundles Bast can you shove those lampshades over the…

— I said wait! Look damn it you can’t take those downtown I just sent a load of newspapers up here, they get here yet Bast?

— Yes they, I meant to tell you yes I piled them in there on the tub and…

— Damn it Jack look at that, I haven’t had a chance to read and clip those yet so I sent them up here and now you want to…

— It’s all right Tom different thing, Morning Telegraph here and that’s the God damned Times calls itself the newspaper of record, think you find Mister Fred past performance in the God damned newspaper of record?

— Look if you bring those downtown they’re going out on the…

— Raindance with Melindez up, things are in the saddle Tom just pull that pile out under there Bast will you? No trouble Bast be glad to help us…

— All right but listen damn it tomorrow they go out on the street whatever you, watch the door there…

— Watch the wait, wait tell Bast what time it is get him back on base twelve, God damned things in the saddle and ride mankind Bast can’t set it till midnight, Bast? Hear me over the bosom of shining…

— Just get the, it’s all right Bast we can manage, just get the door closed…

— Can’t see a God damned thing, like leaving Pittsburgh…

— Look Jack just, wait give me that pile and watch your…

— God damned stairs can’t see a God damned, listen. Listen hear that? God damned telephone ringing someplace can’t see a…

— Hello Mister?

— Tom somebody on the stairs here don’t step on him…

— Mister you came in the apartment by the end of the hall? Is empty now he went away in the bag Mister?

— What, what the hell do you…

— Mister my vife, five flights her legs she couldn’t go up and down anymore Mister…

— Went away in a bag God damn it I’ll put you in a…

— Jack shut up leave him alone, just get the door…

— Put him in a God damned bag…

— Hurry up there’s a cab…

— Come the five Jones boys pushing their God damned clubhouse across the…

— Look just wait here at the curb, if he sees you with those bundles of paper he won’t stop, just wait here…

— Watch out Tom, cinco Jones run over you with their God damned club…